Correction for whose sake?

"That's it! I've had enough!" Ever said something along those lines when having to discipline your children?  I know I have and I'm starting to realize how out of line that has been! Since when is discipline an issue of the fact that I'VE had enough? Who am I supposed to be correcting?

I've been thinking about how God corrects and disciplines me. He doesn't let me go on and on until He's good and mad and about to blow. He corrects me for ME....because He loves me. Let that sink in a moment. He corrects me because He wants me to be mature, solid, strong, successful and most of all loving. He wants the character in HIM to be in ME. I'm pretty sure when I lose it with my kids the last thing on my mind is having the character of me in them.

Discipline and correction are acts of love, not exasperation. That will change the whole tone and action of my discipline if I understand this. When I correct, it won't be because I'm exhausted (although I often am), and it won't be because I'm embarassed by their behavior (although I often am). When I correct, it will be out of love for them. According to 1 Corinthians 13, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." This sounds like a pretty good way to approach correction my own children and those in my care.

Maybe we should look at some of the problems in our country right now as a result of a lack of love. If we truly love those around us, it doesn't make us soft and easily walked over. Love makes us strong because it is TOUGH to stand firm and say no sometimes. It shows love to deny the every passing demand of a child because we look not at their present desires but forward to what is best for them.

I know I will make mistakes in this....I am not God. Still, I want to look at the things I do for and with my children with their future in mind. I look for ways to say "yes" to them, but I also look for ways to help them learn from their mistakes....just like God does for me.

Loving correction isn't done for me....it's not because I've "had enough" of their bad behavior. It is done for them that they might have life and have it abundantly. That makes firm correction a lot easier to both give and receive. I'm actually not handing out "punishment", I'm handing out "love." What a difference that makes. (Not sure my children will see it that way, but children often don't see things clearly until they have grown and matured....which is my goal in the process.) I am not here for my children's comfort. I am here for their character, and that may mean they feel some "discomfort" along the way.

Wish I could say I will never again correct out of my need for peace and quiet, but I know that probably I will slip and say "I've had enough...." Still, I'm making progress. My Father has been correcting my way of thinking. He corrected me out of His unfailing love to see me mature and to care for His children.

Who says you can't teach an old gal new tricks? I'm holding on to this one because I see the difference it makes in me and those around me. Don't think I'll ever really get "enough" of that.

Proverbs 3:11-12 (Message)
"But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this."

Hebrews 12:4-11 The Message (MSG)

^4-11"In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God."

As long as I don't look in the mirror....

I have no idea how it happened. I was just minding my own business and somehow an old woman came and took my body hostage. The thing is, it happened so gradually I didn't notice. I was busy being a mom and a teacher and learning about God and who I am and then one day I looked around and my children were looking very grown up. This did catch my attention because I knew I hadn't changed. Oh sure, I noticed my pants felt a little more snug than they had and I had aches and pains now and then; but I knew I was still just a little over 28 years old, still discovering just how much God truly loves me and finding my way in the world. In my head, I'm still just a girl; and I can pretty much keep that delusion going until I pass a mirror. That's when things get ugly. Instead of that young girl, an old(er) woman is staring back at me. What's even scarier is that she looks a lot like my mom! Wow. When did that happen?

To be honest, I find that I'm avoiding those mirrors now days. I'd rather live in the delusion in my head of who I am and who I've become....but sometimes you just have to give a good stare. I mean, I have to fix my hair in the morning. I have to make sure my shirt (and not my skirt) is tucked in when I leave the restroom. I have to make sure I don't have spinach caught on my teeth after lunch. Sometimes you have to take a good look at who you really are.

The Bible talks about how we look into a mirror and then promptly forget what we've seen. We seem to be more content with who we like to believe we are than what is really there. But that mirror is important. It reminds us how much we truly need a Savior. It reminds us that this life is but a breath and there is so much more to look forward to. It reminds me to put my trust in Him. That mirror helps me see myself not as I think I am, but for what I truly have become. Those lines on my face...do they mark laughter or frowns? The gray in my hair, does it speak of wisdom or fatigue? Do I stand strong and filled with hope, or am I hunched over with the weight of worry and fear? Do I see what others see?

I try to tell myself that mirrors aren't all bad. Thanks to mirrors, I don't walk around in a mini skirt thinking I still have the legs of an 18 year old. (Makes me kind of wonder if some people even OWN mirrors.)  I don't walk out in public with my skirt tucked into my underwear. Thanks to my mirror, my teeth, while not magazine model white, at least don't have spinach on them. (Oh who am I kidding...at least they don't have chocolate cookies on them!)  My mirror also helps me work on areas that, to be honest, need work! And my mirror helps me to grasp just brief this life on earth truly is.

For now, I will try not to dread looking in that mirror . I want to see what others see when they look at me.  I will also be honest and admit that it makes me happier than ever that God looks not on the outward appearance, but at my heart. Hmmmm, I wonder if that heart looks as young as it feels?

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Cor. 13:12

"Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like." James 1:22-24 (The Message)

Welcome to Jr. High

I am one of the lucky few in the world. I actually get to spend at least 8 hours of every day smack dab in the middle of Jr. High. I can almost hear you gasp in amazement. I know, you are jealous. You wish YOU could spend each day knee deep in drama, hormones, pimple cream and books. It's almost like living in a green house of emotions! Nothing is ever minor. It's just one big life crisis after another. It's just so - Jr. High!

Truthfully, I don't think I've ever met anyone who would willingly go back to their life during the Jr. High years. Just the mention of the words are enough to make grown men shudder and seemingly confident women break out is a cold sweat! It's almost as if when they escaped that time period they were set free! The one thing they knew was that they NEVER wanted to go back.

I recently asked my students what were the toughest parts of being in Jr. High and the answers ranged from pressure from parents to pressure from friends. They deal with mean girls/guys and tests and tough teachers and fickle friends. They are tired and excited and bored and frightened....sometimes all in the same day. In addition, the expectations of those around them seem to, at times, overwhelm these young teenagers. I think every day must be one constant battle of learning who they are and what they can and cannot do. They feel more grown up than they are and yet at times lapse back into being just a kid. They try to wrap their minds around lessons in math, language, history, computers and science all while juggling moods that can be far more frightening than the Tower of Terror roller coaster ride. Oh, and just to make things more interesting,  they are surrounded by hundreds of others dealing with the very same things. Oh yeah, Jr. High is one wonderful/rough place to be.

So often I want to tell my students to just hang in there. Jr. High is NOT the real world. It will be over soon! Yes, they may be dealing with difficult people, even difficult teachers, but it won't last forever. Before they realize it, it will be over and they will move on. The things that seem so huge today won't even be a blip on the radar of their lives in a few years.

And then I heard it. That nudging voice of the Lord inside me saying "That's what I've been trying to tell you." I am still stunned when I think of the simplicity of those words because right then it hit me....it's all just "Jr. High."

The things I am dealing with, which may be tough, are still really just a stage of life. They will pass far more quickly than I realize and I'll move on. My goal is heaven...that's what's really real. Everything else is just Jr. High,.Once we reach heaven, we'll be able to look back and see just how Jr. High it really was. We'll see things we wished we'd known then that we know now. We'll see places where we were doing better than we thought, and we'll see things we wish we could have changed. We'll realize we were surrounded by others who were going through their own Jr. High. Mostly, we'll look back and realize - we don't want to ever go back!

Life is definitely much better now than it was in Jr. High....and that gives me hope. If my life now, even with all it's trials, is that much better than Jr. High; then how much more wonderful must heaven be?

For me, this has been such an eye opener. Almost every day, I find myself laughing and saying, "It's all just Jr. High." Graduation day is going to be something else!

1 Corinthians 13:12 (Amplified Bible)

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

everything was in black and white

I still remember the where I was standing the day my class and I discussed what life was like 100 years ago. The students were naming things that they used everyday which did not exist 100 years ago. I hated to admit that they didn't even exist when I was in college, but I digress. Finally came the statement, "Everything was in black and white." I paused...."Do you mean the pictures were in black and white?" I asked. No, they thought the world was black and white.
I had to laugh and shake my head in disbelief. At first I wondered how could an 11 year old be so naive'? Then it happened again during a similar discussion...this time the students were two years older! That's when it hit me. These students were basing their conclusion on what they could see, on what they thought they "knew". In both classes, these students were assuming that since the pictures from long ago had no color, evidently the world had no color either. Yes, I know you're laughing, but these kids were sincere in their confusion. They could operate a complex computer and do advanced math, yet in that one area, their understanding was definitely flawed.
As I got to thinking more about it, I remembered that when my sister was a little girl, she got very excited that The Wizard of Oz was going to be coming on TV! She had heard that once Dorothy landed in Oz, everything turned to color! That of course must mean that our old black and white TV would be suddenly transformed and we'd have a color TV at last! Yes, the confusion existed even in my own family....because it is normal.
As an educator, we learn that children are not really capable of abstract thought up to a certain age. Oh, we may think they understand the difference in pretend and real, but probably less than we realize. Some concepts, such as spiritual ones, are very difficult for them to grasp. As children grow and mature, they reach a stage when they can make the connection....understand the "color" of the situation as it were.
What strikes me is, as adults we think we have matured past all that. We think we now understand...but do we? In the 1 Corinthians 13:12 (Message translation), it says, "We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!" We think that we understand so much about God and about the Christian walk, but do we really? We are basing what we know on our ability to understand....just as my 5th graders based their understanding on life 100 years ago based on the pictures they had seen. But God is so much beyond our comprehension!
To think that I have the audacity to try and tell God how He should go about "fixing" things. I am basing all that I know on what I can understand, and the older I get the more I realize how little I really understand!  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
All this makes me wonder how many times have I said something that makes God want to just shake His head in disbelief. In my limited knowledge, am I spouting off something that is the equivalent of thinking life used to be all in black and white? Right now, I'm feeling a bit like a five year old trying to figure out the world....and discovering, guess what - it's in color!