We drove to school in different cars. He met me in line and obviously wanted to "get this over with" so he could get his schedule, and pick his parking spot. I was merely a necessity with a wallet and the signatures he needed to complete the process.
We did get him registered some of his friends came up to me to say hello. I thought back to the year I had taught a number of his friends while he was just down the hall in my co-teacher's class. That was the year he warmed up to the idea of having a mother who was a teacher because his friends actually LIKED me. I remember the spontaneous hugs I would get from him when he was in middle school and my heart warms...and breaks at the same time.
Now, he is a senior. He is pretty sure he is ready to be on his own. Oh, he still loves me, but I'm certain he'd prefer if I stayed in my corner and didn't come near his world....unless of course he needs something. I know he does still want me there sometimes because the other day I was making some plans that he thought might mean I would miss a part of one of his football games and he was visibly concerned. What? You mean you won't be watching me? I have to be watching and cheering, just not interfering! LOL!
But from what I understand, this is a part of having a teenage boy. He is growing and getting ready to leave the nest and this is a part of the separation process. But it doesn't mean I like it.
Then I started to listen to that small voice that says, "Pay attention."
I started to wonder how many times I have been just like my son.
Have I gotten to the place when I only talk to my Father when I "need" something? Do I speak to Him out of necessity and forget to give those spontaneous hugs that warm my Father's heart? Have I reached the point where I think I'm "grown."
I am thinking I need to go back to being a child myself.
When I got home, I saw a precious video of a child and his father. The little boy was in his little car seat just talking away to his dad and playing his tambourine. Some of you may have seen this on facebook. He was basically preaching and talking to his dad with every breath.
The more I watched this video, the more I decided this must be what Jesus meant when He said we needed to come as a little child. The conversation, the laughter, the way the child quotes back words to his father that I have to believe his father first said to him. Maybe this is what Jesus meant when he said to come as a child.
This week I registered my child for school for the last time. The next time we do anything like this, he will be entering college and a whole new experience for both of us. Through it all, I will relish those rare moments when my son spontaneously turns and gives me a hug or actually INTRODUCES me to one of his friends as though I am someone he is proud to love, rather than someone he HAS to.
And I will do my best to learn to do the same with my Heavenly Father.
I want to become as a little child....because I'm starting to understand how much it warms my Father's heart.
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