Walking backwards...

I looked up at the clock and realized it was time for my students to return from activity...which meant I needed to step outside my room and make sure they weren't getting "lost" as they walked down the hall. I looked down at the sea of hormones in tennis shoes making their way toward me and that's when I saw him. That familiar blue jacket of one our students. He was at the front, moving my way - backwards. Deep in conversation, he was oblivious to the fact that he was headed directly into the watchful gaze of a teacher...

I called out to him. "Hey, buddy. God made your eyes and your feet face in the same direction for a reason - so you could watch where you are going!"

We both laughed and he turned around as I just shook my head in amazement of these silly kids.

I didn't really think about it again...that is until I was reading the book, God Loves Broken People by Sheila Walsh. 

At the end of the first chapter, this passage jumped out at me. "God says to you and me, "It's time for something new in your life. I open up new roads before you. I want to fill the desert of your soul with living water and satisfy your thirst with heaven's swift, cool brooks. Don't dwell on the past, and refuse to camp in the tragedies of your history or family background. Leave it all behind! And then come to Me, for I have something brand-new in mind for you.
So with one hand firmly gripping the Word of God, and the other hand reaching for the fresh future God is busily at work preparing for us, let us walk together on this journey into God's best..."

As I read this, my young blue-jacketed friend flashed back into my mind.

I had to wonder if I am doing just like my little friend. Am I walking backward, looking at the mistakes and regrets of my past and forgetting to look forward to where God is leading?

Keep in mind, I am almost 54 years old - there's a whole lot of "past" I could focus on...and realistically, not QUITE as much future. But I'm supposed to focus FORWARD?

For some reason, all this brought a verse to mind. 
Acts 2:17 -“In the Last Days,” God says,
“I will pour out my Spirit on every kind of people:
Your sons will prophesy,  also your daughters;
Your young men will see visions,  your old men dream dreams."

Dream dreams? You mean God wants to give dreams to us "old guys" too? Dreams of what the future will bring? I mean, aren't we too old for dreams? When we were young we had lots of dreams, but our dreams never really came true. Instead we got reality. Is it possible that our dreams were for a time yet to come?

Like my crazy random thoughts are known to do, they wandered back to a church service years ago. I sat on the second row and listened as the missionary Jewell Matheny spoke. She told of when she was younger and knew she had a call from God, yet there were babies that needed her. How was she supposed to serve when she was up to her elbows in dirty diapers and runny noses? She cried out to God - when would her time come?

Those who know this wonderful family know that Jewell Matheny DID do some amazing things. First she raised a family that loves and serves God and she served alongside her husband as a pastor's wife and as a missionary. Then, after her husband's death, when many would think of retiring, God gave her a dream. She followed that dream and is now known as Mama Jewell to so many in Africa. As one African pastor said, "Africa will never be the same thanks to Mama Matheny!" 

The point of all this? God has a plan for each of us. It's not just for the young...but even for the "old" - we can still dream dreams. We've got to stop walking backward and looking at the past. God made our feet and our eyes point in the same direction for a reason...so we can watch where we are going. And as long as we are going with God - the journey is for a hope and a future.

"Never let your memories be greater than your dreams." - Doug Ivester

*Note: Today when I got to school, I was looking forward to finding my little blue-jacketed friend so that I could give him a hug...only to discover yesterday was his last day. He had moved. I was almost overwhelmed to the point of tears when I realized that God had "put a spotlight" on my young friend so that I could see....and not forget to pray as he moves forward into what God has prepared for him.

Some of you already know, I am planning to go on a mission trip to Cambodia this March. Not sure all that God has planned - but I'm working on moving forward....into whatever God has planned. I would love it if you could visit my site and learn more! To-Cambodia-And-Back

Tuning in and tuning out...

I admit it. I cannot run without music. I know....some say that means I am not a real runner. Whatever. I just know that without it all I can focus on is how hard I'm breathing, and how I evidently have a slight limp in one leg...going from my cadence.

For example, on New Year's Day I did a 12K and things were going fine until my music quit on me. I was using the "cloud" and since it was such a cloudy day, evidently my "cloud" couldn't make it through the atmosphere's clouds. Neither could pandora or iheart. I only had my thoughts of quitting and my pained breathing to listen to. Oh, and that uneven gait I mentioned. My focus was on me. So yuck.

Yesterday I decided to go for a 45 minute run, something my coach friend suggested to me years ago. I wasn't focused on pace per mile, just on running continuously for 45 minutes. I definitely made sure I had music this time - my trusty old ipod thingy. (It's not a real ipod. It's old and it plays music and that's all I cared about.)

At first it was painful. In the middle it was painful. Let's be honest. It stayed pretty much 'mind over matter' the whole way. You know that runner's high they talk about. Never did find it. But still I ran. One foot in front of the other. Step by step with the music helping me along. (By the way, this past week I participated in an experiment for a science fair project as to whether what you listen to matters when it comes to your speed in running. I discovered that I ran faster when I had at least something to listen to besides my own breathing and a good 15 seconds faster per quarter mile when I listened to music with an upbeat tempo.)

Don't ever let anyone tell you that what is playing in your mind doesn't make a difference. It does! While my music was simply "background," it helped me focus on something other than "me." 

At one point in the run, I noticed a twinge in my knee. Nothing painful, just aware that the muscle seemed to be tightening. Note to self: Check on that. Do some strength training exercises for that muscle group and check shoes. Perhaps they are worn past their running days. But since I had my music to help me along, my thoughts did not stay there on that 'twinge'.

Mostly I prayed and "talked to God" about some things I am dealing with and an upcoming missions trip to Cambodia. The thing is, while I was out there just pounding the pavement, I was tuning in. I could feel that "twinge" or nudge in my heart leading me to answers. All the while, my background music played and helped keep me moving forward.

I have to wonder, what if the music that was playing in the background had been something other than music that glorified God? Would my thoughts have been able to break through the noise. Would they focused more on the problem than the One who is the solution? I don't know - but to be honest I'm not willing to test the theory. My runs have become a time when I can sort out my thoughts and really examine what I am thinking....and to turn them over to my Heavenly Father.

So what is the point of this post?  I guess it's simply to remind myself to check out what my "background" music is. Am I listening to others talk about the problems or am I making sure that I fill your life with the sounds of those who focus on the solution? Some days, I do a little of both. Some days I can't get my mind off the labored sound of my own breathing and my slightly off-tempo spiritual gait. In other words - I can't seem to get my focus off me. Other days I manage to drown out the sounds of myself and am able to focus on something a lot higher.

I've got a long way to go to make sure I stay tuned in to the right things. I fail a lot, just ask those around me. But I am trying...honest I am. I may not have a choice as to what is going on in the world, but I can choose whose report I listen to. I choose to listen to and believe the report that "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world." 

Today in a devotional blog I subscribe to, Girlfriends in God, I saw a wonderful idea for helping keep my thoughts in check. "Put a rubber band on your wrist and wear it like a bracelet. Every time you complain, grumble, or simply talk negatively about anything and anyone, pop the rubber band. That's right, pull it out and let it pop your wrist.

If you really want to see how much you grumble, get a girlfriend or family member to do it with you. Agree to tell each other, "Girlfriend, you need to pop that wrist." Sometimes we all need a little help from our friends." I think I may add that when I find myself THINKING negative thoughts, I will give a little "pop" as well. Let's just hope I don't lose my wrist before lunch!

By the way. To find out more about my upcoming trip to Cambodia, you can check out my link at To Cambodia and Back. I will be going to work with the Hard Places ministry there as they reach out to the children. I don't pretend to know all that God has planned, but I know He has laid it on my heart to go into a very dark place and simply shine the light He has placed in me. And let me just say, your donations and PRAYERS ARE APPRECIATED!!!

1 John 4: 4-6
^4-6 My dear children, you come from God and belong to God. You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world. These people belong to the Christ-denying world. They talk the world’s language and the world eats it up. But we come from God and belong to God. Anyone who knows God understands us and listens. The person who has nothing to do with God will, of course, not listen to us. This is another test for telling the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of deception.

Romans 8:31-39

^31-39 So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. (Notice it doesn't say it won't be tough...just that no matter what we have the assurance that God will not leave us to fight alone!)

Move...what I've learned so far

For those of you who read my blog, you already know that the word "Move" is my word for 2013. (Go here to read that blog.)  I've done pretty good so far at keeping my promise to myself to move each day...even posted pictures on facebook to keep myself accountable and found a partner in crime. Even though the year is only 5 days old, I've decided to share what I have learned so far about my "one word"...in the order of occurrence.

#1- While it is important to stop putting things off and "get a move on," it is equally important to watch where you're going! (As evidenced by the picture today.) While putting away the Christmas decorations, I discovered that we had neglected our attic for way too long and it needed some maintenance. No time like the present...I was on the move and I started right in to tackle some of the problem. It was then that I discovered a part of the attic floor that was NOT reinforced and my foot proceeded to enter the pantry by way of the ceiling. Lesson learned. Don't MOVE fool-heartedly, but with eyes wide open, aware of what is going on!

#2 - This one came to me while looking at some Bible verses this morning, specifically Acts 17:28a - "In Him we live and move and have our being." Those of you who remember the song that came from that verse may remember the next part is "Make a joyful noise, sing unto the Lord, tell Him of your love, dance before Him.... Couple that with something I read yesterday about how each of us is "called" no matter what our line of work and you have today's main "random thought." No matter what I am doing, I need to be doing it as worship unto Him! Teaching that class I dread - worship unto Him. Taking that test I'm afraid of - worship unto Him. Dealing with that "difficult person" that crosses my path - worship unto Him. Even cleaning up that overstuffed attic - WORSHIP UNTO HIM! What a difference this makes in even the smallest or most dreaded things! 

#3 - Okay - I had to think about this one. Since I believe good things come in threes, I wanted to find a third point. I said a simple short prayer and asked - what is point 3? This thought came to mind. No matter where I move, no matter what I encounter along the way, no matter what 2013 may bring, God has already been there and has made a way for me. (Okay, right now I get a picture of God and Jesus and all the angels laughing at me putting my foot through the ceiling...wonder if He hits rewind and watches it again just to get a laugh?) Well, no matter what comes my way, as unexpected as it seems to me, God is already way ahead of me and He's got it under control.

So, how is your 2013 and your one word revealing itself to you? Don't have a word yet? It's not too late! Let God show you that one special word for the year and watch at how He reveals Himself in it. Happy "moving" my friends!

2012 in Review

I was just reading one of the blogs that I follow, At Home With Kim (http://www.athomewithkim.com) and discovered a wonderful idea. She took a look back at the year through her blogs. What a neat idea, so like any good teacher, when I see a good idea I steal - I mean BORROW it!

The idea is to pick one blog from each month of the past year. Some are my favorites, others seemed by the number of comments, to be reader favorites. In it all, it's been a wonderful year.



January - As usual, it started with One word 

February - I undertook reading the Bible through chronologically (which I did not complete) and discovered that Reading the Bible was messing with my theology

March brought battles with blood sugar and some personal challenges. In the midst of it all, some favorite blogs came back to mind: Broken Crayons and Wake up Sleepy-head!

  

April was really fun and I celebrated my 53 birthday and experienced my first Warrior Dash

May means the end of another school year and my daughter's prom and graduation...Never once... did I expect to be so blessed.

June brought lots of classes for me as I returned to school. It also brought thoughts on Raising Kids and Haircuts

July...well, my favorite from July was actually a repost: So you had a bad day...

August brought a hurricane expected to hit on the anniversary of Katrina...Seven years ago...

September - I must have been busy in September because writing slowed down and other than a couple of reposts, nothing stood out. In October, my husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Wow...seems like just yesterday we said "I do." Meanwhile, the rest of the nation was heating up for an election and in response, I posted three posts: The day after the election and The day after the election part 2 and even a part 3.

November brought my son getting his driver's permit, and a humorous thought: Nobody looks "fine" with a toilet in the background

and a resolution to get rid of some of the clutter in my life with

The New Year

a resolution I did NOT keep...still battling the clutter around here.

We finally came to the end of the year and FINALLY a Christmas that came with a revelation: Not enough at Christmas

and some much needed peace.

And now we are in January....it's been quite a year - of challenges and blessings. 

So how was your year? I challenge you to look back and realize, no matter what happened, just how blessed it has been.

One word....

For the past few years, instead of making a New Year's Resolution, I have instead chosen a "word" to focus on for that year. Each year has been different and I can't really explain why the words were chosen except that they seemed to "fit". 

The first year, my word was "Hope", the next year it was "Anticipation", and last year...well last year I cheated a little and chose two words - "Incredible Mercy." Each year, these words have proven to exemplify what I was going through that year and truly be what my year was all about. (Hmmm, makes me want to go back and look at all the pictures from this year and remind myself of just how merciful God has been to me this past year...but that's a blog for another day.)

This year however, as Christmas drew closer, I realized I had nothing. Seriously nothing. I looked forward into 2013 and felt nothing at all. Usually I am so excited about the new year, but this one seemed just blank. So, I prayed. You know, you have to be careful when you pray...God has a tendency to answer! Within a couple of days, I had my word. "Move."

I wondered if that could seriously be my word for 2013. I mean, it doesn't sound very spiritual; but the more I mulled over it, the more certain I became that it was my word for the year. At first, I thought of all the ways I could live out this word. Getting up and turning off the tv definitely came to mind. Taking the time to exercise each day was another option worth considering...but I knew this word had to have a spiritual side that I wasn't quite getting.

I did a search and these are a few of the verses that came up associated with that one simple word - move.

Isaiah 43:18-19
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” 

I love this verse! It was one I worked on memorizing last year on New Year's Day! While it doesn't say the word "move", it's all about moving!

Check out this one from Philippians:
Philippians 3:12-14
Pressing Toward the Goal
“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Finally, there's this one from Isaiah:
Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

While all these verses are about moving forward, there was more. There was the feeling that it is time to move spiritually. Like God is setting the stage and now is the time to move.

Two of the more interesting verses about moving that I found were from Exodus 14:15-16 and they follow one of the most well known verses about NOT moving! 

Exodus 14:13-16
Moses spoke to the people: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work of salvation for you today. Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you’re never going to see them again.

¹⁴ God will fight the battle for you.
    And you? You keep your mouths shut!”

^15-16 God said to Moses: “Why cry out to me? Speak to the Israelites. Order them to get moving. Hold your staff high and stretch your hand out over the sea: Split the sea! The Israelites will walk through the sea on dry ground.

I have a feeling that this will be a year of amazing things in God. I'm not sure what it will include...so far for me it looks like it will include a mission trip to Cambodia and Vietnam, perhaps a career change from classroom teacher to administration, and....and....and I have no idea what else! But I do know it will be an incredible adventure.

So...what will your "one word" for 2013 be? 

For help choosing your word, you can check out this site: http://myoneword.org/

On a much lighter note, to begin my year on "the right foot" and move, I am trying a one hundred day challenge to exercise each day for the next 100 days. I'm posting a picture on facebook to keep me "moving" in the right direction.

Not enough at Christmas....

Want to know a secret? I have trouble with Christmas....

Don't get me wrong....I love Christmas, or at least I want to. I get excited around Thanksgiving to put up the tree, and I start humming along with Christmas carols on the radio WAY too early for those around me. I love what Christmas means, and I love so much about the day - but about two weeks before the big day, my mood takes a definite turn south and no amount of hot chocolate or feel-good movies seem to help...not even if the hot chocolate has marshmallows.

The other day was especially difficult. The "Christmas funk" hit earlier than normal and I just sat in my chair over my morning coffee and cried. Not soft tears either - big, fat, ugly red eyed tears....for no good reason. Then, I did the only thing I could do - I finished my coffee, wiped my face and got into the shower to get ready for work. No time for sorrow. There was much to be done. Besides, I had no reason to be sad. I reminded myself that I am truly blessed. (I will admit, this stern talking to did nothing to improve my mood, but it did get me to work on time.)

Then, the very next day, I happened to see a post from a friend on facebook talking about the sadness some people feel this time of year and I went out on a limb and admitted that for no good reason, I sometimes struggle with Christmas. (Who am I kidding - sometimes? It's become a yearly event!) Then someone commented and asked a simple question - "Why?" I surprised myself that I knew the answer and that it was as simple as the question. I struggle because at Christmas, more than any other time of the year, I realize just how much I fail and how woefully inadequate I am.

Now before you think, "Wow, Donna is really having herself a pity party!", hear me out. This is not some false humility or plea for affirmation. It is actually a very practical reality. I am not enough. None of us is, and at Christmas, God said "I know," and sent His Son to be more than enough for us.

This is a tough pill to swallow for someone who takes pride in doing things herself. I take personal responsibility to make sure the things around me run as smoothly as possible. I try so hard to make everybody "happy" - but sometimes I hit the wall and realize, I just am not enough. Not strong enough, rich enough, wise enough, patient enough....need I go on?

Now that I think about it, maybe the tears I shed over my coffee that morning were actually a gift. I have been given the gift of realizing I simply am not enough. At Christmas I feel this most keenly, and perhaps that is because it helps me come back to the place where I truly realize, I need a Savior.

Christmas might be the most wonderful time of year for you, or perhaps, like me, it is a time when you meet face to face your inadequacies. Maybe Christmas is filled with the perfect gifts and decorations and celebrations, or maybe despite your best efforts, it's filled with unmet expectations and broken dreams. If it seems to be more of the latter, I guess we can stop and give thanks. For when we are weakest, His strength shows forth most clearly. We are not enough....so God sent His Son.

Merry Christmas my friends. Merry Christmas.

Isaiah 9:6-7 (NKJV)
6 For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

Why a stable?

This is a repeat of a post from December 2008....but since it is one of my all-time favorite "Random thoughts", I'm sharing it again.

The following "random thought" actually came to me while teaching in Kid's Church one Sunday just before Christmas. I don't think I've ever heard this before....in fact, I had never thought of it before the words began to come out of my mouth that Sunday morning.

It was a typical Children's Church service a week or two before Christmas. I had a wonderful group of kids, most of whom I had known since they were born. These children knew the Christmas story quite well, so making it real and new was quite a challenge. I had told the story and tried to paint a picture so that the children could experience the story anew. It was then that I asked the question - "Why was Jesus born in a stable?" 

Of course, the response was "Because there was no room in the inn." Then I asked a question even I hadn't considered before. "Why wasn't there room at the inn? Did God forget to make reservations?" Of course, we all laughed at such a ridiculous question. Obviously the birth of Jesus being in a stable was no accident....but why would God allow His Son to be born in a stable?

It's not like God didn't know when Jesus would be born. Yes, the city was crowded, but couldn't God have made room for this family in an inn somewhere? After all, He's God! He knew when the angel told Mary she'd have a son that they would be making this trip 9 months later! He could have made arrangements! I understand that there are many different views as to what this stable might have been, but it doesn't change the fact that a stable isn't a place for a baby to be born! That's where animals are born....animals like sheep. The kind of animal you'd use for a sacrifice. In fact, it has been asserted that it was specifically the place ewes were safely brought to give birth to the lambs. In this sheltered building/cave the priests would bring in the ewes which were about to lamb for protection.

You know, every time I think about that, it causes a lump to rise in my throat. Jesus, the King of Kings was born in a place where sacrifices are born. Wrapped in swaddling cloths, much like the lambs were to protect them from injury. 

He was born in Bethlehem, at the birthing place of the sacrificial lambs that were offered in the Temple in Jerusalem.

 Jesus - born as a sacrifice.

This Christmas, as you take time to read the original Christmas story, may your heart be filled with the knowledge of God's love for you. There is so much more to the "story" than we even know. Merry Christmas.

John 1:29 "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"

For an interesting read, check out the article at the following link -  (http://bible-truth.org/BirthPlaceofJesus.html). It has much more information on this topic than I knew when I wrote the blog!