Raising Kids and Haircuts....

This morning I got up and had one of those "bad hair days" you always hear about. I actually have very few "good hair days" since I was born an almost bald baby, and while I did eventually grow hair, it was never like the stuff you see in those shampoo commercials.

I have battled with my hair for years, and only recently found someone who consistently manages to cover my unruly cow-licks. I have a double swirl in the back that unless my hair is cut correctly will go off in its own direction thereby making me look like I'm going back to my newborn bald days!

Well, today I was battling my cow-licks once again. (Even with a good haircut, they sometimes make their presence known.) It was then that the "Random Thought" hit me. Raising kids is a lot like dealing with hair.

The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) A lot of people think that only means teaching your children about God so that they will follow the Lord, and that is a part of the picture. I think, however, sometimes we miss a very important part of the verse..."in the way that he should go." The trick is in finding the way that he should go, as opposed to the waywe think they should go.

Children can be a lot like hair - they come with a natural "bent" that requires training, but it's also a bent that is a part of who God created them to be. Just like hair, they come in all different kinds, the trick is in not working against the way they were created, but with it.

It seems we always compare ourselves to others and try to go in the direction they should go! For example, when my son was in 6th grade, he decided he wanted his hair to be like his best friend. He wanted his hair to be board straight and long...and blond. The problem with this was, my son's hair is jet black, thick and curly. Still, he was determined to have hair like his friend. He would stand in front of the mirror for hours after shampooing his hair, trying desperately to smooth it down. The result would look okay for a little while, but as the day progressed, his hair would dry and start to revert back to its "natural bent" and puff out. He continued to smooth the top throughout the day with his hands, The results were that by the end of the day, he looked like a mushroom. Smooth on top and puffed on bottom. Yeah...it was quite a sight to behold. He walked around with a constant frown on his face. He became a giant frowning mushroom.

Finally in the summer between 6th and 7th, my son decided he wanted his hair cut short. Oh my - what a transformation! He looked so handsome! Gone was the constant "smoothing" and fidgeting with his hair.  He walked with new confidence and finally his smile returned. He was no longer fighting an impossible battle. He was finally becoming who he was created to be!

I am learning that with my children, I'm sometimes guilty of trying to "smooth them" into the image I see in other people's children...and they just aren't "bent" that way! I try to get their walk with the Lord to look like my own (forgetting how difficult and rocky that "walk" has sometimes been!) But they aren't me. They are unique and their walk with God will be uniquely their own. I've got to find the way to work WITH their natural gifts and help them find the way that THEY should go. As I help them grow in their own walk with the Lord, which probably won't look like my own, they will discover a faith that they can hold to for the rest of their days....and not depart from it.

I have to chuckle because as I sit here and type this, my daughter is working to straighten her own hair and she just said, "Mom, I wish I had hair like yours. This is so hard." I guess we always think someone else has an easier path to walk in this journey. (Honestly - I wish I had hair like hers and I absolutely LOVE her tight spiral curls!)

Yep, raising kids to follow God is a lot like working with hair....there will be "good days" and "bad days," but when you realize you've got just the "hair" you were meant to have, (and they were placed where they were meant to be with,) things get a lot easier. It's all about learning to work with the natural bent God intended....and sometimes wearing a hat.

*Repost from 2011

but I want to run....

Today I went for a walk, just a walk. I started not to go at all since my knee is really giving me some problems right now and I knew a run was NOT going to happen. Still, the pull of being able to spend some time with God outside was stronger than the urge to just go on with my day, so I laced up my shoes and made my way out the door. 

I hadn't gone 100 feet when I saw a HUGE pit bull staring at me. I almost went back inside, but decided to keep going when the dog was obviously more afraid of me than I was of him - he turned and went the other direction. I made my way cautiously down the street and my mind started to process - that was the dog that lived around the corner. He was a friendly enough dog and I bet they didn't know he was out. Sure enough, as I turned the corner, I saw him in their drive. He ran again when he saw me so I made my way to his owner's door and rang the bell. Sorry for waking you on a Saturday but your dog is out. She seemed appreciative as she rubbed her eyes and turned to let her husband know he had to go round up the dog. Mission accomplished, now on with my walk.

As I meandered along, okay - I was walking at a fast enough pace...it's hard to break the old mindset of needing to cover the course as quickly as possible, I noticed all the flowers that were in bloom. I paused to take "artsy" pictures - hey, what good is a camera phone if you can't use it! As I paused to take one picture, I heard a voice saying something. I pulled out the one earphone I had in and turned to see who was talking. Another neighbor who was sitting outside enjoying the morning shouted, "Aren't they pretty!" I nodded and waved and kept moving forward, noticing some beautiful yellow roses to take pictures of. I made my way to the end of the road and turned around. As I passed the lady's house I asked, "Would you like to see the yellow roses I just took a picture of?" We both ooo'd and ahhh'd over the beauty in those flowers and then I went along my way. 

I passed another person who I've seen out walking a number of times and we waved and said good morning...then I came to my favorite yard in the neighborhood. No, no flowers in this one but a very friendly black lab that loves to "race" with me along his fence...that is when the other dog isn't there. The blond lab doesn't like me being friends with the black one. Hooray! Today the blond dog wasn't out! My friend and I "raced" up and down the fence row about 10 or 12 times and then my knee was screaming at me it was time to stop so I waved goodbye and made my way toward home. 

After a couple more blocks, my path intersected with the other neighbor who was out walking, and this time we were headed in the same direction for a few blocks so I got the chance to meet her with more than just a "Hi." Turns out she used to be a runner but now she walks and is "thankful her knees allow it." I had thought she was about my age, but after talking a bit I suspect she might be older than me though she definitely didn't look it. It came time to turn toward my house and say goodbye, but I have a feeling I'll see her again along my route this summer and hopefully will have the chance to get to know her better. She seems like a really cool person!

Finally I reached my house and as I turned off my GPS, I realized I'd traveled a pretty good distance today, even if it did take me longer than normal...that's when I thought, "but I want to run..." Running is so much more impressive than walking. People love to drop "I'm a runner" into conversations but rarely do you hear someone say "I'm a walker." Walking is just so...ordinary, or at least I used to think so. After today, I'm not so sure. Let's see, today I talked with three neighbors - helped one of them get their dog back, shared a love of flowers with another and sort of got to know another...plus I made a lot of pictures of the beauty of God that surrounds me but often goes unnoticed. I don't think I ever do those things when I run...at least not as much.

That got me to thinking. I still covered the same ground, even though it wasn't as quickly as I'd have liked it to be. I'm that way with a lot of things in life. I want things to happen "quickly" and when they don't, I get discouraged. I tend to see obstacles as roadblocks instead of simply detours that will eventually get me where I need to be and might just contain some treasures along the journey. God's timing is never the same as mine but it's always MUCH MUCH better.

So for now, although I really WANT to be a runner, I think I'll find the joy of being a walker for a while...at least until my knee stops screaming. I'll still get the same amount of ground covered, even if my "time" isn't as impressive as I'd like it to be, I'm moving forward and learning to enjoy the journey.

Happy walking my friends.

Micah 6:8
He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

How do you fix a broken country?

*

No...this blog isn't going to be a tirade against current policies or government officials. There are no political statements hidden within...just in case Big Brother is watching. (Just kidding!) No, this blog is about something I noticed in my morning readings the other day and how it applies to us today...well, at least it applies to me.

A couple of days ago, I was reading the book of Nehemiah.  Actually I was reading just the first four chapters, and I noticed something that has been on my mind ever since. For those who aren't familiar with the book of Nehemiah, I highly encourage studying it! It is the story of how one man, under the direction of God, led the people to rebuild the city.

You see, Nehemiah was serving as cupbearer to the king and he was visited by someone from his hometown of Jerusalem. As anyone would do, he asked about how things were in his home town, and unfortunately the news wasn't good. "They told me, “The exile survivors who are left there in the province are in bad shape. Conditions are appalling. The wall of Jerusalem is still rubble; the city gates are still cinders.” (Nehemiah 1:3)

To make a long story short, Nehemiah asked for permission from the king to go back home and help repair the city. Amazingly, the king not only gave permission for the time off, but also gave him letters that instructed those in charge of the area to provide supplies for him to accomplish the task.

What caught my eye this time was in chapter 3. Now normally, I would have just done a sort of speed-reading over this chapter because it is a list of people and the jobs they did. I've never been really good at reading lists. This time, however, something stopped me. Read slower. Look at what each man did.

As I read, I noticed that chapter 3 is a list of people, just like you and me, who each took a part in rebuilding the wall. There are those who took on huge parts of the wall, a few who refused to get their hands dirty, and a couple that really surprised me. "Above the Horse Gate the priests worked, each priest repairing the wall in front of his own house. After them Zadok son of Immer rebuilt in front of his house and after him Shemaiah son of Shecaniah, the keeper of the East Gate; then Hananiah son of Shelemiah and Hanun, the sixth son of Zalaph; then Meshullam son of Berekiah rebuilt the wall in front of his storage shed." 

Did you notice it? Each priest repaired the wall in front of his own house. Then one guy, Meshullam, rebuilt the wall in front of his storage shed! Not what anyone would call super impressive. I mean, they only tackled the part of the wall right in front of their house - but it was important enough to get mentioned!

That's when it hit me. Here lies the answer to the problems we see in our own country. (Oh come on - no matter which party you follow, you have to admit we have some problems right now.) The answer doesn't lie in more government intervention; it lies in each man repairing the wall in front of his own house! As I looked at the passage, I wondered what did this mean for me? I mean, I'm just a school teacher. What can I do?

Really, it's about doing whatever God places in our path. By beginning where we are, we can repair the broken places in our country. We can do just what those people in Jerusalem did.

There was one other part of those chapters that really caught my attention. "13 The Valley Gate was rebuilt by Hanun and villagers of Zanoah; they repaired it, hung its doors, and installed its bolts and bars. They went on to repair 1,500 feet of the wall, as far as the Dung Gate.

14 The Dung Gate itself was rebuilt by Malkijah son of Recab, the mayor of the district of Beth Hakkerem; he repaired it, hung its doors, and installed its bolts and bars." Yes, the "Dung gate" is exactly what it sounds like it might be...it was the gate where they took the poop out of the city! Not exactly a pleasant job, but if you've ever lived in a city that has sewage issues, you know just how important it can be! Notice who did the job....the mayor of the district of Beth Hakkerem. Now, I don't know anything about Beth Hakkerem, but I was impressed that the MAYOR took on this job. He didn't see working on the Dung Gate as beneath him. It needed to be done by somebody and he was somebody!

I've just begun to dig into Nehemiah again, but so far I've definitely noticed some important lessons in those first few chapters on how do you go about fixing a broken country.

#1 - Everyone did what was before him. The people didn't wait for the government to swoop in and fix what was broken...not that the current government in that land would have been much help. The current government wasn't too excited about seeing the city repaired. The people saw what needed to be done, and they did it.

#2 - They faced opposition as they worked to rebuild the city. At first it was just jeering comments like "that wall will fall as soon as a fox jumps on it." In our vernacular, "that wall won't hold up to a kitten sitting on it." Then later the opposition became much more dangerous. Each man, and woman, had to work with a trowel in one hand and a sword in the other. Did I forget to mention that the list included women? Oh yeah, this process isn't just limited to the men! (11-12 Malkijah son of Harim and Hasshub son of Pahath-Moab rebuilt another section that included the Tower of Furnaces. Working next to him was Shallum son of Hallohesh, mayor of the other half-district of Jerusalem, along with his daughters.)

#3 - No job was too menial...not even for those in high position. If the mayor of a district can roll up his sleeves and fix the poop gate, who am I to think any job is too lowly for me?

Three simple lessons, all from the first four chapters. (Wonder what the rest of the book will hold?)

So, where does a person start? Well, it may be something as simple as what I am doing. As I go for my runs, I pray for the neighborhood and my city. That's as far as I've gotten so far....but at least it's a start. For some it might involve starting a neighborhood Bible study or reaching out to that new family on your block. 

How about it? Are you interested in helping to fix a broken country? It begins by rebuilding the wall that is right in front of you. Join me as we pick up our trowel, and our sword, and rebuild.

*Repost from a few years back...still seems to apply.

The harvest takes time...

I really wanted to find a poem that expressed how important teachers are. Oh, there is the “What do teachers make” speech, but I was looking for something more…

Do you realize you really do make a difference? I’m not talking about the naïve “I’m going to change the world, one child at a time” kind of sentiment we often hold when we first become teachers…I’m talking about the daily grind, getting your hands dirty, hard work difference that you don’t know about for years. A difference that most teachers never even know they have made.

Some of us who have been around for YEARS have had those moments, the ones where a former student comes back and actually says, “You were right,” or “Thank you for believing in me.” Honestly, even for us those moments are rare and as precious as any jewel known to man, but they are truly treasures.

Teachers are really farmers in a way. We have the opportunity to plant into these lives in front of us. Some of our students are big “fields”, some seem to be tiny “plots”; but all are gardens that truly belong to God.

We will weed, and water, and do our best to make sure they have what they need to mature, but rarely do we ever get to see the harvest. Some of the fields are filled with stones that have to be removed, some have briars that grab and stick as we try to remove them for the good of the garden…and the work seems to never end and we wonder if we really make a difference at all.

It can be tempting to give up. Why in the world did I choose to go into education?

Because you were called…God looked at you and deemed you as one He could trust to keep on pulling weeds when the job seemed impossible. You are one He could count on to dig up the stony places and make the soil ready. You are one He knew would come to Him when you needed a cool drink and a “word” to keep going. He knew you are His and would love those He loves, even when it’s hard.

You may not get to see the harvest because in education, our “fields” keep moving on to another who will continue the work you began…that is one reason it is even more important that we encourage each other daily. But if you hang in there long enough, eventually one of those “gardens” will come back to you and say, “Do you remember me?” Sometimes you will…sometimes you won’t be sure when you worked in that garden, but they have not forgotten you.

So hang in there, my teacher friend. Those naïve dreams of making a difference in the world – they weren’t so naïve after all. It’s just that life doesn’t always work on our timetable and sometimes it takes a while for the harvest to come. Keep planting and watering and weeding anyway. You make a difference after all.

1 Corinthians 3:6-9The Message (MSG)

^5-9 Who do you think Paul is, anyway? Or Apollos, for that matter? Servants, both of us—servants who waited on you as you gradually learned to entrust your lives to our mutual Master. We each carried out our servant assignment. I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plants, but God made you grow. It’s not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process but God, who makes things grow. Planting and watering are menial servant jobs at minimum wages. What makes them worth doing is the God we are serving. You happen to be God’s field in which we are working.

Sold...

Last night I had the strangest dream. We sold our house. We got exactly what we asked for it, it sold rather quickly, and it sold to a couple that we know. We were caught somewhat off-guard since we didn't expect it to happen so quickly and we didn't really know where we would go. We weren't worried about it, just didn't know what would lie ahead. 

This dream struck me since we have not really talked about selling our home; in fact, we are getting closer to finally having it paid off! This old house is far from perfect, but it has stood through a major hurricane, escaped several nearby tornadoes, and weathered just about every other kind of storm that could come its way. It won't be featured in a decorating magazine or anywhere other than this blog...and my memories. It has served us well. Nope, no thoughts of moving at all...This was all on my mind so I decided to look up the meaning of selling your home in dreams.

One theme popped up over and over - selling a home means leaving an old way of life and moving on. (Another post said it meant I was preparing to die, but I choose to ignore that one.)

Leaving an old way of life and moving on, I guess that pretty much depicts where I am in my life. As I prepare for BOTH of my children to move out in the coming months, I find I am re-evaluating my life and what it will now become. The fact that the couple in my dream is one that adopted their child a little over a year ago just cements that this is probably what prompted this dream. Both of my children are adopted and I have pretty much poured my life into them for the past 21 years, like any parent does. Now they don't really need me like they once did. 

I remember that just a few days before we brought our daughter home, a pastor friend prayed over us and told me he felt God wanted me to know something. He told me that even though I had been active in ministry, I was about to begin the ministry that would bring me greater joy than I had ever imagined. He had no idea we were planning to meet with the adoption agency that week to bring our daughter home, but he was so right...this "ministry" of being a parent has been one of the hardest and yet most fulfilling things I could have ever imagined. I have failed more times than I'd like to admit, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to be "Mom." In fact, I have loved that I have been known as "Sam's mom" or "Levi's mom" over the past two decades...but now it's time to find a "title" change.

So now I find myself "selling" the old me - really more like turning it over to a younger family just beginning this journey, and an unknown future lies ahead. What I have known will soon become history, something in the past. Ahead lies...well, I have no idea what lies ahead.

I guess in a way we are all "selling our houses" at some point in our lives. Life is anything but static. During all this "change" I can hang on to the promise of God that no matter what lies ahead, He is already there. 

For all of those "fellow moms" who are finding that their title is changing, I pray that as you "sell your house" you have peace. God has so much more for us and I pray that you find your new "title" quickly. Like parenting, I have a feeling it will be far more difficult and FAR more rewarding than we could have ever imagined.

A blog from a friend really helped solidify my thoughts on this topic. I highly recommend it to all my fellow wanderers...
 Lost and Wandering in your Wilderness by Dr. Beverly Smallwood

No matter where our journey takes us, our Father knows and has made a way for us...and it will be good. 

Jeremiah 29:11

 I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Philippians 3

12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

15-16 So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

17-19 Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

20-21 But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

Tombs...

Perhaps it is the fact that today is Good Friday, but for whatever reason, my random thoughts today have gone to the subject of tombs.

It started with a conversation I had with someone who was dealing with some pretty "rough" characters the past few weeks. As I tried to encourage her (and myself) that we are called to be the light no matter where we are, I made reference to a couple of different Bible stories that we are all familiar with. I said, "At times I think I'd rather be dealing with those whom run among the tombs than those who are nice and cleaned up like the Pharisees and the Sadducees." That's what got the thought-wheels turning.

The more I thought about it, both groups of people in those stories, the heathen and the religious, had tombs in their lives. It was obvious the problem the demoniac had. He was living (if you could call that living) among the dead. He was surrounded by tombs and it showed. The other groups, the "religious 'right'" I guess some might call them (not a political statement by the way) had their own tombs to deal with. The problem for most of them was that their tombs were hidden where no one could see - no one but the Son of God that is. That group had their lives all cleaned up, but on the inside they had their own problems. They were "white-washed tombs". 

Every day we deal with people who are dealing with death. Some are surrounded by it, and some are dead inside. Visible or not, death has a way of making its presence known. The difference is with one you what you see is what you get and with the other you have no idea what you are facing.

We don't call them tombs much any more, at least not in the South. We call them graveyards. As a child I remember going with my mom to the graveyard to tend the graves (something I never really understood.) As a young adult, she once asked me where I wanted to be buried. I told her I didn't really care, I wouldn't be there anyway. 

Some are afraid of graveyards. When I was little, it seemed that every scary story had a graveyard/cemetery somewhere in it...but Jesus wasn't afraid of tombs. He went to the demoniac who wandered among the tombs; He called out the Pharisees and Sadducees for what they were - white-washed tombs; He called his friend OUT of the tomb; and just to make sure that all could see His power over death, He broke free from the tomb. No tomb was a match for Him, whether it was inside or out.

Today marks the day they laid my Lord in a tomb...a borrowed one at that. In just two days we celebrate the realization that what He had told His disciples was true...three days after the Temple had been torn down it would be restored. That alone is news good enough to make us want to go out into the "graveyard of a world" and proclaim release to those who are trapped among the dead. And for those who "look good" on the outside, it's good news that they don't have to be a walking tomb themselves, zombies as it were. Dead is dead, whether outside or in. 

Jesus promised something much different - life abundant...and that is Good News!

Jesus healed the demoniac

Matthew 23:27-28The Message (MSG)

27-28 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.

John 11 - The death of Lazarus (MSG)

17When Jesus finally got there, he found Lazarus already four days dead...

21-22 Martha said, “Master, if you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.”

23 Jesus said, “Your brother will be raised up.”

24 Martha replied, “I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.”

25-26 “You don’t have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all...

38-39 Then Jesus...arrived at the tomb. It was a simple cave in the hillside with a slab of stone laid against it. Jesus said, “Remove the stone.” The sister of the dead man, Martha, said, “Master, by this time there’s a stench. He’s been dead four days!”

40 Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

41-42 Then, to the others, “Go ahead, take away the stone.”

They removed the stone. Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and prayed, “Father, I’m grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen, but on account of this crowd standing here I’ve spoken so that they might believe that you sent me.”

43-44 Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.

Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

Luke 24The Message (MSG)

Looking for the Living One in a Cemetery

24 1-3 At the crack of dawn on Sunday, the women came to the tomb carrying the burial spices they had prepared. They found the entrance stone rolled back from the tomb, so they walked in. But once inside, they couldn’t find the body of the Master Jesus.

4-8 They were puzzled, wondering what to make of this. Then, out of nowhere it seemed, two men, light cascading over them, stood there. The women were awestruck and bowed down in worship. The men said, “Why are you looking for the Living One in a cemetery? He is not here, but raised up. Remember how he told you when you were still back in Galilee that he had to be handed over to sinners, be killed on a cross, and in three days rise up?” Then they remembered Jesus’ words.

Other Parents...

I think just about every parent has had this conversation with their child. It starts out with a "simple" request from the child and everything goes smoothly until that point when the parent says "no". 

Sometimes the "no" comes because the parent sees that something is not good for the child, but as they get older the "no" often comes because the parent is simply unable to grant the request due to lack of resources, either financial or otherwise. At this point the child pulls out the dreaded "other parents" arrow, the one that was tipped with a rubber stopper when they were a small child but is now sharpened to a steely point and pierces straight to the heart. 

The child isn't trying to hurt the parent, they just do not understand. They "want" and as a parent we desperately "want" to help but we have long ago come to the realization that we are not Superman. Heck, we're not even Ironman or Hulk or even a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. At best we are the sidekick that is constantly having to be rescued. We are Jimmy Olsen or Pepper or whoever it was that hung out with the Hulk. We are helpless.

Recently I stood and had a conversation with another parent who was dealing with this same kind of situation. I wanted to just hug her because I understand! Oh, how I understand! Other parents seem to be able to "give" their children everything and we stand there with nothing in our hands, hoping we'll figure out a way to simply hang on and not drown in bills before they become "self-sufficient adults"...and in the process, of course, we feel like we have failed them somehow.

It's a vicious cycle. We feel guilt that we've allowed them to become so selfish and at the same time wish so much that we could make things easier on them. We see them struggle to grow and they look to us as if somehow we can make it easier...only we can't. 

As parents, we feel that we are the only ones struggling - the only ones who somehow failed at this parenting thing, but we aren't. That is what the enemy wants us to believe, that we're the only ones... that way he keeps us isolated and in despair. But look around. There is a whole generation with their hand out saying they "deserve" something for free. 

Before you think I am looking down on youth, I am not. I think we were probably all like that at their age, but we just weren't as vocal and weren't surrounded by others who agreed with us. My parents struggled, I didn't realize till years after they were gone just how much. Oh, how I wish I could hug them and say I am sorry for being such a selfish brat. 

The thing is, giving a child everything is not the answer, but it is something every parent wants to be able to do. I guess it's a good thing God hasn't allowed me to have the resources to give to my children all that I want to because it would short circuit what He wants to do in their lives...the plan He has for THEM. 

It is in the struggle that we grow. We've all heard the story of the person who "helped" a butterfly out of the cocoon or the bird from the egg...they discover that because of  the "helping" the creature doesn't survive. The struggle is necessary.

Our head knows this, sometimes even our hearts realize this is true; but then that precious child looks at us and you can see that they no longer see you as the superhero they once did. In fact, at times they look at us in disgust as utter failures...and it hurts. The arrow no longer has that rubber tip, it is sharp and jagged and it finds its way to our heart. Think I'm exaggerating? Ask any parent who has been on the receiving end of one of those looks. The pain is very real.

I don't like to write a blog that is filled with hopelessness and this one is not...for in time there is a glimmer of hope that shines through. The seeds of love and faith that you have planted in them will grow. God's Word does not return void and we've planted it in them. We may not see it yet, but it will come. 

Train up a child in the way that they should go...our job is training, their job is to go. Somewhere in between along with all the pain and frustration, there will come joy. I have to believe it because God said it was so...and "God don't tell no lies."

One more thing. As we talked, I remembered another "parent" who had provided for their child and taught him in the way that he should go only to have the child turn and do something very, very stupid. Maybe he thought his father was holding out on him. Perhaps you've heard of him. His name was Adam, and he had a wife named Eve. 

God understands a my heartbreak and frustration. Somehow that makes me feel a little better.

So, no matter what those "other parents" do, don't worry. They are working to raise the child God entrusted to them. It may look like they are somehow doing a better job, but God knew what He was doing when He gave this child to you...even if you are pretty sure He must have made a mistake. Don't look at the "other parents, look to Him. Trust Him. He's got this. 

After my conversation with that parent, I heard the following song come on the radio. It could be the anthem for all parents everywhere. I will trust in You

Helpful advice on parenting: Joe McGee Ministries

Side note: As I searched for a picture to go with this blog, I remembered that children are "arrows"...as we launch them into the world they go forth to destroy the enemy, each in their own way.  Special thanks to Madi and her mom for allowing me to use her photo for this blog. She is one arrow that is going far and I look forward to hearing all the wonderful things that she will do!

Proverbs 22:6
Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.