Lately, I've been hearing this phrase pop up in conversations more and more..."just don't fit." I heard it from my daughter as I watched her try to find her "place" at school, from a friend as she talked about how her daughter tried but just couldn't seem to "fit" with their youth group, and then I heard it from another friend about her daughter. Each girl is very different, yet if you looked at them you'd think they would 'fit' in anywhere. They have lots of friends, people who love them, etc, but they each feel as if they don't fit. Then it hit me....I had heard this same phrase in conversations with adult women about themselves! They were uncomfortably admitting that they just didn't feel like they fit in.
Wow. I can understand why teenage girls feel that way sometimes, after all - they are in high school (a place I truly wish I could somehow fast-forward my own children through!) But to hear my adult women friends say this too, well, it got me thinking. Evidently it's not just our daughters that feel like things just don't fit. So I sat and tried to figure out what is wrong.
I know that in today's society we are going in such a rush that we have little time to feel connected. We are all like a bunch of spinning tops, occasionally bumping into each other but rarely if ever truly connecting. It reminds me of my son's Beyblades. You wind them up as fast as you possibly can and then pull the zip cord to watch them bump furiously into each other and then back into the boundries around them. Eventually they run out of spin and fall helpless to the floor. I know I've felt a lot like I was spinning lately!
It also reminded me of something I realized during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, five years ago. While that hurricane brought huge devastation, it also forced us all to stop for a while...and to be honest - it was good. Before the hurricane we were all on treadmills going as fast as we possibly could go. While we might have thought about stepping off, we couldn't without falling flat on our faces. Have you ever tried to "step off" a treadmill at top speed? Plus, if we had - it would have done no good because the rest of the world was still on their treadmills! But when the hurricane came, it "unplugged" all the treadmills. We all stopped. Neighbors renewed friendships with neighbors, families spent time with families, we all spent time just being for a while. True, it was tough. We were in survival mode, but somehow we came through it stronger. Then someone turned the treadmills back on and we all started running again....side by side, but at a pace that didn't allow for conversation or friendships.
So, perhaps it is the pace of life that causes us to feel like we don't fit in...but I think it's really something more. I think, perhaps, it is a holy discontent within...that feeling that something is missing. We point a finger outward and try to figure out why we don't fit in our school, church, etc. just like when the clothes in my closet no longer fit I try to blame stress, age, even the washing machine (which must have shrunk them) but really it's just me. The problem isn't out there; it's inside me!
I heard it said that men find their identity in what they do, but women find theirs in being appreciated and accepted for who they are. We want to feel loved for who we are...it doesn't matter if you are the head cheerleader or the artist or the athlete or the girl named most likely to succeed, or the girl who thinks she really doesn't have a niche. We want to feel special just for who we are. Deep inside, all of us feel like we don't fit until we find our acceptance in Christ. I'm not talking about salvation....it's more than that. It is a sold out discipleship. A holy discontent with life that drives us to Christ to find our place in Him. It's that look from our Heavenly Father that let's us know we are special to Him. To borrow the words from a song by Jason Gray, it's got to be, " More like falling in love than something to believe in; More like losing my heart than giving my allegiance; Caught up, called out - come take a look at me now..."
So what's the point? The point is I think we're all pretty much in the same boat. We all have times we feel like we just don't fit but we never say it cause we feel like we're the only ones....but we're not. The woman next to you in the church pew or serving with you on the PTA or in line next to you in the grocery store - they probably all feel just like you. Why, I bet even those fancy movie stars and models feel that way! We are all just like those teenage girls in high school feeling like we just don't fit - that is until we find our place, our approval, our fit in Christ. Then maybe, just maybe, we realize we're all feeling the same way long enough to stop spinning and help each other find the way.
We're all in this together....know that at least one other person is truly praying that you find where you fit in Christ and the contentment of knowing your truly "belong". While I'm at it, I'll throw in a prayer that all your clothes fit a little better too - even your skinny jeans! Of course, that would take a miracle!
Never ended a blog this way, but I love you guys....we're all in this together. {hugs to all}
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