not my kids....

"Not my kids...." 

I have actually sat in meetings with parents where they have said those words. One parent went so far as to say her child does not lie. You can be proud of me. I successfully resisted the urge to go over and shake her hand and say I was so happy to finally meet the mother of Jesus....but I did think it! Yep, as a teacher, "not my kid" are words I really hate to hear come out of a parent's mouth, so rest assured, this blog will not take that direction.

Let me begin by saying I have loved being a parent.....well, most of the time. 

However, there is a period of time - usually around 16 or 17 - when parenting becomes NOT so pleasant. When your teens are convinced you are the stupidest parent on earth and everyone else has MUCH cooler parents and if you'd just step out of the way, their life would be SO much better. Needless to say, I am in the middle of those teen years. It is then that I am thankful I can say, "Not my kids." 

Since my children are adopted, you might take that phrase the wrong way. I am in no way saying these children aren't mine to love and, at times, endure. As a teacher, you already know I'm not living in denial that my children are somehow beyond reproach. Nope, this is a different way of looking at things....one that is helping me hold on to my sanity.

With both my daughter (who has now circled round to having some common sense again) and now with my son, I have had to fully give them over to God. I can remember distinctly where my foot fell during a run when I turned my daughter over to Him and basically said, "that's it. I can't do this. She is Yours." I could almost hear the response. "That's what I've been waiting on all along."

I'd love to say things got better immediately, but they didn't. They did, however, get better. She is actually fun to be with now and on the eve of her moving out on her own, I find myself sad to see her go. I also feel confident that she will return for visits as not only my daughter, but my friend.

My son....well, let's just say I'm still in the teenage years with him!

The phrase "not my kids" actually refers to giving my children back to God. I dedicated both my children when they were babies, but as any parents know parenting is a continual process, sometimes a painful one.

The other day after a particularly stressful time with my son, I went for a run. (I have heard people say they run because punching people is frowned upon. Sometimes I feel like I run because I wouldn't look good in an orange jumpsuit!) Anyway, on this run I realized it was time once again to turn my child back over to God. That's when the phrase, "not my kid" came back to mind, only in a very different way. 

Now, when the enemy comes after my son, I am able to think about things more calmly. Not only is my child not mine, he is God's...and the enemy REALLY doesn't want to mess with God! God is not only able to keep my son, but He is more than able to squash anyone who comes after him. While the enemy might actually enjoy the idea of beating me up to get to my child, he's not quite as eager to take on God!

When God says, "not my kid..." it takes on a whole new meaning.  (Picture yourself hiding behind John Wayne or Clint Eastwood and they are staring at the bad guy and saying those words as in 'you better not mess with my kid'! And no doubt, God is MUCH tougher than both of them put together!)  

Nothing can separate my son from the love of Christ.

Parenting my son is still very difficult at times...but knowing that he's "not my kid" but belongs to God allows me to step back and trust that God is in control. He can handle it; I don't have to.

Why share this? Simply because somewhere out there, there is another parent who is raising a teenager and at their wits end. Or maybe they are looking at their own life and wondering how they'll make it through. We continue to pray and stand in the gap and then remember, they are "not mine."

We can look to our Father and know that He has got this. We are His and He is able....

Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)

¹⁷ No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:27-28 (NIV)

²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

 

The day AFTER New Year's Day...

Welcome to Baby New Year!

I love New Year's. It is my favorite of all the holidays because it signals a chance to get a "Do-over" with so many things. New Year's Day is wrought with possibilities! This could be the year when I finally get it together. I could finally get it right.

Then comes the day AFTER New Year's Day and life returns to normal. What then? 

Today I awoke with a nagging pain in my knee from the 7+ miles I ran yesterday - part of my "resolve" to get back to running seriously. I ate a pop-tart for breakfast after sleeping late for the last time during this break from school. So much for  healthy eating and making every minute count! The kids came home from an exciting trip last night and the house looks a bit like a tornado ripped through it. Goodbye organization dreams. The cupboard is bare which means I have to go get some serious groceries - but I have no real idea what to cook that the "boy" will eat so toodle-lou to plans to keep the budget and eat healthy....plus I am seriously a lousy cook.

It's the day AFTER New Year's and all the glittery dreams seem to have lost their shine and been replaced with reality. I'm not a big fan of reality right now.

Reality says if I want to eat healthy I'm going to have to plan and purchase healthy food and PREPARE it myself. Reality says if I want to run I have to realize I'm not as young as I once was and I'll have to keep at it - slow and steady. Reality says that having children, while a joy, is messy and expensive. Reality is just so....REAL!

New Year's Day is filled with hopes and dreams and the day AFTER is the day when you realize that hopes and dreams take hard work!

It's not just the New Year's Day hopes that make a difference, it's the days AFTER that do. 

Come to think of it, New Year's is a lot like raising children. New Year's Day is always pictured as a baby. It is like the welcoming of a new child into the family. At first it's all joy, but the question is what will we do when the reality of child rearing shows itself? What will we do with that sparkly new "baby" new year once it starts soiling its diapers and screaming all hours into the night. When that "baby" starts talking back and telling us "NO!", what then? I'm guessing like any good parent, we hold our ground and remember the hope and precious moments that came with this baby. When our new year gets expensive with unexpected bills, will we take a deep breath and trust that God knew about this far before we did and has a plan? When our new year starts acting like a sullen teenager, will we do what is right - even if it's tough. When it comes with sleepless nights of worry because of "decisions" this new year has seem to have made, will we trust our Heavenly Father with that which we cannot control? When the reality of raising this child comes fully into view, how will we do?

We have been given the job of raising another year. There will be good times, bad times, and everything in between. Let's remember to enjoy every second of it because too soon it will be gone and our chance to "raise this child" will be done.

Happy day AFTER New Year's Day. Let's make it a great one.


Replace the word "child" with New Year and I'll think you'll see how these apply. The Proverbs 29 one is my favorite when applied to the New Year!
 
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 1:27–28)

 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.  (Proverbs 22:6)

 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. (Proverbs 29:17)

 And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.  (Luke 2:40)