I'm not sure how long ago it was that I heard the verdict...you are diabetic. My first response was "No, I'm not." To which the nurse practitioner said, "Yes, you are." This went back and forth a few times before she said, okay but whatever you need to come in tomorrow so I can show you how to give yourself injections.
There I was, at the peak of my fitness...at least I thought I was. I was running up to six miles a day, eating clean - most of the time, but with occasional symptoms I could explain away. This... I didn't know what to do with this.
Friends were so "helpful"..." You know you could lose your legs." Yeah, that's something a runner wants to hear! "You could wind up on dialysis." Seriously people, could you just stop talking? Even the endocrinologist they sent me to said these same things! But none of what they said phased me...I knew I was a fighter, so I started fighting. And I fought well - for a while. Then I got tired. I started trying anything that gave me the promise of lower readings or even that somehow they could "cure" diabetes. By now you've probably guessed that none of them worked. And I got tired - really tired.
Then I saw a post from a friend talking about how a new fitness program she was doing had gotten her off all her blood pressure meds. I was cautiously optimistic. I was seeing how she was looking happier and fitter in ways that were clearly visible. So I decided to ask, "What are you doing?" I thought she'd recommend some pill or powder. Instead, she happily recommended that I book an appointment to talk to her health coach at Shutupeatclean. Okay, I responded as I continued to watch from the sidelines. Then one day, I decided to book an appointment. Best decision I've made in years!
I discovered what I needed in my fight - someone who could come alongside me who was knowledgeable in health and fitness and most importantly, someone who would hold me accountable. See, I've had lots of good intentions over the years - what I lacked was motivation and accountability when my motivation waned. I needed information - not information like the internet offers, in a tidal wave with some truth and a whole lot of fiction! I needed someone who could walk me through the process of reclaiming my health and give advice when I was confused. That's what I found in Shutupeatclean and Coach Brian.
I made progress - solid progress, gaining muscle as I lost fat, and developing a lifestyle of fitness. While I still take meds for diabetes, my A1c is down 2 points and I'm actually eating! No starvation diet or extreme food choices that eliminate almost all carbs. I'm exercising like I did before the diagnosis - even more. And I'm finally back to running without injuring myself.
I went from, "You could lose your legs" to "Are you ready to beat your time in that last race? I've signed up for a Spartan run and while I know it will be a challenge, it's a challenge I'm ready to face.
The diagnosis was meant to give me a death sentence...I believe Jesus has healed me and has given me direction and help in "taking off the grave clothes" that would keep me tied down. I am a fighter, a warrior, and I'm not giving up that easily. As Coach says, I am a Dragon Slayer and I'm not backing down now.
*Post note: Fear likes to play on a person. My father lost his legs before he died. He was unable to care or feed himself. Fear can tear away at a person even when they don't realize it. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. THAT is why I'm continuing to fight...I refuse to accept the "diagnosis"!
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