Today I did something I rarely ever do...I went through the McDonald's drive through for a coffee and an egg mcmuffin. My daughter was getting her hair cut and it was going to take a while so I thought I'd splurge. I pulled up to the screen and ordered a small latte and then since I hadn't had breakfast I decided to order something to eat. I looked for whatever was cheapest, but decided this once I'd go all out and get their "signature" breakfast sandwich.
As I pulled around, I was thinking about the fact that I'd just spent unnecessary money. I started to think through what bills I needed to pay later in the day and work through each one in my head. Since it's the first of the month and I've just been paid, the list started with my tithe. It was then that the conversation with God began.
As a "mature" Christian, I'm not supposed to still struggle with tithing, but people who read my blog know I'm brutally honest about my own struggles. When it comes to tithing - I know I need to do this, but with the economy like it is, my mind starts the argument once again. I realize I should trust God to provide for our needs, but it's tough sometimes. That's pretty much what I said to God..."I know I'm supposed to trust but it's tough sometimes."
I then pulled up to window to pay for my splurge of coffee and an Egg McMuffin only to have the cashier tell me it had been paid for. What? I was speechless. I sat there with my mouth hanging open. The people ahead of me had paid my bill. I have no idea who they were or if we even knew each other! The cashier told me they have that happen quite often. I was completely floored! I accepted my food and shook my head in awe.
I was overwhelmed with the kindness of a complete stranger, but as I drove away it hit me. I had just been talking to God about how hard it was to trust for all my needs...and here He had used some sweet person to not only provide for my needs, but for a want as well!
I'm still in the middle of this "conversation" with God. I will be taking my tithe check with me to church in the morning, but I'm still working on understanding what is going on in me. I obviously need to grow in my "faith" and trust that God will provide. Guess it's another part of that "American" Christian idea where I'm determined to do it myself. In me, there is no good thing. It looks like I still have a lot of growing to do.
Oh, and thank you so much to whoever it was who bought my breakfast this morning. You've caused me to want to turn around and bless someone else today....and to trust God a whole lot more.
Romans 7:18 - For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]
Malachi 3:10 - Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.