Come as a child

Today in church our pastor was speaking on who the Kingdom of Heaven belonged to, and when he got to the part of those who were childlike, my ears immediately perked up! I got excited not because I am childlike - although I sincerely hope I am, but because this is a blog topic I've been mulling over for about a week. I take that as a signal that now is the time to write this blog.

What exactly does it mean to "come as a child"? What characteristics does a child have? For many, the answer is that a child is innocent and trusting - well, that may be a baby's description, but for those of us who have worked with children, a very different picture emerges. Children can be so full of life that containing them is a challenge. They are sometimes loud, runny-nosed, smelly, and just plain messy! What about those characteristics?

I really liked what our pastor said about being childlike as opposed to childish. To be childlike meant to be without cynicism...full of wonder instead of doubt. That is a pretty accurate description, but I think there's even more. So, with hat in hand, I submit a further definition of being childlike.

Anyone who is a parent knows the joy of going to pick your child up from the sitter and knowing that when they hear your voice or see your face, that child will come running and shouting your name, eager to be picked up. You are their hero and they are SO glad to see you. That fades with time and as they get older, they tend to ignore your presence - even seem embarassed by it. I want to be the child who eagerly RUNS to my Father God knowing that He has come for me! I don't want the cynicism of time to dull that excitement of knowing my Father is near.

Children also are notorious for hugs and kisses - even if they aren't especially neat when they feel the need to give those hugs and kisses. Jam all over their face - no problem. Gooey mud on their fingers - they don't even give it a second thought. No matter what kind of mess they are in, they eagerly run to their father and wait to be picked up. Too often, when I find my life is a sticky, gooey mess, I think I have to clean myself up BEFORE I can come to my father. Instead, I should just run to Him...He can clean me up much better than I can clean myself. He doesn't turn away and tell me to go clean up before approaching Him - He stoops down to pick me up and return my embrace. I've found myself saying to my own child - "My aren't you a mess," only to have them laughingly agree and reach out for me to fix it.

When a child is hurt, they immediately look for their parent. They know the one who can take the hurt away simply by holding them. I see this in my own children, even though they are now older. They may hold it together, hiding their pain - until they see my face. Then they crumble and just allow me to hold them. At times, when life has beaten them down, they lash out at me. I don't like it, but I know they aren't angry at me. They are frustrated and need to vent. They know no matter what they say or do, I love them. I have had time myself when I railed against the injustice of life to my Father. He is not afraid of my anger or angry at me in return. Instead, He listens, allows me to rant and rage and then reminds me of His Truth that helps me go on in peace. For my anger, He gives peace in return.

Children are sure that their parents can fix anything. It only takes one or two feeble attempts before they come with broken pieces in their hands and beg you to fix it. I wonder how often I forget to take the broken pieces to my Father God to let Him make things new again.

Children believe they can do anything their parent tells them they can do. I was sure I would be a doctor or veterinarian or great artist - all because my parents said I could do it. Yet, I doubt God when He tells me I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Funny how getting older changes things.

A child is filled with the awe and wonder of creation (thanks for pointing that one out Pastor!) My children were constantly filled with wonder at a rock, a flower, a turtle, just about everything when they were young. Yesterday, we went on a nature walk and once again we slowed down enough to marvel at a spider in his web. Maybe it's not just that we forget to be filled with wonder, maybe we forget to slow down enough to see it.

A child is filled with compassion. When they see something that has died, their hearts fill with sorrow - even if it's only a small bird. Have I allowed my heart to become so hardened that it no longer feels sorrow for the helpless...even the birds and opossums? Yes, I know I can't go around crying over ever creature that dies, but do I still feel at least a little sorrow for what sin has brought into this world? That is what caused all this - sin....and mine was a part of that.

A child is always looking to see if their parent is watching. Mama, watch me! How many times have I heard that? Am I still just as eager for my Father's watchful eye? Do I seek His approval above all others?

At times, I have found others who think that an optimistic outlook is simply the mark of someone who just does not understand how dreadful things are. Make no mistake, remaining childlike is NOT easy in today's society. It takes a concentrated effort to find the good in all situations and people. Still, it's worth it....for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

Now, I have to go and deal with my child who is not acting very childlike, but who is acting very childish right now. You can figure out which one.

Ouch!

As I got into the shower this morning, I noticed my knee was stinging quite a bit. When I looked down, I saw the reason why. I was sporting a lovely new "strawberry" on my right knee, compliments of a friend. I also had an aching jaw, compliments from another friend on the same evening.

Now before you think I hang out with some really tough friends, or think I've been in some sort of street brawl, let me say - these were all a result of a recent Krav training workout. These wounds were truly from friends and I actually treasure them....the wounds and the friends.

Let me explain. If you have read any of my earlier blogs about Krav, you might remember that one important aspect of these workouts is having someone who will push me to my limit. It's important in these self-defense workouts to test myself occasionally not in hopes that I will ever have to use these skills, but in hopes that I WON'T! During this week's particular workout, I was clipped in the jaw by one of my friends and then in a practice drill with his daughter, I rubbed my knee raw. (By the way, I wouldn't ever really attack either of these people, not only because they are my friends but also because they pack a pretty mean punch!)

These new "trophies" , as my son refers to them, are evidence that not only can my friends be counted on, they love me as well. To begin with, both somewhat "pulled" their punches. They did not come at me full force. They also gave me chances to "hit" back and didn't take offense at my puny efforts. And of course, all this got me to thinking about a principal from Proverbs that says "Faithful are the wounds of a friend...." (Prov. 27:6)

I am so thankful for these friends...not only in self-defense but in spiritual growth as well. I realize I do have friends who will lovingly "push" me to my limits. Sometimes they even do what to some might seem like striking out, but in fact they are only helping to strengthen me in areas of weakness. They never lash out at me full force, they "pull" their punches keeping in mind what I can stand, always checking after the session to make sure I'm not hurt too much.

I need friends like this; we all do. I know I need people who, when they see me faultering, will take me aside and give me a "punch" back into reality. They aren't doing it just to see me stagger backwards, they do it to help me correct something that may be causing harm or to strengthen me in areas I am weak. I think the grown-up word for all of this is "accountability". No matter what we call it, we need it. I don't want to be surrounded just by those who tell me good things, (although I do really like and need to hear occasionally what I do well!) I also want to have people around me who challenge me to be more than I am. I want to have friends who will occasionally hit me with the truth...all the while checking to make sure I'm okay. And the truth is, I know if I should ever be in danger, these friends are the same ones who would join in the fight with me - physically or spiritually.

Yep, faithful are the wounds of a friend. Good news like that makes me want to look at my bruises and smile.

what's in the water?

Okay, this one has been on my mind for a couple of days now. It's based on a scripture that, for lack of a better word picture, keeps "bubbling up" inside me.

"Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil." - Proverbs 4:23-27

When I first started thinking about this verse, I kept getting a picture of people throwing trash into my wellspring! Oh, let's be honest...I've been tossing some of it in there myself! Then I wonder, why is my heart sick...good grief - just look at what I've been drinking! Some of the garbage is found in the form of television...mostly fluff. Some is wasted time, some is just allowing life to toss its refuse my way. That's the garbage that's easy to clear out. A few swipes and it's gone. Some garbage, however, is much more toxic and difficult to remove. That kind of garbage comes for me, in the form of failure, fear and dread. There's been a lot of toxic waste to choose from lately. Some is wrapped up in the election, some is wrapped up in the news, some isn't even wrapped...it comes special delivery and dives right in! I find that I not only partake of this stuff, but I spill over onto my family and everyone around me! Surely I'm not the only one who has barrels of toxic waste waiting to bob to the surface with each passing wave!

I've decided that I'm taking a stand. (Gee, that's scary to write!) I'm choosing to guard my heart. I may have to consciously block some garbage that wants to come my way, and I may have to reach in and clear out some refuse that drifts in, but I'm going to keep this spring clear. I don't want to look into my life and see some polluted river with dead floating fish and green slime that looks like it could crawl out of the water and eat me! I don't want my wellspring to look like some sort of Ganges river filled with the ashes of dead dreams and false gods, (not to mention sacred cows!) I want a spring that bubbles and is clear and fresh and cool....one that sustains life and hope.

Yes, I know things look bad, but I'm also going to keep my eyes focused straight ahead...directly before me. (That's the second part of that verse that I'd forgotten until I looked it up!) It's a funny thing, whatever you focus on, you tend to veer in that direction. When I'm running, if I focus straight ahead and lift my head, I do much better. I feel better and I have hope that the goal is within reach. When I drop my head, the race becomes difficult...it's much easier to quit. If I look in either direction, I find my steps are following my gaze. I have to ask myself, am I looking down at myself, outward to the problem, or am I focused on the goal?

Whether we look at what is happening in our lives as garbage that tries to muddy the waters, or as something that tries to distract us to look its way, either way we must guard our hearts. We can not simply drift along and go with the flow...as tempting as that may be. It is time to set our eyes on the goal - the One who is the Author and finisher of our faith. Guard our heart so that out of it may come clean waters for the thirsty soul.

I plan on reminding myself of this the next time I buy groceries and the bill is so staggering it makes me ill. I will remind myself of this when my children act like, well, children. I will remind myself of this when life becomes so daily that I find myself not living for the moment but waiting for the someday. I will guard my heart, fix my eyes on the goal and travel on. Care to join me?

What Krav has taught me about the Christian walk..

This could be a rather long post, so you might want to get a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable...that is if you decide to read on.

As my aching muscles were recovering from a recent Krav workout and I was trying to convince myself I needed to go for a run to build endurance, I had one of those 'Random thoughts' that usually leads to these blogs. During those moments of trying to get one foot in front of the other, I realized I could find a lot of parallels between Krav and my Christian walk.

For those who are not aware of what Krav Maga is, it is a form of self defense. It works off using moves that come somewhat naturally and trains you to use them in the most effective way - I say Krav teaches you how to go home alive. My instructors usually call the moves our "tools" that we have in our "toolbox". That is where the parallels begin.

Krav takes what comes naturally and uses it. In life, when we are struck by an attack from the enemy, we will usually do what comes naturally. We will use what we know how to do. If, in Krav, I only know one move, I will use that move over and over trying to get away. It might not be the best move, but of course it's better than none! It would be better if I knew a number of moves with which to defend myself, but in the midst of battle is not the time to try and learn a new move! The same can be said of spiritual battles. If all I have in my "toolbox" are a few scriptures, I will use those over and over again. They may not be the best for this particular battle, but they are better than nothing! When I am in the midst of battle won't be the best time to try to learn new scriptures either. I've got to use what I know. The time to learn how to use my weapons isn't in the midst of battle, it's long before an attack ever comes. Those scriptures, just like my Krav moves, have got to become second nature to me. They have to be a part of who I am.

Krav also works best if you are in good shape to begin with. It doesn't rely on strength so much as quickness and endurance. I get more out of my workouts and training if I do a little maintenance and endurance training in between sessions. There is reasoning behind this. If I should ever be in a situation where I find myself attacked, a quick tap on the nose probably isn't going to deter my attacker. I won't be playing, I very well might be fighting for my life and that tap will only serve to anger them more. I have to know that should an attack come, I am ready to fight until I can go home....alive. I don't know how long I will have to fight. Hopefully my first defense will be sufficient, but if it is not I am ready to continue on. The spiritual connection to this is pretty obvious. The devil isn't going to attack and when I use one scripture simply say, "Oh well, she is prepared, let's go home." My enemy seeks to kill and destroy...I have to be able to stand no matter what. I have to be ready to fight until the battle is won. That comes from spending time DAILY with the Lord and in His Word. I have to build myself up in faith so that in the time of testing, I can stand.

Another parallel I've found is that during my Krav workouts, the areas I'm weakest are the hardest to convince myself to do. I HATE push-ups, mainly because my upper body is weak. I LOVE the kicks because my lower body is strong. I can use what I'm good at, but at times I have to be ready to use what I'm weaker in as well. My adversary won't always attack where I am strongest. I have to recognize my areas of weakness and work to build those up as well...even if it's difficult and I don't like it.

Of course, as with any martial arts, Krav trains that you don't go out looking for a fight. I am however ready should I ever find myself under attack. While I make it a practice to walk around aware of my surroundings and steer clear of things that put me into unnecessary danger, I also know that I can walk without fear. I am able to go into situations knowing that if I had to, I could protect myself. More importantly, I can protect those that I love. While I don't go out looking for a fight, should anyone ever harm one of my children or the children left in my care, they will definitely have a MAJOR fight on their hands. One of the drills we do has to do with fighting off one attacker and then chasing down another one. Why would I ever do that? Why to protect my child of course. I'm not in this just for myself. I'm fighting for those I love as well. (I hope you are finding the spiritual connections in all this even if I don't spell it out. When the devil attacks me, I get mad. When he attacks my family, I attack back and will not give up until they are free. I'm sure parents can identify with these sentiments.)

Finally, in Krav I train best when I have people of like strength...or those who are stronger than me. To push myself to where I need to be, I have to have someone who will challenge me to push on. In my Christian faith, I need the same thing. I need people who will help me sharpen my sword, as iron sharpens iron. I need to be challenged at times to make sure I can use my weapon should I need to. At times, I help others who are just learning or who don't yet have the endurance. I'm glad to do that. However, to push myself to what I need, it is important to surround myself during times of training with those who make me reach down deep and find strength I did not know I had. One of the reasons I feel that I could possibly survive an attack physically is that I have had training partners who pushed me to the point where I felt the "overdrive" kick in. They also helped me identify my areas of weakness so that I could grow.

I hope I never have to defend myself or my family against an attacker. I may go home to be with God NEVER having to physically fight. With spiritual matters however, I know I won't have that luxury. I fight an enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy my life...and that of my family. The moment I forget that enemy is real, I let my guard down and become vulnerable. That enemy is real, but my God is much more real. He has given me weapons of warfare; my job is to know how to use them.

Having said all that, it's time to go our for some endurance training...a run and some time spent in prayer.

even if no one notices

This one will be short.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of helping with the Labor Your Legs Race with the Pine Belt Pacers. As I was setting up to be a course monitor, I noticed a small patch of white flowers growing alongside the road underneath my feet. Since I had a few minutes waiting on the first runners, I stooped down to take a closer look.

There were quite a few of these delicate little flowers, all in full bloom. No one probably ever notices them...they are so small and close to the ground. That didn't matter. They bloomed anyway. After all, they weren't necessarily blooming for someone else anyway. They were blooming because God had created them to.

Now I know I am using personification, but it made me think of the verse in the Bible that talks about "consider the lilies". Well, I am considering the wildflowers. They may be small, not nearly as spectacular as a rose or some other more noticeable flower, but they bloom just the same. They brighten the small area where they are. I was fortunate enough to be there to see them, but they weren't blooming for me. They bloomed simply "as unto the Lord."

Would that I could live my Christian life this way. Caring not for recognition, but "blooming" where I am as unto the Lord. Maybe I will be noticed, maybe not. I, like many others, wish I could be great at SOMETHING. I run, but I'm not really that fast. I write, but only a blog that very few will ever read or care about. I fail on a regular basis as a wife and mother. I teach, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for "Teacher of the Year" award. Let's be honest, I'm never going to be the greatest at anything....except being me. But really, that's all I've ever needed to be.

It would be so amazing to be considered the best at something, but maybe that's not my destiny. Maybe my life will consist simply of "blooming", even if no one notices. I live for the day when I can hear my Savior say, "Well done." Come to think of it, maybe that one little flower was also blooming for me. Perhaps, that's a part of the plan. We are to "bloom" as unto the Lord, then when the time is right, someone will see...and a life will be changed. Lord, help me to live my life as unto You...simply because that's what You created me to do.

Is the Christian life routine?

Okay, it's been quite a while since I've blogged. The muse just hasn't been stirring! I sensed that was about to change however when in service last week, I had one of those "random thoughts."

The sermon was about the Kingdom of God and how the Kingdom is Righteousness, Peace, and Joy. I had heard sermons about keeping your peace and joy, but when Pastor began to talk about walking in Righteousness, the wheels began to turn. Let me begin by stating that by Righteousness, I'm not referring to some set of rules and regulations. I'm talking about walking in obedience to the voice of God as He leads you. We know that when we are saved, we receive the Robe of Righteousness, but walking in Righteousness has more to do with following God on a daily basis....walking WITH Him as it were.

Anyway, as I remember, Pastor was talking about how we as Christians sometimes get to a point of obeying God about something, and because we either are unwilling to submit or we just sort of "put off obeying", we get off the "path of righteousness" and take a detour. We're no longer heading in the direction we thought we were, but instead we're going around in circles. It's much like what the children of Israel did in the desert...circled around the mountain. We eventually come back to that "lesson" or "place of decision" where we are once again presented with the option of obeying or "making another round." I had heard this before...but somehow this time I "heard" a different part.

As Pastor illustrated his point by walking in that circle, it occured to me...that's when the Christian life gets "dull". I've heard it before..."the fire is gone, I feel like I'm not growing, this life has become routine." To be honest, I've felt it myself. So what happened? I got off the path and started walking in circles. It's no wonder it felt dull. The scenery wasn't changing much because I was simply walking in circles, covering the same ground I'd gone over so many times before....much like running around the track over and over again. Of course it would be dull!

However, if I am walking in the path of righteousness that God has mapped out for me, well that is anything BUT dull! Each day can be a new adventure because God has planned something for me to learn, a life for me to touch, or simply a day of rest in Him. I love that song by the Newsboys..."Wherever we go, that's where the party's at!" That song strikes a chord in me (pardon the pun) that reminds me that wherever I go, I'm supposed to make a difference. Why? Because wherever I go, I take Jesus...whether I realize it or not! But that's a whole different blog!

So what's the point? I guess it boils down to this....if you think the Christian life is dull, perhaps it's time to stop and ask yourself if you've moved off the path of Righteousness. I know I'm going to keep a close eye on myself...just in case I start thinking life is getting too routine.

Me and my big mouth

Okay, I did it again. I opened my mouth and inserted my foot. Those that know me well figure this is just a part of the daily routine of being my friend. I've even had someone tell another person, "Don't take offense, she didn't mean anything by that. You've got to know her - there is no malice in her words." (Okay, so maybe they didn't use the word malice, but the overall meaning was that there wasn't a mean bone in my body....or maybe they meant there wasn't a thought in my head, I'm not sure which.) And to tell the truth, I DON'T mean offense! Most of the time I'm just looking for ways to make people laugh and enjoy life a little more. As for when I DO have an opinion, I know some people don't particularly agree with it, but I'm really okay with that. Especially if it pertains to something I really feel strongly about. My past blogs probably show evidence of that.

The problem is, ever since this election came up I feel like I'm walking on eggshells about every conversation! It's as if everyone is choosing sides! To be honest, my candidates never even seem to get this far in the process. Most were gone very early in the process! It's almost as if my support for someone is the kiss of death! (That really should encourage anyone who disagrees with me on who to support!)

Now in writing this, some will probably wonder how I could NOT support their candidate. It's simple - I don't know who to believe anymore. I don't know either candidate personally. I'm not sure I know what they believe about anything - I get my information from others (sometimes laughing referred to as "news sources"). I know I don't agree with some things about either candidate - but as to date, no one has called and asked my opinion. They don't really care. To be sure, they want my vote - but not necessarily what I think about things. My husband has a saying, "They didn't ask me." My daughter's response was, "Face it Daddy, they're never going to ask you."

I said all that to say this, if I offend you with any comment I may or may not make about your favorite candidate - please forgive me. I'm thankful I live in a country where I CAN have an opinion. I will probably say something stupid again very soon; some things are just a given. I apologize ahead of time. As for the things I blog about - well, hardly anyone reads those anyway. But, if you should and are offended by what I write, I'm okay with that. The things I cover in my blog, I feel pretty strongly about. That doesn't necessarily make me right, but it is what I BELIEVE.

When it comes to the election and the candidates, I BELIEVE I'll try and keep my mouth shut on them till after November and then I will open it only in support of our president and in prayer that he may be lead by God in all that he does. (If Hillary had gone all the way to the White House, that prayer would have been that SHE might be lead by God in all that SHE does.) I don't pretend to know anything about politics, but I do know these are perilous times we live in...may God lead each of us to do what He has created us to do....and if that should be president for some of you someday - don't forget to ask my husband about things.....he could really use the laugh.