Monday, April 6, 2015

not my kids....

"Not my kids...." 

I have actually sat in meetings with parents where they have said those words. One parent went so far as to say her child does not lie. You can be proud of me. I successfully resisted the urge to go over and shake her hand and say I was so happy to finally meet the mother of Jesus....but I did think it! Yep, as a teacher, "not my kid" are words I really hate to hear come out of a parent's mouth, so rest assured, this blog will not take that direction.

Let me begin by saying I have loved being a parent.....well, most of the time. 

However, there is a period of time - usually around 16 or 17 - when parenting becomes NOT so pleasant. When your teens are convinced you are the stupidest parent on earth and everyone else has MUCH cooler parents and if you'd just step out of the way, their life would be SO much better. Needless to say, I am in the middle of those teen years. It is then that I am thankful I can say, "Not my kids." 

Since my children are adopted, you might take that phrase the wrong way. I am in no way saying these children aren't mine to love and, at times, endure. As a teacher, you already know I'm not living in denial that my children are somehow beyond reproach. Nope, this is a different way of looking at that is helping me hold on to my sanity.

With both my daughter (who has now circled round to having some common sense again) and now with my son, I have had to fully give them over to God. I can remember distinctly where my foot fell during a run when I turned my daughter over to Him and basically said, "that's it. I can't do this. She is Yours." I could almost hear the response. "That's what I've been waiting on all along."

I'd love to say things got better immediately, but they didn't. They did, however, get better. She is actually fun to be with now and on the eve of her moving out on her own, I find myself sad to see her go. I also feel confident that she will return for visits as not only my daughter, but my friend.

My son....well, let's just say I'm still in the teenage years with him!

The phrase "not my kids" actually refers to giving my children back to God. I dedicated both my children when they were babies, but as any parents know parenting is a continual process, sometimes a painful one.

The other day after a particularly stressful time with my son, I went for a run. (I have heard people say they run because punching people is frowned upon. Sometimes I feel like I run because I wouldn't look good in an orange jumpsuit!) Anyway, on this run I realized it was time once again to turn my child back over to God. That's when the phrase, "not my kid" came back to mind, only in a very different way. 

Now, when the enemy comes after my son, I am able to think about things more calmly. Not only is my child not mine, he is God's...and the enemy REALLY doesn't want to mess with God! God is not only able to keep my son, but He is more than able to squash anyone who comes after him. While the enemy might actually enjoy the idea of beating me up to get to my child, he's not quite as eager to take on God!

When God says, "not my kid..." it takes on a whole new meaning.  (Picture yourself hiding behind John Wayne or Clint Eastwood and they are staring at the bad guy and saying those words as in 'you better not mess with my kid'! And no doubt, God is MUCH tougher than both of them put together!)  

Nothing can separate my son from the love of Christ.

Parenting my son is still very difficult at times...but knowing that he's "not my kid" but belongs to God allows me to step back and trust that God is in control. He can handle it; I don't have to.

Why share this? Simply because somewhere out there, there is another parent who is raising a teenager and at their wits end. Or maybe they are looking at their own life and wondering how they'll make it through. We continue to pray and stand in the gap and then remember, they are "not mine."

We can look to our Father and know that He has got this. We are His and He is able....

Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)

17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:27-28 (NIV)

27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

1 comment:

Jennie said...

In response to this I say: My Child! Yep, that's right!