the puzzle piece (follow up to just doesn't fit)

Today I shared a video with my 7th graders. It was about the effects of bullying and the tragedy of those who have taken their lives because of it. When the video finished, you could have heard a pin drop in my classroom....not something that happens very often.
I went on to share two stories of my own. One was of a girl in Jr. High who bullied me. Of course that was back in the day when bullying was mainly whispers and veiled threats...nothing like what kids have to endure in this internet age. I was able to muster the courage to face my bully and she backed away.
The second story was of a boy named Michael...also in Jr. High. It started with what was supposed to be the hairstyle that would finally make me look beautiful...and it went terribly wrong. My mother forced me to go to school anyway and you can imagine what that day became. It didn't take long for me to become the brunt of the jokes before the first bell rang. Each taunt and giggle made me want to crawl into a hole and die. Then he did what no one else cared to do.  Michael simply said a kind word that helped me survive. He became a hero in my eyes that day, so much so that I have never forgotten it. I doubt he ever even knew what an impact he made not just for a day, but for my life.  Two kids, both using words - one to crush and another to heal.
After sharing these stories, I reached over and picked up a puzzle , handing each student a piece. I talked to them as I handed out each one. "You know, I don't know anyone who would willingly go back and relive their Jr. High or High School years. Most of us felt like we didn't fit."
As I talked, I watched each student look at their puzzle piece. I continued..."at times, we all feel like we just don't fit. We don't look like the pictures in the magazines (which to be honest, neither do the people in those pictures), we don't feel as cool as someone else, or as smart, or as ________, you fill in the blank. But each of us is an important part of the puzzle. Without us, the puzzle will have a hole in it; the picture just won't be complete. We may hope to be the colorful piece in the middle, or the corner piece that everything else seems to work off from, but no matter where we fit, we are an important part of the picture...and so are all those around us. Even that person that irritates us to no end - without them, the picture would be incomplete."
I watched my students study their puzzle pieces with new interest. They put their names on the back and tucked them away, some into pockets, some into notebooks, some just held tightly in their hands. The rest of the day I noticed different students checking out their pieces, seeing if perhaps theirs fit with someone elses.
This Friday, we will watch the movie, It's a Wonderful Life and when it's done I will remind my students of their puzzle piece. We will even attempt to put the puzzle together. If some have lost theirs, it will only serve to help them see just how needed each person is. As Clarence says in that movie, "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
May you realize today just how much you are needed in this crazy puzzle of life....and always remember that even if you haven't yet found your "spot", you fit.....you fit just right.

Jeremiah 1:5 (Message translation) "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you"


Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNFcunYHqPo
Lovers and Liars website: http://www.loversandliars.com/
This pain will pass anti bully website: http://www.thispainwillpass.com/

How do they do it?

Okay, I give up. Tell me how they do it. I was watching a movie tonight and noticed as the person walked into their bathroom, there were no ragged towels hanging, no half-full wastebasket, no piles of make up from their teenage daughter, no marks from where their son's aim was off. The entire bathroom looked like a picture out of a magazine!
Then, they walked into their living room. Their couches were perfect! Not a jelly or juice stain on them at all. There were no papers piled up on the end table, no cups or plates left from an after school snack, no chew toys left by the dogs, no frayed blankets used to take a nap....and get this - NO DUST!
It only got worse. They walked into their kitchen to fix a cup of coffee and the counters were spotless! There was not a crumb in sight! No opened loaf of bread sitting on the counter, no plates piled up beside the sink because the kids obviously can't figure out how to work a dishwasher, no bags of chips sitting on the counter, no pile of vitamins, pain killers and medicines in a basket next to the coffee pot. Their refrigerator only had a couple of notes on it! It wasn't covered with pictures, invitations, schedules, appointments, and papers with good grades. They didn't even have one of those "Is it worth it" magnets that's supposed to help keep you from over-eating. (Those don't work, by the way.)
So I want to know. How do they do it? How do they keep their lives in such order when mine is in constant chaos? How can they walk into their laundry room that is so spotless they could make a commercial? Mine is filled with baskets of clothes waiting for their turn in the washing machine, socks that have long since given up hope I will actually find their mate, and the rat that my son decided he doesn't like so it has now become my pet. We won't even talk about my bedroom or the kid's rooms.
So how do they do it when I obviously haven't got a clue how to pull it all together. I'm pretty sure I just wasn't born with the organized gene. My desk at work is usually piled high with papers and whatever is coming next. My car is basically a purse on wheels...and sometimes a changing room. My life is filled to the brim with chaos. I tell people I'm not ADHD, I'm just HD - High Definition. But I have to admit, I'd really like a little order in my world. I enjoy coming home and settling into the peace and calm. I really like seeing things in order, but that's tough when you're surrounded by so much stuff.
Maybe it's that I try to hang on to too much. I keep things in hope that someday I'll find a use for them. I hang on because I'm afraid I might need it someday. I hang on because it cost so much I hate to just get rid of it. I hang on because I don't know how to let go. Unlike the people in the movies, I am not only dealing with life, I'm dealing with years of stuff that comes with it!
Maybe the people in those tv shows and movies simply know how to let go. (That and they live momentarily on a movie set that has existed only a few days as opposed to my home which I've been filling for years!) When they leave that movie set, they leave all that behind....sort of like we'll do when we go to heaven one day. I don't think I've ever really considered my home as a temporary location before, but it makes sense. This is not my real home, it's just a holding spot for me while I complete my mission. There's no real need to hang on to all this stuff because, as they say, I've never seen a moving van behind that hearse.
So, I'm going to work a little harder at letting things go. I don't really need all this "stuff" anyway. As Flylady says, stuff is Something That Undermines Family Fun. I don't want to spend my time taking care of the stuff, I want to spend it with my family and friends. It's time to simply simplify.
Now if I can just figure out how to get my kids to use the dishwasher and improve their aim.

For those interested in checking our Flylady, here's the site: http://www.flylady.net/

Matthew 6:19 - 34 (Message translation)
A Life of God-Worship

"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have! You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both. If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

As long as I don't look in the mirror....

I have no idea how it happened. I was just minding my own business and somehow an old woman came and took my body hostage. The thing is, it happened so gradually I didn't notice. I was busy being a mom and a teacher and learning about God and who I am and then one day I looked around and my children were looking very grown up. This did catch my attention because I knew I hadn't changed. Oh sure, I noticed my pants felt a little more snug than they had and I had aches and pains now and then; but I knew I was still just a little over 28 years old, still discovering just how much God truly loves me and finding my way in the world. In my head, I'm still just a girl; and I can pretty much keep that delusion going until I pass a mirror. That's when things get ugly. Instead of that young girl, an old(er) woman is staring back at me. What's even scarier is that she looks a lot like my mom! Wow. When did that happen?

To be honest, I find that I'm avoiding those mirrors now days. I'd rather live in the delusion in my head of who I am and who I've become....but sometimes you just have to give a good stare. I mean, I have to fix my hair in the morning. I have to make sure my shirt (and not my skirt) is tucked in when I leave the restroom. I have to make sure I don't have spinach caught on my teeth after lunch. Sometimes you have to take a good look at who you really are.

The Bible talks about how we look into a mirror and then promptly forget what we've seen. We seem to be more content with who we like to believe we are than what is really there. But that mirror is important. It reminds us how much we truly need a Savior. It reminds us that this life is but a breath and there is so much more to look forward to. It reminds me to put my trust in Him. That mirror helps me see myself not as I think I am, but for what I truly have become. Those lines on my face...do they mark laughter or frowns? The gray in my hair, does it speak of wisdom or fatigue? Do I stand strong and filled with hope, or am I hunched over with the weight of worry and fear? Do I see what others see?

I try to tell myself that mirrors aren't all bad. Thanks to mirrors, I don't walk around in a mini skirt thinking I still have the legs of an 18 year old. (Makes me kind of wonder if some people even OWN mirrors.)  I don't walk out in public with my skirt tucked into my underwear. Thanks to my mirror, my teeth, while not magazine model white, at least don't have spinach on them. (Oh who am I kidding...at least they don't have chocolate cookies on them!)  My mirror also helps me work on areas that, to be honest, need work! And my mirror helps me to grasp just brief this life on earth truly is.

For now, I will try not to dread looking in that mirror . I want to see what others see when they look at me.  I will also be honest and admit that it makes me happier than ever that God looks not on the outward appearance, but at my heart. Hmmmm, I wonder if that heart looks as young as it feels?

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Cor. 13:12

"Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like." James 1:22-24 (The Message)

Welcome to Jr. High

I am one of the lucky few in the world. I actually get to spend at least 8 hours of every day smack dab in the middle of Jr. High. I can almost hear you gasp in amazement. I know, you are jealous. You wish YOU could spend each day knee deep in drama, hormones, pimple cream and books. It's almost like living in a green house of emotions! Nothing is ever minor. It's just one big life crisis after another. It's just so - Jr. High!

Truthfully, I don't think I've ever met anyone who would willingly go back to their life during the Jr. High years. Just the mention of the words are enough to make grown men shudder and seemingly confident women break out is a cold sweat! It's almost as if when they escaped that time period they were set free! The one thing they knew was that they NEVER wanted to go back.

I recently asked my students what were the toughest parts of being in Jr. High and the answers ranged from pressure from parents to pressure from friends. They deal with mean girls/guys and tests and tough teachers and fickle friends. They are tired and excited and bored and frightened....sometimes all in the same day. In addition, the expectations of those around them seem to, at times, overwhelm these young teenagers. I think every day must be one constant battle of learning who they are and what they can and cannot do. They feel more grown up than they are and yet at times lapse back into being just a kid. They try to wrap their minds around lessons in math, language, history, computers and science all while juggling moods that can be far more frightening than the Tower of Terror roller coaster ride. Oh, and just to make things more interesting,  they are surrounded by hundreds of others dealing with the very same things. Oh yeah, Jr. High is one wonderful/rough place to be.

So often I want to tell my students to just hang in there. Jr. High is NOT the real world. It will be over soon! Yes, they may be dealing with difficult people, even difficult teachers, but it won't last forever. Before they realize it, it will be over and they will move on. The things that seem so huge today won't even be a blip on the radar of their lives in a few years.

And then I heard it. That nudging voice of the Lord inside me saying "That's what I've been trying to tell you." I am still stunned when I think of the simplicity of those words because right then it hit me....it's all just "Jr. High."

The things I am dealing with, which may be tough, are still really just a stage of life. They will pass far more quickly than I realize and I'll move on. My goal is heaven...that's what's really real. Everything else is just Jr. High,.Once we reach heaven, we'll be able to look back and see just how Jr. High it really was. We'll see things we wished we'd known then that we know now. We'll see places where we were doing better than we thought, and we'll see things we wish we could have changed. We'll realize we were surrounded by others who were going through their own Jr. High. Mostly, we'll look back and realize - we don't want to ever go back!

Life is definitely much better now than it was in Jr. High....and that gives me hope. If my life now, even with all it's trials, is that much better than Jr. High; then how much more wonderful must heaven be?

For me, this has been such an eye opener. Almost every day, I find myself laughing and saying, "It's all just Jr. High." Graduation day is going to be something else!

1 Corinthians 13:12 (Amplified Bible)

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

Murdered

Be forewarned...this one won't be a funny blog.

This has been a difficult week. A friend, a sister in Christ, was reported missing at the beginning of the week and found two days later - dead. While the local news broadcast that the body had been found, very little else was reported - which of course left room for more questions and rumors to abound. Was it suicide? Was it murder? What had happened? How?

Some felt asking the questions was wrong. They urged to offer the family privacy, which is completely understood. However, the questions continued to brew....People weren't trying to be nosey; they were scared. In addition to dealing with the death of someone known throughout the community, there was a subtle fear linked to the unknown questions of "how." Mingled with their grief was a new element - fear.

People began to look over their shoulders as they walked into the local Walmart. Returning home after dark was no longer just an ordinary event. Going for a walk in the neighborhood somehow didn't seem as casual anymore. I, personally, even considered getting a tazer for protection of me and my family. I started going into full "mama bear mode", ready to protect my babies from some unknown killer.

Then slowly, it became evident that the unthinkable had happened. My friend had taken her own life. For whatever reason, she decided that she could no longer take part in this life here on earth, and she left. Why? I don't know.

After a week of worry, I realized there was no stranger who abducted my friend and carried her away from her family and friends. There was no burglary gone wrong. There was no crime. There was no murderer for us to hunt down and bring to justice. There was ..... nothing. While my thoughts about my friend's death made me sure there must have been a murderer that took her life, the facts said she took it herself.

Then today, a thought hit me. Maybe I was right the first time...there was a murderer, a murderer as old as time who has shown his work throughout the ages. He comes to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) He fires darts toward our minds in hopes they will somehow find a chink in our armor and fester into torture no man can imagine. Then, just like any other predator, he lies to us and swears us to secrecy...telling us it's our fault we feel this way, our fault that we are broken and fighting a battle inside, our fault we aren't perfect. Just like the predators we hear about on tv, this one come in darkest hours to further torment us and pull us deeper and deeper into his captivity. And his greatest weapon - silence. He convinces us that we dare not share our thoughts with anyone. He makes very sure he keeps us "alone". This killer doesn't come in the shape of a human, but he is a killer all the same.

I wish I had known my friend was hurting, wish I had known the battle she was fighting...wish I could have helped her before she was killed. We say soft words like "she took her life", but the truth is, she was murdered...murdered by the one who would love to kill us all. Why do I think the fight is any less real when the enemy is spiritual - a being without flesh and bone? Why am I not just as ready to hunt him down in his hiding places and reveal him for the monster he is? I know that one day he will stand before the Judge and face his judgement, but in the meantime I want to make sure he doesn't find a way to kill again. I'm pretty sure buying that tazer won't protect me or my family against this enemy, but I know where to find a weapon that will....I plan on using the same sword Jesus used - the Word of God.

Wish I had some funny words to share with this blog, but there are none. Instead, I think I'll go and sharpen my sword. Oh, and one more thing....I'm going to make sure I have someone who can fight along side me...and I can fight along side them. This is not a battle I want to face alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 (Contemporary English Version)

If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.


Ephesians 6:12-17 (Contemporary English Version)

12We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. 13So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day [a] comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm. 14Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God's justice protect you like armor. 15Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. 16Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit.

I know best....I think

Ever have those times when you just wish someone would listen to you? I mean, I know best - right? I'm sure my opinion on how to do things is the best, that's why I chose it to be my opinion! If I didn't think it was best, I'd choose something else! But still no one listens - especially not my kids.
As a parent, I find myself constantly trying to tell my kids what to do. It's not that I want to boss them, I just can see things they can't see and don't want them to make some of the foolish mistakes others (including myself) have made. If they would just LISTEN, life would be SO much simpler. But they don't, at least not always. I've got to tell you, it's more than a little frustrating! I know best! I think.....
All this got me to thinking about how God deals with us. There is no question that God knows best....He knows the past, the present and the future all at the same time. He knows what our actions will bring - yet He allows us to make wrong choices all the same. Let that sink in a minute. He knows what our choices will bring, good or bad, and yet He allows us to choose all the same. He tells us the guidelines, then lets us make our own decisions. He also allows us to deal with the consequences of those decisions - good or bad. In the process, we either learn to love His direction more or get mad at Him for allowing us to make our own choices.
As a parent, I struggle with this. I want to not only tell me kids what is best, but help them out when they make wrong choices. Makes me wonder if I know what I'm doing after all. I want to save them from themselves....and in doing so I'm afraid, perhaps, I'm keeping them from really growing up at all.
There is a second part to this "allowing them to make mistakes" that is even harder - the loving them no matter what part. When they break my heart because of wrong choices, can I still love them? When they embarrass me because of their behavior, can I still love them? If they do things that bring shame to the family name, can I still embrace them in love yet never make an excuse for their behavior?
God allows us the freedom to make our own choices and loves us even when those choices break His heart. He loves us so much, He is willing to delay judgement in order that we might finally "get it" and start listening once again to Him. He loves us enough to let us make mistakes and even suffer from our own foolishness so that we can learn.
Those of us who have messed up pretty badly can recognize true love. True love holds us even when we push away. True love weeps with us over our mistakes and foolish choices, but allows us to learn in the midst of them all the same. True love is angered when we are harmed by the choices of others, but loves the "others" as much as He loves us. True love rejoices with us when we are set free and find the path we were meant to walk in this journey called life. True love knows best, and yet allows us to choose anyway.
I know best....but I don't know all. I have no idea of the wonderful things my Lord has planned for my child or those around me. All I know is that it is a plan far greater than I could ever dream of or imagine....and somehow God is using everything to work out that plan in our lives, if we will only let Him.
 Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
2 Peter 3:8-9 ^{(Message translation) "}Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change."
James 1:22-25"Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action."
Let us never forget this: Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

That's what truly knowing best and loving us all the same really means.

I hate to cook.

I admit it. I hate to cook. I know this makes me appear as less than the perfect wife and mother, but to be very honest, I've never liked cooking! I do however love to eat. My most favorite food is something prepared by someone else...and of course cleaned up by someone else. While we have a number of television shows and even an entire network dedicated to the joys of cooking, I have to wonder if I'm not the only one out there who has this aversion to food preparation. I'm thinking if I were, the number of restaurants and fast food places would be significantly LESS!

Of course, this aversion to food preparation does nothing at all for my health. I will eat a little powdered donut that contains little or no nutritional value before I will take the simple steps to scramble myself an egg. (I do, however, take the time to make the coffee! Some things just can't be skipped.) After a hard day at work, I'd much rather call in a pizza order to pick up on my way home rather than stop by the grocery and choose something to prepare, then take it home and have to cook. In a pinch, I even buy some frozen concoction that only needs to be heated in the microwave. The results, I gain weight, lose energy, and shorten my productivity considerably....and I become less and less adept in the kitchen!

I find I'm having more difficulty even knowing WHAT to prepare so that my diet has variety and value! I may look online just hoping something will tempt my taste-buds and somehow be effortless to prepare! Somehow nothing really fits both options...so if money allows, I go elsewhere and have someone 'feed' me.

This morning, however, I realized my lack of food preparation ability is not just a physical problem. I can easily fall into the same "poor diet trap" with my spiritual diet as well. I'm worn out, so it's easier to feast on the junk food provided by the television rather than pick up a book and read. The thought of picking up my Bible and actually preparing a meal from scratch never even enters my mind. I fill up instead on whatever is placed before me. I may know that it's not good for me, but I'm tired and just want to consume something. Then, just like with those little powdered donuts, I'll feel better for a moment; but it will be followed by a crash and a craving for more of what gave me my momentary high. Talk about a vicious circle!

Occasionally I may pick up some already prepared food by way of a devotional provided online or in a book. These offer nutrition that is much needed, but to be honest, I wonder how it was prepared. How did they know where to look? How did they think to combine the ingredients in this way? I like the 'taste' but I wish I knew how to prepare this for myself.

At least once a week, I go out and eat at a full meal prepared for the masses - church. It is delicious and I leave full and satisfied and happy. Too bad I won't get to eat like that again for an entire week.

I think I'm getting a bit tired of suffering spiritual malnutrition because I'm just too lazy, or afraid, to prepare my own spiritual food. It might mean I have to pass up the powdered donuts and actually dig to find the ingredients, but I'm pretty sure the Bible can provide something that is much sweeter and definitely a whole lot healthier than what the world has to offer. Maybe it's time I started to "read the labels" as it were and figure out just what kind of junk I have been consuming. I can still learn from others, but it's okay to try my hand at preparing food from scratch. I'll be sure to keep a few recipe books, (Bible dictionaries and commentaries), nearby should I get stuck on how to prepare an ingredient for the meal. I'll probably mess up a few dishes, and maybe create a disaster or two; but perhaps in the process I'll also learn how to "feed" myself.

I wonder what will happen to my spiritual energy and zest for life when I start doing this. Who knows, maybe I'll prepare something delicious and even convince my children to try their hand at doing the same!

For now, I think it's time to go and fix some breakfast. Something simple should do for a start.

Psalm 34:8~ "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
Psalm 119:103 ~"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"
1 Peter 2: 2-3 ~ "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."