I. Am. Loud.
I know! I am as shocked as you are! Who would have guessed?
Just kidding. Of course, I know I'm loud. What has changed, is that I have now come to realize this is simply a part of who I am. I don't always like it, but it's not something I can really change. You wouldn't go up to someone who was over 6 feet tall and tell them they should really try to be shorter, would you? But we tell people who are loud that they should be quieter all the time. Or less animated...or less them.
The thing is I now believe that my loudness is a part of who God created me to be. I know that I have been loud my entire life. For years I have tried to be "quieter" or "better" or "less" - and when I do, I am miserable. It takes constant work and before I know it I fail and once again I am, well, loud!
As I have grown older (much older) I find that I can, at times, be appropriately quiet. I'm learning to control the gift of volume that I have been given. But sometimes, like when I am teaching, well - then I can be kind of loud! The difference is, now I have learned to accept that loud is a part of how God made me. As I reach the final years of my career, I've discovered that it might be one of my stronger gifts. It does, after all, have a way of capturing kids' attention. But, it's not always an acceptable characteristic to have.
I'm starting to understand that while the world may not accept the gifts God gives, He does so without repentance. That means He doesn't regret making you the way you are. Are you shy, or loud, or argumentative, or dramatic, or introverted, or extroverted, or an INFP, INFJ, ME or whatever the latest personality test reveals you to be? It is a part of who God created you to be. You have strengths and weaknesses that when turned over to Him can reach the lost. No matter what the world tells you, you were created for a purpose - flaws, gifts, and everything in between.
So, as I have learned to accept, if not embrace, my personality quirks, I implore others to do the same. If we believe we serve a God of purpose, then even the things about us that we consider to be a flaw are not a mistake.
I will continue to live my life out loud. I will also work to accept those who are different than me. I won't go around asking tall people to be shorter, or short people to try to be taller, or anyone to be anything other than what God created them to be.
It's a process and I'm learning. Feel free to join me on the journey.
Psalm 139:13-16 The Message (MSG)
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—You’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—You’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
Ephesians 2:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
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