My views on exercise have changed...

"Target your thighs", "get rid of belly fat," "lose x pounds in 30 days..." seems like this type of headline appears on a regular basis in my newsfeed, especially right after the new year begins. I know that a lot of that is thanks to articles I have previously visited, but lately, I've noticed that my reaction to them has changed. Maybe it's age, maybe it's fatigue, maybe it's even contentment - all I know is that most of these headlines mean very little to me anymore. My views on exercise have definitely changed.

Now, the one on belly fat does catch my eye because I'm too cheap to buy new clothes so I really need to work on this one, but my reasoning for reading the other articles on exercise has definitely taken a different turn. 

No longer do I care so much what I "look" like...now I just want to be able to move. Age seems determined to slow me down, inhibit my movement, and keep me from doing all that I feel like God has for me to do, and that is NOT okay. I don't really care if I look good in a swimsuit (okay, so I care a little) but I do care a LOT if I can't sing and dance through a session of Children's Church without getting winded. I care if my knees won't allow me to kneel by a student's desk to help them with a problem. I care that it's hard to sit down and then get up off the floor so playing with children is limited. I care that I walk like I'm in pain (because I am) and it slows me down. I care that lifting groceries into that old lady's car at Walmart makes my back hurt a bit. I care because I know God's not finished with me yet - I know that because I'm still here!

Lately, I've been working on getting back to exercise but now I have a different reason than in the past. Before I may have said it was for "health" purposes, but honestly, I cared a LOT about how I looked and I think I had something to "prove." Now I think I'm a bit more concerned that I can simply get around.

The other day I saw an older woman, (honestly, she was probably about my age!) at Walmart and she was having difficulty getting her groceries into her car. I stopped and asked to help and she graciously accepted. I lifted the rather large container filled with groceries she had just purchased into her back seat - I noticed how heavy it was and wondered how she'd get it into her house. I held out my arm for her to balance so she could get off the electric cart and slowly move into the driver's seat. I waited as she maneuvered herself behind the wheel and then offered to put the cart up so that she could back out of the parking space. (Let's be honest - I've always wanted to ride on one of those carts!) She had to instruct me on how to make the cart move and after a couple of tries, I managed to "hot-wheel" it into the store. It was one of the most frustrating experiences I've had in a while. I had NO IDEA that those carts move so slow!

Now, I have nothing against those who need to use these carts for assistance - I just realize even more that I really do NOT want to be one of them, so now exercise has taken on a new meaning! I even noticed a change in my thinking...I used to say I wanted to retire in the next five years, but I'm thinking that may stretch out a bit. Who says at 65 you have to slow down? I want to RUN the race God has set out for me. I want to run all the way across the finish line...or at the very least, walk at a fast clip! 

So yeah, now I see exercise in a very different way. I don't care if my "thighs look good" - I want to be sure my legs are strong enough for the days ahead. I don't care how my back looks or if I have "shapely shoulders" - I want them to be strong enough to help others. I don't care if I finish first in a 5k - I just want to be able to participate in life! Wrinkles - yeah, I have those too but hopefully, the light of Jesus shines in my eyes enough that people don't really notice those.

I guess what I'm saying is that now exercise isn't so much about me anymore...it's more about helping those around me. I doubt anyone will ever write books about my "wisdom" or "spirituality" but I can at least help lift a few groceries or play with my students a bit. I want to be "in on" all that God has for me every single day till the day He says I'm done. 

Now...it's time to get out of my recliner and go for a run...or at least a very vigorous walk - because now I have a reason far greater than me.

1 Corinthians 9:19-27 Message)

19-23 Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

24-25 You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

26-27 I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash - I have no idea why this picture called to me for this blog, but it certainly did!

Look at me...

Today as I was reading a devotional from Our Daily Bread, one of those random thoughts came. The devotional, titled "Eyes Tightly Shut" by Kirsten Holmberg, recounted an event with her nephew where he thought if he couldn't see her, she couldn't see him or what he had done wrong. 

The article got me thinking about times I have tried to talk to my students or even my own children and I've had to repeatedly say, "Look at me." No, I'm not talking about saying it in anger or demanding in any way, but the times I've said it because I desperately want them to see in my eyes that I was not angry, but that I loved them. It did not change the fact that I needed to correct what they were doing, but I wanted them to see that my motivation was love for them.

I wonder, how often have I failed to look to God or in His Word for fear of correction? Or maybe it's fear of punishment - there is a difference you know. Come to think of it, punishment is usually what happens as a consequence of my actions when I don't seek Him. Punishment that comes, not from God, but from the way my defiance makes me feel inside. The feelings of failure, of imminent doom, of self-hatred - those all hover trying to make me look away from God. Yet, still, I hear Him say, "Donna - look at Me." 

I want to hear the love in his voice that I know is there but my own shame and self-hatred yells so much louder..."Don't look! Hang your head! Harden your heart so it won't hurt!" I see this in my students when I say those words - "look at me."

If only I could make them hear my tone along with the words. Tone is pretty important, you know. It can take words and make them have TOTALLY different meanings! The words "look at me" aren't being said as a demand, but as a plea - a plea of love. 

In my students, I also see pride - not the good kind, but the kind that makes it so difficult for them to admit wrong. They point their fingers at those around them, or circumstances, or ANYTHING other than admit they are wrong. They don't realize that all those excuses set up a barrier to change...to growth...to freedom. They see them as reasons they fail instead of seeing them as walls they build themselves that keep them imprisoned in fear and anger and failure. All because they refuse to listen to the words of love calling, "Look at Me."

I've got a lot to learn myself. The areas of my life that I try to "fix" on my own and all the while God calls, "Look at Me." It's not a cruel demand, but a call of love. I want to learn to listen to His tone and understand that when I release my pride, instead of shame and guilt I find freedom to live.

We all know the verse John 3:16, but it's the verses that follow that came to mind with this blog. With them, I can hear my loving Father calling out, "Look at Me." It's time to turn with eyes wide open to Him.

John 3:17-18 The Message (MSG)

16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash