Correction for whose sake?

"That's it! I've had enough!" Ever said something along those lines when having to discipline your children?  I know I have and I'm starting to realize how out of line that has been! Since when is discipline an issue of the fact that I'VE had enough? Who am I supposed to be correcting?

I've been thinking about how God corrects and disciplines me. He doesn't let me go on and on until He's good and mad and about to blow. He corrects me for ME....because He loves me. Let that sink in a moment. He corrects me because He wants me to be mature, solid, strong, successful and most of all loving. He wants the character in HIM to be in ME. I'm pretty sure when I lose it with my kids the last thing on my mind is having the character of me in them.

Discipline and correction are acts of love, not exasperation. That will change the whole tone and action of my discipline if I understand this. When I correct, it won't be because I'm exhausted (although I often am), and it won't be because I'm embarassed by their behavior (although I often am). When I correct, it will be out of love for them. According to 1 Corinthians 13, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." This sounds like a pretty good way to approach correction my own children and those in my care.

Maybe we should look at some of the problems in our country right now as a result of a lack of love. If we truly love those around us, it doesn't make us soft and easily walked over. Love makes us strong because it is TOUGH to stand firm and say no sometimes. It shows love to deny the every passing demand of a child because we look not at their present desires but forward to what is best for them.

I know I will make mistakes in this....I am not God. Still, I want to look at the things I do for and with my children with their future in mind. I look for ways to say "yes" to them, but I also look for ways to help them learn from their mistakes....just like God does for me.

Loving correction isn't done for me....it's not because I've "had enough" of their bad behavior. It is done for them that they might have life and have it abundantly. That makes firm correction a lot easier to both give and receive. I'm actually not handing out "punishment", I'm handing out "love." What a difference that makes. (Not sure my children will see it that way, but children often don't see things clearly until they have grown and matured....which is my goal in the process.) I am not here for my children's comfort. I am here for their character, and that may mean they feel some "discomfort" along the way.

Wish I could say I will never again correct out of my need for peace and quiet, but I know that probably I will slip and say "I've had enough...." Still, I'm making progress. My Father has been correcting my way of thinking. He corrected me out of His unfailing love to see me mature and to care for His children.

Who says you can't teach an old gal new tricks? I'm holding on to this one because I see the difference it makes in me and those around me. Don't think I'll ever really get "enough" of that.

Proverbs 3:11-12 (Message)
"But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this."

Hebrews 12:4-11 The Message (MSG)

^4-11"In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God."

Little gods and goddesses

I had a thought today. In our world of making sure that every child has a healthy self-esteem, we may have in fact created a generation that believes they are little gods and goddesses. Hear me out before you think I'm on a rant against young people....to tell the truth, I'm not sure I haven't fallen into the same trap!

I am a parent and have been blessed with two absolutely amazing and beautiful children...who are in fact very human. As a loving parent, however, I have at times forgotten that. It is a part of a parent's nature to want to protect their children....to help them forgo the mistakes and have a life that is better than the one the parents grew up with.  Should they experience disappointment, we want to wash it away....mainly because nothing hurts quite as much as when your children hurt. We love them and would do anything for them.....just as if they were a god. Whoops....did I just admit that?


Teachers are beginning to see the result of this god complex in their classrooms more and more each day. There have always been students who felt that the rules "didn't apply to them", but now there seem to be more than before. We teach children to stand up for themselves when they feel something isn't right - that is a good thing. However, a child thinks like a child and usually when they do something - they feel that it is right. That in turn makes the rules "wrong." They feel the right to argue about everything. I am trying to help my own children overcome this god mentality I have inadvertantly saddled them with. I heard once the phrase - "Obey first and then we'll talk about it." I don't want my children to blindly obey, but I don't want them to feel that they don't have to obey either!

As an adult, I suffer from the "god-complex" as well. Like many Christians, I feel like bad things shouldn't happen to me. I want everything to be peachy keen because, after all, I am a child of the Most Hight God! Right?

I tend to skim over passages that include things like Christ followers being thrown into prison (Paul), stoned (Stephen), and even crucified upside down (the disciples). I focus on the ones that say tell me God works all things for good for those who are called according to His purpose. I tend to forget that "good" does not always mean pleasant. I mean, come on! Liver is good for me, but it is definitely not pleasant!

As a nation, a family, and a person, I need to remember that God's ways are higher than my ways. He created everything and sees yesterday, today and tomorrow at the same time. He sees the completed picture, not just today's brush stroke. He loves me and I am His.....that means I need to obey. Oh, I can ask questions...but first I must obey.

If I really do believe He is God, then I must trust Him even when I do not understand. Truth be told - I am not a goddess....not even a little one. I have been adopted through the mercy and goodness of a sacrifice. Oh yeah, remember that? The one and only TRUE son of God was abused and crucified so that we might have the right to be called a child of God. I don't know about you....but that makes me stop and think.

As a child of God, I will always be loved; but I may not always be comfortable. I will always be accepted, but I may not always be protected from pain. I will one day be in heaven where there is no suffering, but first I have to live here on earth. The fact is, life here can sometimes get tough. Through it all, I will be loved.

So that's my rant for the day. Hope your day is filled with joy and peace and happiness....but in case it's not; rest in the knowledge that you are still loved and a child of God....and that will be enough.


Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Remember when parents used to say "I'm doing this for your own good"? It made me look at Romans 8:28 in a new light...."And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."



For a more lengthy passage about God's thoughts, check out Job 38 - 42. (Link provided here)