look for the daffodils, and while you're at it....

The topic of joy has been on my mind a lot lately....not necessarily happiness, but joy. There is a difference as most can tell you. Happiness is more defined by circumstance while joy is there in spite of circumstance. That's where today's random thought came from.

The other day as I was pulling out to go to work, the ground was white with frost and everything around was just gray....dead looking. Then I happened to see it - one yellow daffodil lifting its head toward the sun and a smile crept across my face. I don't know if I've ever thought of such a perfect representation of what joy is. When the world is in winter and all hope seems dead, there in the ground is a bulb, getting ready for its debut. You can't see it, but it's there, and when the time is right, that bulb will let the tender green shoots break the cold hard earth and lift toward the sun. It is a picture of joy - of hope. Joy is grounded in the knowledge that even though everything around us may seem wrong - dead even - that God is still in control. He still holds our days in His hands and His promises toward us are true. As I heard recently in a Bible study, it's not what I "feel" that's true - it's what God has said that is true. My feelings can lie. They can be affected by circumstance, by the way I feel, by what someone says to me, even by what I ate for lunch! But God's Word and His promises toward us do not change - ever! That is hope!

With these thoughts running through my mind as I continued to drive to work, I started looking for more daffodils - more reminders of God's love. I saw robins that actually brought a tear to my eye, flowers peeping up through frost, etc. Then I say something different. I saw an empty beer bottle. Trash. It was then that I realized the barren frost helped me be able to see other things as well. Because there was no real growth to camoflage it, I could see the things that SHOULDN'T be there as well. I started thinking of the times when things were tough and for the first time I saw stuff in my life that really shouldn't be there. I don't think I'd ever realized that the "winter" could serve in this way as well. When times are good, I don't seem to notice the "trash" buried in the tall grass and flowers...but when everything is lying dormant, then I can see the trash for what it is...and that would be the perfect time to get rid of it!

Yes, joy is more than happiness...it's that hope that God is still in control even when everything else seems out of control. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. He has plans for me...plans for a hope and a future. I pray that this day, you be able to hang on to God's promises and to find your moments of joy - your daffodils that give you hope....and while you're at it, keep an eye out for the trash. Now's the best time to remove it so that your joy has more room to grow.

It's okay....nothing's broken

Today, during my puny attempt at a run, I passed an interesting sign. It said "Nothing's broken. This is a landscape drain."

It seems that this family has had difficulty with people calling the city water department when water came pouring down the street because they thought a pipe must be busted to cause that much water. Instead, it is simply a type of drain put into a yard to remove excess water from building up. In other words, it's doing its job.

You guessed it, that's where the "random thoughts" began.

This week has been a particularly difficult week, (and all the teachers said "Amen!") As I was talking to one of my teacher friends, I mentioned that the children of Israel didn't just take over the whole promised land at once. There were giants in the land and they had to be ready for the battles they would encounter (and by ready, I mean fully leaning on God!) Some of what we encounter is preparation for doing battle with those giants...learning to trust God in all things. At times, we can sense God's presence....other times, we cannot. That does not mean He's not there. As people, we tend to assume that if things aren't going well, it's because something is really wrong. Maybe it's just the "drain" doing its job. Even when we can't really see what's going on, we're learning to trust God.

Let me try to explain. In John 15:2, we are told that any branch that is not fruitful is cut off, and any branch that is bearing fruit is pruned so that it will become more fruitful. (my paraphrase). Perhaps the storms we experience at times aren't so much because of what's wrong, but they are simply a part of the process of growth in which God is preparing us to become even more fruitful! There's no need to sound the alarm. If the storm isn't because of something wrong (see the pothole blog), then perhaps it is simply a part of the process of our pruning that will make us more fruitful.

Now I will be the first to say I don't get excited about pruning. When things are going well, I'd just as soon we keep it at the status quo and keep plugging along at what I'm doing. However, that's not the way things usually work. We're all either moving forward or backward. If we're "standing still", we're usually growing stagnant and if you've ever smelled stagnant water, you know that's not a good thing. Pruning takes that which is "working" and fine tunes it so that it works even better! Anyone who has ever pruned a rose bush knows that while this may not be a pretty process, it's well worth the "barren" looking times.

So, if in my life you should see what looks like a busted water pipe, have no fear. It could just be my "landscape drain" at work....washing away things that are not fruitful and doing a bit of pruning on those things that are. That doesn't mean I won't appreciate your prayers in the process....and I promise to do the same for you when it's your turn for pruning.

Put the bucket down....

In my last blog, I intimated that it looked like I'd be doing some "cleaning" in my life. I had no idea how I was going to do that. Knowing that something is wrong may be the first step, but it doesn't necessarily mean you know what the next step should be. Today, I think I discovered what the next step may look like. What follows is a word picture that will hopefully explain.

Have you ever been out working, perhaps in the yard or on some sort of construction site, and you had to carry a bucket that was so full it made your fingers ache? Sometimes as a teacher, I find I carry books home in a tote and they are so heavy I almost tip over. Even groceries can do this when you try to carry too many items in at one time. The connecting factor here is the weight and what it does to your hand. After a short time of carrying this load, your hand almost conforms to its load and develops into a sort of painful hook. When you finally let go of the load, your hand seems to scream out in pain as you try to straighten it once again. You may be tempted to put the load BACK into your aching hand simply to ease the pain. For a brief moment, you may wonder if you will ever hold that hand out in a normal manner again.

Of course, that is where the analogy begins. Some of us have been carrying a heavy load for so long, our hands are gripped around it like a vise. The weight may be different things: our jobs, our "stuff", our disappointment in life or with God, or even hurts from the past that fill our buckets like slop for a pig. Whatever it is, the thought of letting go is painful. We can't lift our hands no matter how hard we try because of that heavy load, and we can't seem to let go. We know we need to let it go, but every time we try, it's so painful we simply tighten our grip once again and try to go on.

There is good news. We don't have to carry that load forever....we don't even have to carry it another day. We do, however, have to make the choice to lay it down. At first, it may be so painful you are tempted to pick it back up. Yes, it hurts, but at least it's a pain that is familiar. If, however, you let go of that heavy weight and reach out to God in faith, He will take that twisted hand and take away that pain. Picture the way someone would reach out in love and gently massage those twisted fingers and help the circulation return...

Perhaps your spirit has been twisted with pain much like arthritis or injury twists the joints of a hand. The pain is real. The hurt is real, but God is there reaching out to you, waiting for you to let Him take away the pain. The thing is, first you have to let go of the "bucket". Let go of the hurt, let go of your right to feel justification at our anger, let go of whatever weight is keeping you from running the race set before you. Simply let go. God is waiting to take your hand. Shift your focus from the weight to His hand reaching out for you. In time, that poor twisted hand will be stretched out, free of pain and free to reach out for joy.

What about the bucket? Leave it where it is....God will take care of that load far better than you ever could. Just take His hand and trust Him to lead the way.

The problem with the rug

This past Christmas, in moving furniture and rearranging the living room so we could put up our tree, I made a rather unpleasant discovery. My rug had a problem.

Now this problem was not immediately evident to me...no, I discovered the problem quite by accident. You see, in order to move everything, I needed to first roll up my large area rug from its out of the way place and temporarily put it into our "computer" room. It would be out of the way until Christmas was over and it could then be put back out. After a few days in the computer room however, I started to notice an unpleasant odor...anyone who has dogs would recognize it. It was that unmistakeable smell of dog urine. At first, I thought my daughter's small dog had com into the room and had an accident, but after investigating I found the odor came from my beloved rug. It didn't just smell a little bad, it was AWFUL! I guess that the dog had not once, but repeatedly used a corner of that rug as her own personal potty! I had never noticed it before!

Now, let me assure you I am not a horrible housekeeper....I'm not in danger of the Clean Sweep Team coming to my door any time soon, (although I would probably welcome them!) This rug was simply in a relatively unused area of my living room and its dark patterned design hid any spots better than you would imagine. While I had caught the dog once trying to use the rug as her own personal spot, I had cleaned it well and felt confident that it was a somewhat isolated incident. Boy was I wrong. My immediate thought after discovering it was "Oh no, have others who have entered my home already noticed this smell? Have I just gotten so used to it that I didn't even notice it was there?" This is not the kind of thing you want to find out.

I knew the rug needed cleaning, but since money is a bit tight, I decided to first try "airing" it out by hanging it over the half wall of my carport. A day or two later, my husband came to tell me that we needed to move the rug - the odor was bothering him. Funny, I didn't seem to smell it now. At any rate, we decided to lay it out in the sun for a few days. Perhaps that would work. Well, I am somewhat forgetful and instead of being in the sun a few days, it stayed in the sun, rain, wind, etc for a couple of weeks. Well, surely now it must smell a little better. Nope, I'm afraid not. Now it's worse. I guess, I'm finally going to have to deal with cleaning this rug. I might even have to get professional help!

Of course, this blog is about more than just a rug, for at the same time all this is happening, I am realizing there is something that "smells" in my own life.

A few years ago, I was hurt by someone....betrayed. I thought I had dealt with it and gone on. After all, I know a lot about forgiving others. I've been deeply hurt before and learned to forgive and move on. Yet somehow, this time it was different. I realized this the day the person who had hurt me re-entered my life. To be quite honest, I'd have been happy if this person had disappeared forever...but God had other plans. There they were....again. The feelings that came rushing over me were no less repulsive than that odor that had been lurking in the rug. They had been there all along, I just had gotten used to them and as long as they weren't stirred, I could ignore them. Of course, I now wonder if those around me "smelled" these bad attitudes all along but simply were too polite to say anything.

I tried "airing" them out by talking to friends...after all, the "spot" wasn't my fault! I hadn't caused the problem, I'd been the one who had been "soiled". Unfortunately, the "airing" didn't make it better...it just exposed my friends to the smell. I tried laying the "problem" out and hoping God would somehow miraculously just "deal" with them and then I could go about my happy little way. That didn't work either. This time, it's going to take ME dealing with the stench. I've got to clean out what is causing the root of the problem...and yes, I might have to get some real help.

I can't help but wonder if it's worth it. I'd love to just "throw the rug" away....but I sense this time it won't be that easy. Not dealing with this could prove to be something that robs me of joy down the road. How do I know this? Well, seems like everytime I turn around, that person is there. They have no idea the effect their presence has on me...but trust me, I do...and I understand why it is so important to forgive.

When unforgiveness is allowed to stay, it puts down a root of bitterness that produces a really "stinky" fruit. That smell will get into almost every area and ruin anything it comes in contact with. Even worse, the vines that grow from the root wrap themselves around you and "bind" you to the one you won't forgive. I know you've heard this as many times as I have...but somehow that smelly rug brought it home again.

How will I go about cleaning this "rug"? To be honest, I'm not sure. Will it be worth the effort? Again, I'm not sure....I can only go on what I know God has told me to do. Somehow, I've got to forgive just as I have been forgiven. Perhaps in a future blog, I can tell you what finally got the "smell" out. Until then, like most people, I've got some cleaning to do.

New Year's Firecrackers or Apple Seeds?

As the new year approaches, the thoughts of children everywhere turn to firecrackers! Stands pop up along roadsides with enticing signs offering two for one deals. The air on New Year's Eve will be filled with the sounds of pops and whistles causing neighborhood dogs to quiver in fear.

Now I enjoy a good fireworks show as much as the next person, but I've never been one to get into the homemade version. My children are like every other child who wants to fill the night with noise, while I worry that they'll hurt themselves in their haste. But, New Year's Eve usually means firecrackers nonetheless. That's what started this random thought.

When I think of firecrackers, I remember they make noise, they can be fun to watch, they can hurt you if you're not careful, and they don't last very long. Sounds like a lot of people I know....and that's the point. Remember, I'm not a big fan of firecrackers...I'm drawn to something much quieter...like an apple seed.

In the Bible, Jesus told the parable of the sower and in that story, some of the seed fell on shallow earth and sprang up quickly. Since these seeds had no real root, they just as quickly withered away. Some of the seeds fell on good soil and grew and produced 30, 60, 100 fold. Therein lies the difference in a firecracker and an apple seed.

As humans, we are often drawn to the flashy, quick rise to fame of the firecracker. What we forget is that the flash only lasts for a moment...fades quickly at best and can be dangerous at worst. Unfortunately, many young Christians are like those firecrackers. Sometimes in their zeal, they even manage to hurt those around them. They mean well, but like the firecracker they can be full of noise and then leave nothing but a puff of smoke behind them. Come to think of it, that's not just young Christians...that's people in general!

Contrast that to the lowly apple seed. Nothing really flashy there. Plant it and you'll have to wait a long time to see any results. Before that seed can become what it was created to be, it must die to itself...something we don't really see. Then slowly, that seed will grow into a shoot, then a sapling, then a tree, then finally...after what may seem like an eternity...the tree will produce fruit. Inside each seed lies the potential for thousands of other seeds, each with the same potential to feed those around it and grow. Have you ever met someone like that? You just get the feeling when you're around them that the fruit and wisdom they offer didn't happen quickly. It is precious fruit that took a lifetime to develop...and they don't look much like seeds anymore. While some are young in years, they have obviously died to self. Others, while they have had a lifetime to do this, somehow just resemble wrinkled old seeds...or firecrackers that have simply burned out.

Every New Year, people make huge resolutions like firecrackers...quickly made and forgotten. If instead, we can remember life is much more like planting a seed, perhaps we'll begin to see the difference in ourselves and those around us. It's not too flashy, and it's not much fun to watch, but if we're living for more than just the moment, we'll realize it's the way to go. Here's wishing you happy planting in the New Year.

Rainfall and Potholes

The other day, as I was taking my son to school, I passed a spot in the road that I've learned to avoid because of a persistent pothole. As I carefully slowed in anticipation, I thought about the fact that this pothole has been "repaired" many times, but after every heavy rain, it appears once more. Once again, those 'random thoughts' started turning in my head.

That pothole shows up after every heavy rain. Maybe the problem isn't the rain, maybe the rain is simply revealing an ongoing structural problem that is simply being given a bandaid to try and repair it. That's alot like our lives. Rain doesn't cause the problems, it simply reveals them. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust alike, the difference is how that rain effects them. Life is going to have problems, but often we blame what is happening to us on the problem when in fact it is a "structural defect" within us that is simply being revealed.

Perhaps my problem isn't lack of funds; perhaps it is how I have set up my lifestyle. Perhaps the problem isn't my health; perhaps it's the choices I've made or my lack of self discipline. Perhaps my problem isn't that grouchy person I have to work or go to school with, (or even live with); perhaps it is my low self esteem or lack of patience or selfishness (how dare they ruin my day!) Perhaps the problem isn't my teacher or boss; perhaps it is what kind of student or worker I have shown myself to be. Perhaps the problem isn't what the person said or did; perhaps it's my anger. You get the picture.

This analogy can go into many different realms. Perhaps the problem with anything isn't what we perceive it to be. Perhaps it is simply revealing an area we truly need to make changes to in ourselves or our nation. Since I can't seem to do much about the nation, (see earlier blog about no one asking me!) then I guess it's up to me to make the changes in me.

If I don't like the way my kids act, I might need to look at my behavior toward them and others. (They do learn from me, especially that which I wish they didn't!) If I don't like the way my neighborhood is, perhaps I need to look and see if I'm making a difference there. If I don't like the way things are done at my job, perhaps I need to look at what part I might play in the problem, whether in attitude or action. If I don't like the way my government is doing things, perhaps I need to look at what I am doing to make a difference in that area. Now, I realize there are areas that "hit us" that we had nothing to do with! We can't control those things - only our reactions to them. Maybe the reason for our storm isn't so much for us, as to help someone around us see how we go about weathering what life throws at us. Maybe they need to watch us "fix the potholes" so they will know how to accomplish the same in their own lives.

We all have "potholes" in our lives. It's up to us to take the time and effort (and sometimes painful expense - metaphorical and sometimes actual) and fix it. Putting another patch on it may seem to work for a while, but rest assured, it will rain again. If you don't want to constantly have to avoid that pothole, you're gonna have to do something about it.

May you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy "Pothole Fixing" New Year.

Why a stable?

The following "random thought" actually came about a year ago while teaching in Kid's Church just before Christmas. I don't think I've ever heard this before....in fact, I had never thought of it before the words began to come out of my mouth that Sunday morning.

It was a typical Children's Church service a week or two before Christmas. I had a wonderful group of kids, most of whom I had known since they were born. These children knew the Christmas story quite well, so making it real and new was quite a challenge. I had told the story and tried to paint a picture so that the children could experience the story anew. It was then that I asked the question - "Why was Jesus born in a stable?" Of course, the response was "Because there was no room in the inn." Then I asked a question even I hadn't considered before. "Why wasn't there room at the inn? Did God forget to make reservations?" Of course, we all laughed at such a ridiculous question. Obviously the birth of Jesus being in a stable was no accident....but why would God allow His Son to be born in a stable?

It's not like God didn't know when Jesus would be born. Yes, the city was crowded, but couldn't God have made room for this family in an inn somewhere? After all, He's God! He knew when the angel told Mary she'd have a son that they would be making this trip 9 months later! He could have made arrangements! I understand that there are many different views as to what this stable might have been, but it doesn't change the fact that a stable isn't a place for a baby to be born! That's where animals are born....animals like sheep and goats and cows. The kind of animal you'd use for a sacrifice.

You know, every time I think about that, it causes a lump to rise in my throat. Jesus, the King of Kings was born in a place where sacrifices are born. He was laid in a manger - the place where the animals would go for food....The Bread of Life, Jesus - born as a sacrifice.

This Christmas, as you take time to read the original Christmas story, may your heart be filled with the knowledge of God's love for you. Merry Christmas.