It all started with an exercise class with a friend. I have to admit I was really excited about the class; after all I have been making some real progress in getting "in shape." Oh, let's be honest - I was getting downright cocky. True, I am over 50 years old, but I've been really hitting the gym and pushing myself for a while now. I'm back to running and I can actually see a little muscle tone...only a little, but enough to get excited about. That's why I looked forward to this morning's class with a friend.
I thought I was prepared...ate my oatmeal and everything. I told myself not to use too much weight since I've never tried this particular class before. I looked around at the people in the class. I knew I could do it if they could. Some were almost as old as me...most were a lot younger. That didn't matter - I was determined to do every move...but today my body had other things in mind.
About half way through the class, I realized I was having a little trouble keeping up. I felt kind of weak. Then, I started having trouble seeing. Sort of like being in a movie complete with the distorted faces talking to you out of the tunnel. I was experiencing a drop in my blood sugar like I'd never experienced before. I made my way to the car and my peanut butter crackers.
I'm fine now. I little worn out, but fine....and I'm humbled.
The problem, as I can see it, is that I started over-estimating my ability and that I started looking around. Mainly that I started looking around.
I know this because of where my mind was this morning. Just this morning I was driving to the gym and wondering how other people get to take wonderful vacations and drive new vehicles and do things for their kids and we can't. I want to live that kind of life, too.
I lay in my bed last night and wondered why others seem to have perfect houses with beautiful bedrooms and I have worn out furniture and bits and pieces that were passed down - usually because they were no longer wanted. (My chest of drawers was actually rescued from a friend who was about to put it out for the trash men.)
Funny, I never seem to "compare" myself with those who have less and realize just how blessed I am. You get the picture....I stopped looking at what I have as a blessing and started wanting what "everybody else" has. I started wondering why I can't be like somebody else. I listen to what others are doing in their "exercise" program and I want to be doing the same thing...forgetting that I am as much as 20 years older than them or that they have been working at it a lot longer. I forgot that I am not them - nor are they me. This, by the way, is a formula for failure.
My failure in that exercise class this morning could be blamed on diabetes, but I am humbled when I realize it is just a symptom of something more. It was evidence that I am still out of balance in my life. I am still trying to do what everybody else does and forgetting I am not called to live their life at all.
I have no real conclusion for today's blog....I just know that today I was humbled.
1 Peter 5:6
The Message (MSG)
6-7So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.
The Message (MSG)
7-10So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master [humble yourself]; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.
The Message (MSG)
1-5 Keep and live out the entire commandment that I'm commanding you today so that you'll live and prosper and enter and own the land that God promised to your ancestors. Remember every road that God led you on for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that he would know what you were made of, whether you would keep his commandments or not. He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don't live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God's mouth. Your clothes didn't wear out and your feet didn't blister those forty years. You learned deep in your heart that God disciplines you in the same ways a father disciplines his child.