The article got me thinking about times I have tried to talk to my students or even my own children and I've had to repeatedly say, "Look at me." No, I'm not talking about saying it in anger or demanding in any way, but the times I've said it because I desperately want them to see in my eyes that I was not angry, but that I loved them. It did not change the fact that I needed to correct what they were doing, but I wanted them to see that my motivation was love for them.
I wonder, how often have I failed to look to God or in His Word for fear of correction? Or maybe it's fear of punishment - there is a difference you know. Come to think of it, punishment is usually what happens as a consequence of my actions when I don't seek Him. Punishment that comes, not from God, but from the way my defiance makes me feel inside. The feelings of failure, of imminent doom, of self-hatred - those all hover trying to make me look away from God. Yet, still, I hear Him say, "Donna - look at Me."
I want to hear the love in his voice that I know is there but my own shame and self-hatred yells so much louder..."Don't look! Hang your head! Harden your heart so it won't hurt!" I see this in my students when I say those words - "look at me."
If only I could make them hear my tone along with the words. Tone is pretty important, you know. It can take words and make them have TOTALLY different meanings! The words "look at me" aren't being said as a demand, but as a plea - a plea of love.
In my students, I also see pride - not the good kind, but the kind that makes it so difficult for them to admit wrong. They point their fingers at those around them, or circumstances, or ANYTHING other than admit they are wrong. They don't realize that all those excuses set up a barrier to change...to growth...to freedom. They see them as reasons they fail instead of seeing them as walls they build themselves that keep them imprisoned in fear and anger and failure. All because they refuse to listen to the words of love calling, "Look at Me."
I've got a lot to learn myself. The areas of my life that I try to "fix" on my own and all the while God calls, "Look at Me." It's not a cruel demand, but a call of love. I want to learn to listen to His tone and understand that when I release my pride, instead of shame and guilt I find freedom to live.
We all know the verse John 3:16, but it's the verses that follow that came to mind with this blog. With them, I can hear my loving Father calling out, "Look at Me." It's time to turn with eyes wide open to Him.
John 3:17-18 The Message (MSG)
16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.
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