Carry the weight...

I am a huge fan of the reality show, The Biggest Loser. I am such a sap when I see these people turn their lives around. They inspire and give me hope. Of all the challenges they do, my favorite one is when they run a race "carrying" the weight they have lost so far. They begin the race literally carrying weights attached to their body to help them see how far they have come. It is amazing to watch as they drop the weight at each mile marker and move on toward the goal.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, especially since I am desperately trying to lose at least 10 pounds (15 would make me happier) so that I can run the way I used to run. I've been trying to train again, and I can really tell the difference those 10...15...oh, let's be honest - 20 pounds can make. I've had people tell me I don't look like I weigh that much. They say I "carry" it well. How exactly does a person "carry" weight well? It's not in a backpack that I can drop when I want to go faster....I can't just leave it at the first mile marker - it's attached to parts of my body that I wish it wasn't attached to! I told a friend recently I wasn't dealing with a muffin top, I'm dealing with a whole bundt cake! Nope, I'm not one bit happy about this situation.

I've tried increasing my training, hoping that this would someone miraculously make the weight disappear.....it hasn't. I've increased my miles, run harder, tried harder - that weight just keeps hanging on making my runs miserable and slow. Then I got to thinking....this reminds me of how some people go about trying to serve God. We think that "working" more for God will somehow make the weights in our life simply fall away, but it doesn't. It just wears us out. As a matter of fact, running with all that extra weight makes it even harder and burns us out faster! Nope, simply working harder doesn't seem to be the answer. It's not just about doing more for God, it's about letting go of whatever is holding us back from fully experiencing our life with Him. Then we can really "run" the race before us. (It's funny, but the older I've gotten, the harder it is for my body to "let go" of the weight, and the older I've gotten the more things in my life I try to hang on to and carry myself. You'd think I'd learn by now!)

I've written before about "laying aside the weight" spiritually (Heb. 12:1) and to be honest, I'm still learning how to do that. I know I need to keep my focus on "whatsoever things are good, pure, honest, of a good report" but I also need to let go of some worries. I know that my God can be trusted with EVERYTHING in my life....I don't need to try and help Him carry any of them. He can take care of my finances, my family, my students, everything! I just need to lay them down at His feet and leave them there.

If you ask any of those "Biggest Losers" if they'd like to go back to carrying the weight they've taken off, not one of them would say yes. They are glad to leave them and move on. It's not just about training hard - it's also about "losing the weight" so we can RUN!

I look forward to the day when I can really run again without feeling like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders (or in my case - my stomach and hips.) Until that day, I'm learning how to love the run again. After all, that's what it's all about....not running because I have to - I run because it's what I love to do. I just know it's going to be easier once I finally learn how to let go of the things that weigh me down. I don't want to carry the weight anymore. I'm ready to let it go.

Care to join me for a run?

Psalm 55:22 (Message)
Pile your troubles on God's shoulders— he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.

One more word...or two.

I've been seeing a lot of posts on facebook from people who have embraced the idea of one word to focus on for the year. This will be my second year to do this, (not an original idea...I heard about it on the radio - you can also find a link at the end of this blog), and I've even written about it in previous blogs. The other day, however, I heard a suggestion that I liked - finding one word to focus on for my children as well.

Since I have two precious children, I immediately started asking God what word could I focus on for them. Well, to be honest,I was actually a bit hesitant. After my experience with the word "Hope" last year, I knew that the words would mean MUCH more than I originally realized. Still, I asked.

For my daughter, the word that came to mind is "Grace". Now, that is her middle name, but I'm pretty sure that isn't why it is her word. The dictionary defines grace, among other things, as:
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will.
4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.
5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
9. moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.
Now to be honest, I like some of those better than others! I like the theological meaning of the word best: a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces. d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

There are a number of scriptures that go along with the word 'grace'. Here are just a few: 2 Peter 1:2; Psalm 84:11; James 4:6; John 1:17; 1 Corinthians 1:3; 2 Timothy 2:1; 2 Peter 3:18...the list really does go on and on.

For my son, the word for this year is 'Strength.' I'm sure he would like that since he's really into lifting weights and seeing his muscles "grow". (And as I listen to him singing in the other room and think about the fact that he NEVER seems to stop talking, perhaps the word strength is meant to help ME! LOL)
According to the dictionary, strength means, among other things:
1. the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.
2. mental power, force, or vigor.
3. moral power, firmness, or courage.
4. power by reason of influence, authority, resources, numbers, etc.
6. effective force, potency, or cogency, as of inducements or arguments: the strength of his plea.
7. power of resisting force, strain, wear, etc.
8. vigor of action, language, feeling, etc.
11. something or someone that gives one strength or is a source of power or encouragement; sustenance: The Bible was her strength and joy.

I knew the first definition, but to be honest had not thought of some of the others that really do apply to my hopes for my son. I want him to not only be strong physically, but mentally, morally, spiritually as well! A few of the strength scriptures include: Nehemiah 8:10 (the joy of the Lord is your strength.); Psalm 27:1; Psalm 31:24; Isaiah 41:10; Ephesians 3:14 - 19; Ephesians 6:10; Phillippians 4:13....again, I have a number of verses I can pray for him this year.

Now that I have "words" for my children, it's time to see what one word God would have me focus on when praying for my husband! I think I have an idea, but that's for another blog.

I'm really looking forward to seeing what God will do this year with our "words".... I'm hoping a lot of people will spend some time this month seeking for the one word God would have them hold on to this year. Through it all, we can pray: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

It's 2011...what will your word be?

For an excellent article on how to choose your one word, check out this link to FCA: http://fcaresources.com/devotional/2010/12/28/just-one-word-part-1

For right now and his cousin, Just this once

I have just spent the better part of the past two evenings tossing clutter. Most of it was junk, some of it was stuff out of place, and all of it was overwhelming! I'd look back at coupons that expired, notices for bills long since paid, books that belonged in other rooms, sales papers, magazines, toys, the list just goes on and on.

Somewhere in the midst of all that chaos, it occurred to me. I had put these things in that particular spot, "for right now." Now I was staring at a room filled with "for right now" on top of  "for right now."I truly had never intended to leave it there permanantly, but a series of "for right nows" had piled up on me and now lay covered in a film of dust so thick you could probably not only write your name but copy the entire Declaration of Independence on top of it before signing your John Hancock!

As this random thought turned in my head (and I tossed with reckless abandon), I realized that "For Right Now" had a cousin named "Just This Once." I can thank that cousin for countless pounds that have piled up on my hips as I caved into going through the drive in "just this once" or having that piece of cake "just this once" or skipping exercise "just this once." That "Just This Once" is one tricky dude! He had me "just this once-ing" right into a bigger pants size!
Let's face it, I am a creature of habit. To say that I won't fall prey to "For right now" and "Just this once" is an exercise in futility. But maybe, just maybe I can take this little habit and turn it for my good! What would my life be like if "for right now" I completely dealt with the mail as it came in? What would happen if "for right now" I turned off the tv and cleared the table of the day's clutter? Could I possible even get my family caught up in putting their stuff away "for right now?" Okay, maybe that is a bit far-fetched.

And what of his cousin? What would happen if "Just this once" I ate what I knew was best for me, even if it meant cooking when I was tired? What if "Just this once" I chose fruit over cake for dessert? What if "just this once" I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill or going for a walk instead of plopping in front of the computer screen? What if, "just this once", I did things a little differently?

I'm thinking this might make a difference in a lot of areas in the world around me.  What if, "just this once", I picked up the trash I saw in my path as I went for a walk? What if, "for right now", I take my eyes off my own circumstances and reach out to someone else? What if "for right now" I was patient with the old person who was telling me that same story for the tenth time? What if "just this once" instead of losing my temper, I showed mercy for the person who cut me off in traffic? The possibilities are endless! I don't have to resolve to be a better person or clean up my health or get back in shape or try to change the world! All I have to do is "for right now" make a good choice, and "just this once" do what I know is best instead of what is easy.

I'd like to hear your ideas of what we could do "for right now" or "just this once" that might make a difference in the new year. Or if you give this a try, let me know how it goes...just this once.

Looking forward to hearing from you...and for right now, I think I'm done.

Wait for it....Wait for it....

Most of us HATE to wait. We want everything ASAP! Instant service, no waiting, serve me now! Very few of us think of waiting as a GOOD thing. But it can be....if it is waiting coupled with anticipation of what is to come!

There are a few of us still around who remember the ketchup commercial that used Carly Simon's song Anticipation as its theme song. "Anticipation. Anticipation. It's making me wait...." (I love another line in that song - these are the good old days...but that's for another blog.) The idea was that this ketchup was worth waiting for! It was just that GOOD!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I have such a strong feeling of anticipation about the coming year. This is very good news to me since looking back at last year's blog, I realized that at this time last year I felt a strong feeling of foreboding...that it would be a rough year. The word I chose to focus on for last year was hope and at times it was a choice, a very difficult choice, to hang on to that hope. This year feels very different. I am almost giddy with excitement of what is to come. I have no idea what it will be, but I know it will be GOOD! My anticipation, my expectation, is that God is about to do something wonderful and I'll get to see it!

There is a second part to that anticipation, however. It is "making me wait"....guess that's what anticipation is all about - waiting. But this waiting isn't a dread or a bore - it's filled with excitement of what is to come! This is like the days leading up to Christmas that are filled with preparation and joy, knowing that an expected celebration is near! It is hope plus a little bit more.

Somehow I came to the following verse in my morning Bible study: Lamentations 3:21-25 (By the way, I NEVER thought I'd find this kind of encouragement in a book called Lamentations, a word whose root means a passionate expression of grief!) Back to the verses: "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him". The New King James versions says the last part a little differently: "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him." That word "wait" is qavah and according to Strong's it means "To wait for, look for, expect, hope." It is the root of the noun tiqvah, "hope" or "expectancy". Qavah expresses the idea of "waiting hopefully." For me, it is as if the "hope" I had last year, sometimes simply as an act of faith that seemed to take everything within me to hold on to, has now been coupled with joy!

The season of waiting and, to be quite honest, sometimes wondering would God really come through for me, has been replaced with the excitement of knowing He will. Now instead of just sitting and hoping, I'm ready to take that hope and RUN with it!

I do not know what your 2010 was like. Perhaps you too have had a season of holding on to hope by the tips of your fingers, wondering if you could really hang on. If so, then I boldly declare the Word of the Lord to you. "
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands." Isaiah 43:18 - 19

Wait for it...wait for it....don't give up hope! Now this is waiting that I can do!

To those who "discovered" my blog thanks to thehighcalling.org, I'd like to say Welcome! Make yourself at home, check out a few of my more recent posts, and leave a comment or two. I'm glad you're here!

Just words...

About 12 months ago, we were looking at the beginning of 2010. I heard a radio program that encouraged people to find one word that would encapsulate the new year. Almost immediately, I knew what my word would be - hope.

Hope. According to the dictionary, hope means to believe, desire, or trust; the belief that events will turn out for the best. I liked that. Most definitely, hope would be the word for 2010. Little did I know just how much I would need that word, of how greatly my hope would be tested.

Before the thaw of spring could bring new life, my hope began to be tested. One of the first trials came when the company my husband worked for closed its doors without notice. Like most families, we lived paycheck to paycheck and now that paycheck had been cut in half. Still, I knew God would provide. At least, I thought I knew, but as the weeks stretched into months with no prospects in sight, I found myself paralyzed with fear. I didn't see how God was going to work this one out. Eventually my husband did find work, but it is very hard on him physically and like most jobs, doesn't pay what he had been making. Still, we've tried to console ourselves that at least it is a job.

I felt at times like I was holding on by the very tips of my fingers...but then the encouragement would come and I was able to renew my grip. It seems that 2010 was filled with trials that challenged my hold on hope. There were trials with my own children, trials with health, trials with friends, trials with students. I'd love to say I was always brimming with hope and good cheer, but it was/is truly a daily battle to hang on. As I sit here, nearing the end of the year, I am realizing just how powerful hope can be. When I thought I was holding on to hope, hope was in fact holding on to me.


Here just a few of the scriptures that carried me through.

"Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God" (PSALM 146:5)

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (PSALM 42:5)

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful" (HEBREWS 10:23)

So now it's time to look toward 2011, and I find a new word is resonating in my spirit: Anticipation. Dictionary.com gives this definition: realization in advance; foretaste; expectation or hope.

There are also a couple of verses that pretty much sum up what I'm feeling now:
Romans 8:18 (The Message)
18-21That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
Isaiah 43:18 - 19 (Message)
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, ... rivers in the badlands."


Yes, the word for this year is most definitely "anticipation."

May your new year be filled with anticipation of what God will do!

Waiting for Christmas

Christmas is less than 24 hours away and my son is bouncing off the walls. He can hardly contain himself...he is rotating between me, his dad, and his sister, looking for someone to help him contain his excitement. Since we open one gift every Christmas Eve, he is already bugging us to open that gift NOW since it is technically already Christmas Eve day. The rest of the family is content to lie around in a lazy fashion, slowly preparing for tomorrow's "festivities" and all that entails.

What is the difference? Well, part of it is that my son has been sick with the flu for the past 3 days and now he's finally feeling better. The rest of us have been "getting ready" for a while and to be honest, we are kind of tired.

Some of you are already making the connection. You already see this random thought coming.

I got to thinking, this is a lot like the people who were waiting on the Messiah 2000+ years ago....and those of us waiting today. My son is so excited. He has felt the pain of sickness and now finally sees and feels the celebration of the season. He is like the shepherds or the wise men. Those of us who have been well for a while have worn ourselves out. We are like....well, everyone else! Like a person who has newly realized that Christ came to save us, my son is excited! He wants to move and "DO" something! Those of us who have known "Christmas" for a while have grown weary. We've forgotten what we are working toward...or maybe we've just gotten too tied up in the "working for" part. Those shepherds did nothing but show up. The wise men did do some traveling, but it wasn't like their traveling caused Christ to be born. Even Mary - although I'm sure she had to do some preparation to give birth - it's not like she "made it happen." God did it all....we simply get to respond to the gift He gave.

Today, I pray for each of us to find the excitement of knowing that our Savior has come...that we don't grow weary in the preparation of the event and miss the joy. Christmas - the preparation for that first one required saying yes to whatever God had in store. It required taking whatever was in front of you, even if it was just a simple manger, and dedicating it to His service. It required recognizing that God is with us...and that it meant good tidings of great joy that were to be for all people. It was filled with hope for tomorrow! It required...well, just us to be there to receive.

No wonder my son is so excited! He is finally free from that which held him captive on the couch for three days and he is ready to celebrate! May our hearts recognize that we've been set free from a much greater sickness - that of sin - and now we have been given a gift. Here's hoping your day is filled with the anticipation of the only gift that never gets old, never wears out, never breaks or gets boring - the gift of our Savior.

Merry Christmas, and in an adaptation of the words of Tiny Tim, "God has blessed us, everyone."

Don't throw yourself out at first.

You know, I love watching sports of every kind. Not on tv, mind you. I like to be there live and in person. Maybe it's my inner athlete that never learned to play sports, maybe I just love watching people; but for whatever reason, I love watching sports - especially when kids are involved. They still believe they can do anything....and perhaps they can. They believe that, even if they aren't all that good right now, they are just one throw, run, hit, or jump from greatness.

One of my most favorite memories is of a T-ball game I attended years ago. In that game, I watched a little girl do something that has stuck with me since. This tiny powerhouse came up to the plate to bat with all the expertise of a flounder out of water. Her helmet looked a bit too big, the bat looked like a redwood compared to her, and I'm pretty sure they had to stop her and tie her shoes for her before she started to swing. The first swing came - she missed. Then a second - missed again. Once more - it was a tip that sent the ball rolling slowly toward the pitcher. In true T-ball fashion, the entire outfield came running in to try and get that ball, but they simply weren't fast enough...not for that little girl. She ran out and grabbed that ball and then promptly threw herself out at first. She was so proud! She had done what they could not! It took quite a bit of explaining, and I think I remember them giving her another chance, but I will never forget that moment. She actually threw herself out! No opposing team could do what she had done herself.

Therein, of course, lies today's random thought. I'm pretty sure I've been throwing myself out at first...and so have a lot of others around me. We have participated in helping the enemy of our soul in a way that it could not do in itself. It's as if the spirit of discouragement has attached its thorny claws to us and in raspy whispers only we can hear, it tells us over and over again we are not enough. We are not good enough, not smart enough, not cultured enough, not skinny enough, not whatever enough. It reminds us over and over of just how badly we blew it, AGAIN. It plays the stupid words we said over and over again inside our head like a broken record. It tries to convince us that when bad things happen, it is ALWAYS our fault. That we are being punished for being so stupid...so unworthy....so inadequate once again.

I wonder if hermits separate themselves from the world not because of fear of the world, but because they are afraid they will fail and finally be discovered as inadequate...simply not enough. I know I have had times when I felt like I should just crawl into a hole so that I would do as little damage as possible. I say the wrong thing, act too quickly, live too loud, generally stick my foot in my mouth and then for good measure, stick the other foot in as well. I find myself desperately trying to learn what I imagine others must have learned years ago as teenagers, yet I am still trying desperately to discover what the "rules" are. Instead of getting better with age, it seems I'm getting worse! Buying wrong gifts, over doing, not doing enough, doing it too loudly, not speaking up when I should, forgetting the important things, being overwhelmed by the trivial....

It's not everyday, mind you. Some days I feel pretty confident in myself - followed closely by days when I realize just how inadequate I am. Like most, I've had plenty of times in my life when the spirit of discouragement and despair has tried to convince me to "throw myself out at first." That's the enemy's favorite tactic - to remind us just how human and "not enough" we truly are.

Here's the shocker - the enemy is right....to a degree. I am not enough. I am in desperate need of a Savior. I need one who knows me and yet loves me all the same. I long for One who doesn't condemn, and instead speaks life into the cavernous hole in my heart and fills it. I want to be treasured as special...truly special. I want to feel His presence lifting me and reminding me that I am loved. I want one who doesn't remember my mistakes, but instead reminds me of the few times I actually got it right - because I waited on Him. I want Someone who will gently reach out and stop me from throwing myself out at first, before I've really even begun to play the game that day.

Perhaps you are like me this morning. You wake up to that feeling of dread in facing today's game - sure you'll mess it up somehow. I speak against that spirit of discouragement right now. I pray that you will recognize his lies for just what they are - an attempt to get you to throw yourself out at first before you even get started. God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a strong mind. He is right there with you, ready to guide your hands, steady your bat, and hit that ball right out of the park....just like your little kid dreams always imagined.

My words cannot fully express what is on my heart, but a song by Mercy Me does a really good job of speaking life.

Days will come when you don't have the strength,
When all you hear is "you're not worth anything"
Wondering if you ever could be loved,
And if they truly saw your heart, they'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful,You're beautiful,
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His,
You're beautiful

I'm praying that you have the heart to fight,
'Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long,
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful,You're beautiful,
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful,You're beautiful,
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His,
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath, long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed, there was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above, you're the one Emmanuel loves
Enough to die

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes
You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are His
You're beautiful,You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful,You're beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are His.

Today, as you come up to bat, give it all you've got. Don't be afraid that you won't be enough. Don't throw yourself out at first. Instead, know that you are loved....and give it all you've got - for Him who loves you no matter how you feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f89sRf3BKKU