They call me...Guinea pig

 

This post will be about my journey with diabetes...and hopefully more.

About 12 years ago I was diagnosed as diabetic. I guess I could have titled this post, They call me diabetic, but it goes further than that. I have always cringed at being identified by the disease that has tried to define me. I remember telling the nurse practitioner that I was NOT diabetic, despite having a reading of 583 for my blood sugar. She kept saying, yes you are to which I kept responding, no, I'm NOT! Finally, she said, "Okay, but I still need you to come in tomorrow so I can show you how to give yourself insulin injections."

I quickly learned how to "count carbs" and be a "good diabetic". For a while, it worked. I was in the Honeymoon period of my diagnosis. It worked, lulling me into the idea that I knew what I was doing. Now, fast forward to the past couple of years. I was no longer, in control. In fact, it seemed that all of the experts had different advice - thus my new name - Guinea pig. 

Oh, they didn't call me Guinea pig, but that is in essence what I was. Take an A1c test - hmmmm, too high. Let's try this. First, it was medicines, then lifestyle changes, then one thing after another. I got so sick of the questions, "Are you drinking water? Cutting out sweets and breads? Walking?" Get the picture - I was a guinea pig. 

And my own research wasn't much better. Every ad that scrolled across my screen was for something different - try cinnamon, eat this, don't eat that, try this new medicine. It was exhausting. For a while, I tried Keto and had a degree of success, but it was exhausting. 

Recently, I took on a trainer - Coach Brian with Shutupeatclean. Yeah, the name pretty much says it all. Stop all the complaining and change your life. There is SO much to this program, but since I'm on the eating subject, that's the focus. 

Almost immediately I saw success! I lost weight! I felt stronger!! I even got "guns" as my students call them. And yet...still my blood sugar was spiking for no reason. Coach looked at every aspect, constantly working to find the source of the problem and kept mentioning, it might be the protein drinks you are using. To be honest, I quickly dismissed this since I "knew" what I was doing. After all, I'd been counting carbs for years! My protein drinks ranged from 0 - 4 carbs per serving. It couldn't be that. Still, he persisted bringing up that perhaps that was the issue.

Well, I finally got frustrated enough to be really honest. All my "labs" looked great, but that one important reading kept showing out in a really negative way! Coach said once again - it has to be the protein drinks. He explained it once again...and finally, I decided to be the guinea pig and try it. I got myself to a "normal reading" and then drank a shake. My blood sugar jumped up 60 points. 

Okay, but honestly I still wasn't sure...so, I waited till I had a "low" and I thought it would be the perfect time to try again. Only one variable - that's how to do an experiment with a guinea pig. One drink - and it was delicious! Again, a 60-point jump that continued to increase! Dang - looks like he was right. (I hate it when he's right.)

I often grumble under my breath that it's just not fair. Everyone else gets to eat what they want but I cannot - well, not and remain healthy. I desperately want to be "normal" but simply put, I. Am. Not. And maybe that's okay. Maybe my path is supposed to look different. Maybe being a guinea pig is part of the overall plan.

I in no way believe that God gave me diabetes - God doesn't do things like that. But He did allow it, knowing that as I turned things over to Him, He would use it for my good and His glory! And he planned ahead of time to bring those into my life that could help me overcome. My doctor, that I dearly love, and my Coach, that I love to hate. 

I can't live like others - and that's not a bad thing. Sometimes I feel like a guinea pig - I want a simple, cut-and-dried answer...but I am not living a simple, cut-and-dried life. And neither are you. We are called to be more than conquerors...and sometimes that means we have to go through a period of feeling like a guinea pig, running test after test to see what works. 

Don't be discouraged...God will provide the answers you need - when you are finally ready to hear. I don't know what your "protein drink" is - that thing that is supposed to help according to all the commercials and experts and magazines. What I do know is that God is faithful and will help you see the answers you need when you are ready. You may not get all the answers you want, but you will find the answers to your purpose and so much more when you seek...and sometimes are willing to be a guinea pig. 

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on UnsplashIt's not that God is trying to figure it out - He's trying to help you see.

Happy new year and new vision to you my friend....from a fellow guinea pig.