Welcome to Jr. High

I am one of the lucky few in the world. I actually get to spend at least 8 hours of every day smack dab in the middle of Jr. High. I can almost hear you gasp in amazement. I know, you are jealous. You wish YOU could spend each day knee deep in drama, hormones, pimple cream and books. It's almost like living in a green house of emotions! Nothing is ever minor. It's just one big life crisis after another. It's just so - Jr. High!

Truthfully, I don't think I've ever met anyone who would willingly go back to their life during the Jr. High years. Just the mention of the words are enough to make grown men shudder and seemingly confident women break out is a cold sweat! It's almost as if when they escaped that time period they were set free! The one thing they knew was that they NEVER wanted to go back.

I recently asked my students what were the toughest parts of being in Jr. High and the answers ranged from pressure from parents to pressure from friends. They deal with mean girls/guys and tests and tough teachers and fickle friends. They are tired and excited and bored and frightened....sometimes all in the same day. In addition, the expectations of those around them seem to, at times, overwhelm these young teenagers. I think every day must be one constant battle of learning who they are and what they can and cannot do. They feel more grown up than they are and yet at times lapse back into being just a kid. They try to wrap their minds around lessons in math, language, history, computers and science all while juggling moods that can be far more frightening than the Tower of Terror roller coaster ride. Oh, and just to make things more interesting,  they are surrounded by hundreds of others dealing with the very same things. Oh yeah, Jr. High is one wonderful/rough place to be.

So often I want to tell my students to just hang in there. Jr. High is NOT the real world. It will be over soon! Yes, they may be dealing with difficult people, even difficult teachers, but it won't last forever. Before they realize it, it will be over and they will move on. The things that seem so huge today won't even be a blip on the radar of their lives in a few years.

And then I heard it. That nudging voice of the Lord inside me saying "That's what I've been trying to tell you." I am still stunned when I think of the simplicity of those words because right then it hit me....it's all just "Jr. High."

The things I am dealing with, which may be tough, are still really just a stage of life. They will pass far more quickly than I realize and I'll move on. My goal is heaven...that's what's really real. Everything else is just Jr. High,.Once we reach heaven, we'll be able to look back and see just how Jr. High it really was. We'll see things we wished we'd known then that we know now. We'll see places where we were doing better than we thought, and we'll see things we wish we could have changed. We'll realize we were surrounded by others who were going through their own Jr. High. Mostly, we'll look back and realize - we don't want to ever go back!

Life is definitely much better now than it was in Jr. High....and that gives me hope. If my life now, even with all it's trials, is that much better than Jr. High; then how much more wonderful must heaven be?

For me, this has been such an eye opener. Almost every day, I find myself laughing and saying, "It's all just Jr. High." Graduation day is going to be something else!

1 Corinthians 13:12 (Amplified Bible)

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

Murdered

Be forewarned...this one won't be a funny blog.

This has been a difficult week. A friend, a sister in Christ, was reported missing at the beginning of the week and found two days later - dead. While the local news broadcast that the body had been found, very little else was reported - which of course left room for more questions and rumors to abound. Was it suicide? Was it murder? What had happened? How?

Some felt asking the questions was wrong. They urged to offer the family privacy, which is completely understood. However, the questions continued to brew....People weren't trying to be nosey; they were scared. In addition to dealing with the death of someone known throughout the community, there was a subtle fear linked to the unknown questions of "how." Mingled with their grief was a new element - fear.

People began to look over their shoulders as they walked into the local Walmart. Returning home after dark was no longer just an ordinary event. Going for a walk in the neighborhood somehow didn't seem as casual anymore. I, personally, even considered getting a tazer for protection of me and my family. I started going into full "mama bear mode", ready to protect my babies from some unknown killer.

Then slowly, it became evident that the unthinkable had happened. My friend had taken her own life. For whatever reason, she decided that she could no longer take part in this life here on earth, and she left. Why? I don't know.

After a week of worry, I realized there was no stranger who abducted my friend and carried her away from her family and friends. There was no burglary gone wrong. There was no crime. There was no murderer for us to hunt down and bring to justice. There was ..... nothing. While my thoughts about my friend's death made me sure there must have been a murderer that took her life, the facts said she took it herself.

Then today, a thought hit me. Maybe I was right the first time...there was a murderer, a murderer as old as time who has shown his work throughout the ages. He comes to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) He fires darts toward our minds in hopes they will somehow find a chink in our armor and fester into torture no man can imagine. Then, just like any other predator, he lies to us and swears us to secrecy...telling us it's our fault we feel this way, our fault that we are broken and fighting a battle inside, our fault we aren't perfect. Just like the predators we hear about on tv, this one come in darkest hours to further torment us and pull us deeper and deeper into his captivity. And his greatest weapon - silence. He convinces us that we dare not share our thoughts with anyone. He makes very sure he keeps us "alone". This killer doesn't come in the shape of a human, but he is a killer all the same.

I wish I had known my friend was hurting, wish I had known the battle she was fighting...wish I could have helped her before she was killed. We say soft words like "she took her life", but the truth is, she was murdered...murdered by the one who would love to kill us all. Why do I think the fight is any less real when the enemy is spiritual - a being without flesh and bone? Why am I not just as ready to hunt him down in his hiding places and reveal him for the monster he is? I know that one day he will stand before the Judge and face his judgement, but in the meantime I want to make sure he doesn't find a way to kill again. I'm pretty sure buying that tazer won't protect me or my family against this enemy, but I know where to find a weapon that will....I plan on using the same sword Jesus used - the Word of God.

Wish I had some funny words to share with this blog, but there are none. Instead, I think I'll go and sharpen my sword. Oh, and one more thing....I'm going to make sure I have someone who can fight along side me...and I can fight along side them. This is not a battle I want to face alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 (Contemporary English Version)

If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.


Ephesians 6:12-17 (Contemporary English Version)

12We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. 13So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day [a] comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm. 14Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God's justice protect you like armor. 15Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. 16Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit.

I know best....I think

Ever have those times when you just wish someone would listen to you? I mean, I know best - right? I'm sure my opinion on how to do things is the best, that's why I chose it to be my opinion! If I didn't think it was best, I'd choose something else! But still no one listens - especially not my kids.
As a parent, I find myself constantly trying to tell my kids what to do. It's not that I want to boss them, I just can see things they can't see and don't want them to make some of the foolish mistakes others (including myself) have made. If they would just LISTEN, life would be SO much simpler. But they don't, at least not always. I've got to tell you, it's more than a little frustrating! I know best! I think.....
All this got me to thinking about how God deals with us. There is no question that God knows best....He knows the past, the present and the future all at the same time. He knows what our actions will bring - yet He allows us to make wrong choices all the same. Let that sink in a minute. He knows what our choices will bring, good or bad, and yet He allows us to choose all the same. He tells us the guidelines, then lets us make our own decisions. He also allows us to deal with the consequences of those decisions - good or bad. In the process, we either learn to love His direction more or get mad at Him for allowing us to make our own choices.
As a parent, I struggle with this. I want to not only tell me kids what is best, but help them out when they make wrong choices. Makes me wonder if I know what I'm doing after all. I want to save them from themselves....and in doing so I'm afraid, perhaps, I'm keeping them from really growing up at all.
There is a second part to this "allowing them to make mistakes" that is even harder - the loving them no matter what part. When they break my heart because of wrong choices, can I still love them? When they embarrass me because of their behavior, can I still love them? If they do things that bring shame to the family name, can I still embrace them in love yet never make an excuse for their behavior?
God allows us the freedom to make our own choices and loves us even when those choices break His heart. He loves us so much, He is willing to delay judgement in order that we might finally "get it" and start listening once again to Him. He loves us enough to let us make mistakes and even suffer from our own foolishness so that we can learn.
Those of us who have messed up pretty badly can recognize true love. True love holds us even when we push away. True love weeps with us over our mistakes and foolish choices, but allows us to learn in the midst of them all the same. True love is angered when we are harmed by the choices of others, but loves the "others" as much as He loves us. True love rejoices with us when we are set free and find the path we were meant to walk in this journey called life. True love knows best, and yet allows us to choose anyway.
I know best....but I don't know all. I have no idea of the wonderful things my Lord has planned for my child or those around me. All I know is that it is a plan far greater than I could ever dream of or imagine....and somehow God is using everything to work out that plan in our lives, if we will only let Him.
 Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
2 Peter 3:8-9 ^{(Message translation) "}Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change."
James 1:22-25"Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action."
Let us never forget this: Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

That's what truly knowing best and loving us all the same really means.

I hate to cook.

I admit it. I hate to cook. I know this makes me appear as less than the perfect wife and mother, but to be very honest, I've never liked cooking! I do however love to eat. My most favorite food is something prepared by someone else...and of course cleaned up by someone else. While we have a number of television shows and even an entire network dedicated to the joys of cooking, I have to wonder if I'm not the only one out there who has this aversion to food preparation. I'm thinking if I were, the number of restaurants and fast food places would be significantly LESS!

Of course, this aversion to food preparation does nothing at all for my health. I will eat a little powdered donut that contains little or no nutritional value before I will take the simple steps to scramble myself an egg. (I do, however, take the time to make the coffee! Some things just can't be skipped.) After a hard day at work, I'd much rather call in a pizza order to pick up on my way home rather than stop by the grocery and choose something to prepare, then take it home and have to cook. In a pinch, I even buy some frozen concoction that only needs to be heated in the microwave. The results, I gain weight, lose energy, and shorten my productivity considerably....and I become less and less adept in the kitchen!

I find I'm having more difficulty even knowing WHAT to prepare so that my diet has variety and value! I may look online just hoping something will tempt my taste-buds and somehow be effortless to prepare! Somehow nothing really fits both options...so if money allows, I go elsewhere and have someone 'feed' me.

This morning, however, I realized my lack of food preparation ability is not just a physical problem. I can easily fall into the same "poor diet trap" with my spiritual diet as well. I'm worn out, so it's easier to feast on the junk food provided by the television rather than pick up a book and read. The thought of picking up my Bible and actually preparing a meal from scratch never even enters my mind. I fill up instead on whatever is placed before me. I may know that it's not good for me, but I'm tired and just want to consume something. Then, just like with those little powdered donuts, I'll feel better for a moment; but it will be followed by a crash and a craving for more of what gave me my momentary high. Talk about a vicious circle!

Occasionally I may pick up some already prepared food by way of a devotional provided online or in a book. These offer nutrition that is much needed, but to be honest, I wonder how it was prepared. How did they know where to look? How did they think to combine the ingredients in this way? I like the 'taste' but I wish I knew how to prepare this for myself.

At least once a week, I go out and eat at a full meal prepared for the masses - church. It is delicious and I leave full and satisfied and happy. Too bad I won't get to eat like that again for an entire week.

I think I'm getting a bit tired of suffering spiritual malnutrition because I'm just too lazy, or afraid, to prepare my own spiritual food. It might mean I have to pass up the powdered donuts and actually dig to find the ingredients, but I'm pretty sure the Bible can provide something that is much sweeter and definitely a whole lot healthier than what the world has to offer. Maybe it's time I started to "read the labels" as it were and figure out just what kind of junk I have been consuming. I can still learn from others, but it's okay to try my hand at preparing food from scratch. I'll be sure to keep a few recipe books, (Bible dictionaries and commentaries), nearby should I get stuck on how to prepare an ingredient for the meal. I'll probably mess up a few dishes, and maybe create a disaster or two; but perhaps in the process I'll also learn how to "feed" myself.

I wonder what will happen to my spiritual energy and zest for life when I start doing this. Who knows, maybe I'll prepare something delicious and even convince my children to try their hand at doing the same!

For now, I think it's time to go and fix some breakfast. Something simple should do for a start.

Psalm 34:8~ "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
Psalm 119:103 ~"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"
1 Peter 2: 2-3 ~ "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

everything was in black and white

I still remember the where I was standing the day my class and I discussed what life was like 100 years ago. The students were naming things that they used everyday which did not exist 100 years ago. I hated to admit that they didn't even exist when I was in college, but I digress. Finally came the statement, "Everything was in black and white." I paused...."Do you mean the pictures were in black and white?" I asked. No, they thought the world was black and white.
I had to laugh and shake my head in disbelief. At first I wondered how could an 11 year old be so naive'? Then it happened again during a similar discussion...this time the students were two years older! That's when it hit me. These students were basing their conclusion on what they could see, on what they thought they "knew". In both classes, these students were assuming that since the pictures from long ago had no color, evidently the world had no color either. Yes, I know you're laughing, but these kids were sincere in their confusion. They could operate a complex computer and do advanced math, yet in that one area, their understanding was definitely flawed.
As I got to thinking more about it, I remembered that when my sister was a little girl, she got very excited that The Wizard of Oz was going to be coming on TV! She had heard that once Dorothy landed in Oz, everything turned to color! That of course must mean that our old black and white TV would be suddenly transformed and we'd have a color TV at last! Yes, the confusion existed even in my own family....because it is normal.
As an educator, we learn that children are not really capable of abstract thought up to a certain age. Oh, we may think they understand the difference in pretend and real, but probably less than we realize. Some concepts, such as spiritual ones, are very difficult for them to grasp. As children grow and mature, they reach a stage when they can make the connection....understand the "color" of the situation as it were.
What strikes me is, as adults we think we have matured past all that. We think we now understand...but do we? In the 1 Corinthians 13:12 (Message translation), it says, "We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!" We think that we understand so much about God and about the Christian walk, but do we really? We are basing what we know on our ability to understand....just as my 5th graders based their understanding on life 100 years ago based on the pictures they had seen. But God is so much beyond our comprehension!
To think that I have the audacity to try and tell God how He should go about "fixing" things. I am basing all that I know on what I can understand, and the older I get the more I realize how little I really understand!  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
All this makes me wonder how many times have I said something that makes God want to just shake His head in disbelief. In my limited knowledge, am I spouting off something that is the equivalent of thinking life used to be all in black and white? Right now, I'm feeling a bit like a five year old trying to figure out the world....and discovering, guess what - it's in color!

I did it my way....

I'm probably showing my age, but I can't hear the words "my way" without thinking of old blue eyes, Frank Sinatra. For those WAY too young to remember, he sang a song with these words:

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way


Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption


I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way


Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing


To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

In researching for this blog, I discovered that this song is credited as being the most remade song in history. People from the likes of Elvis Presley to Sid Vicious have recorded it. Snips of the song can be heard on modern films like Happy Feet and a parody of this song was sung on Sesame Street! I even found out that this is the song most often played at British funerals.

So what is it about this song that gives it such a universal appeal? I think the answer is simple....we all want it our way. Even Burger King capitalized on this theme when they came out with the commercials "Have it your way..." To be honest, we sound like a bunch of spoiled two year olds! We all want to do things "our way."

Of course we think our way is best...that's why it's our way. But what would happen if for once we quit doing things our way? Look back at some of the words of that song:
"Regrets I've had a few, But then again too few to mention"
Really? I know I've had mistakes, but the too few to mention part? Gee, I must be above average in that part because I've got a truck load of them!
"Yes there were times I'm sure you knew, When I bit off more than I could chew, But through it all when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out,"
I'm pretty sure that the things I bit off that were too big for me eventually bit back!
And finally, the most telling verse of all:
"To say the things he truly feels, And not the words of one who kneels, The record shows I took the blows, And did it my way"
The last stansa reveals the problem. We don't want to kneel....not even to the One who created us and knows the end from the beginning. We are a proud people, and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way. This is the pride that caused Lucifer to fall from heaven...the pride that says "I'll do it my way."

Maybe it's time to stop doing things our way. Look around. As I often ask my students, "So how's that working out for you..." It's obvious, our way hasn't been working out for us so well. Maybe it's time to kneel, admit we don't know the answers to everything and start doing things God's way. What would our today look like if we did this? Imagine what tomorrow could be if instead of striving, we finally learned to rest in His will and do things His way. I'm guessing this won't be easy for some of us, but I hope that one day I will be able to say:

And now the end is near, And so I face the final curtain. My friend I'll say it clear, I'll state my case of which I'm certain....I did it His way."

"I am God, the only God you've had or ever will have— incomparable, irreplaceable—From the very beginning telling you what the ending will be," Isaiah 46:10

Bad mood kind of day

The truth of the matter was I was in no mood to be in a good mood. Do you ever have days like this? I started out the day somewhat stressed and by 10 a.m. I was in full-tilt, bad-mood mode. Perhaps it had to do with the huge load of work I saw towering over me. Maybe it was the jam packed schedule that was taunting me for the next few days. It could have even been that my students were all wired for sound and it felt a bit like I was trying to herd bees. Really, I'm not sure there was a good reason why; I was just in a bad mood.
Then someone came to my room to chat. Poor person. I know they came for a shoulder of sympathy and a word of encouragement, but instead they got me. Not just me, but me in my full tilt "You've got to be kidding" sarcastic glory. They came to find a cool drink of water to go on and got a taste of some pretty rancid liquid instead.
In case you're wondering, yes, I feel pretty guilty. Oh, I've tried to reason my way out of it. I even looked in the Bible to see if Jesus ever got fed up with those around Him. I kind of think perhaps He did. Check out Matthew 17:17-18 [Message translation] - "Jesus said, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here." He ordered the afflicting demon out—and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well." Still I'm left with the problem of knowing I'm not Jesus and that when the disciples left they had actually gotten what they came for...the boy was healed. I'm pretty sure my friends just left with a bad taste in their mouths.
The fact is, I really don't have an excuse. I am called to live for Christ. Out of me there should be flowing rivers of living water, not some foul stench filled mess. Even if I think I'm having a bad day, that's no reason to let the stream become polluted with my dead attitude.
Did Jesus get aggravated with those who came to Him...the ones who should have known better? Maybe...but He didn't turn them away. He simply helped them and pointed them in the right direction: "When the disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it out?" "Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle."
Do I seriously believe that God has a purpose for me, that He has a plan and somehow my day fits into that plan? If so, then I need to say to my mountain of bad attitude, "MOVE! Stop stinking up the water!"
To be honest, my mood isn't much better this morning....but that's no excuse. I may need to do as Jesus did and get away to pray. I may need to take out the garbage of the day that as piled up in my spirit. I may need to get my eyes off myself! I may even need to ask forgiveness....but I can't allow the rivers of living water to be blocked by me.
The words to "in the Middle of Me" by Todd Agnew pretty well sum it up:

I need a little more sunshine in the middle of rain
Need a little more joy in the middle of pain
Need a little more color in the middle of this plain jane


I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me


I need a little more patience in the middle of stress
I need a little more beauty in the middle of this mess
Need a little more substance in the middle of this emptiness


I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me


Need more of You and less of me
More of You and little less insanity
More of You and little less complexity


I’ve looked as deep as I can see
It seems more of You is better for me


I need a little more rhythm in the middle of this lazy rhyme
Need a little more spontaneity in the middle of this daily grind
Need a little more truth not music in this world of lies


I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me

Here's to trying to make today a better day....no matter what may come my way.

John 7:38 (Amplified Bible)

"He who believes in Me [who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, From his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water."