God knows...

For some reason as I left Walmart today, I looked up at the exit sign, and my mind wandered....it does that a lot while in Walmart. But today I thought about something that happened about 13 years ago. 

It happened on a regular trip to the store. My son was about three or four and he was walking alongside me chattering like a little magpie, probably about some toy he wanted to look at once we were in the store. He held my hand as we crossed the parking lot, stopping to make sure the way was clear to cross. Pretty typical day.

We entered the lobby area and I released his hand long enough to grab a buggy. For once, the buggy didn't stick...not even a little. I grabbed it and started for the entrance. What occurred next happened so quickly I'm still not sure what took place. There was a roar and all of a sudden a van was driving through the doors and into the lobby. It hit a metal trash can that went flying and as I swirled around all I could do was yell for my son. I pictured him somewhere underneath the van or crushed between the van and the wall. The panic that followed as I called his name and desperately searched for him still makes my chest tighten. 

A woman just inside the doors caught me and let me know he was standing inside the entrance. My little fellow was standing in front of a display of flowers and sobbing with fright. I have no idea how he got there...but he was safe and that was all that mattered. I scooped him up and held him and thought I'd never let go. I tried to remain calm so he would feel safe...but I so wanted to cry with him and never let him go.

We later found out that the woman in the van had some sort of seizure. She was going to be okay. The store has since moved those big concrete pillars to better secure the doors. Story over, but not for me. 

That day I realized that I couldn't protect my son...not even when I was standing right there. I was going to have to learn to fully turn him over to God and trust. 

Maybe the reason I thought about that incident today was because once again I am having to trust God with my son. This week he will "sign" with a school and in just a few short months he will be off to college. I've prayed that God would direct Levi to the school where he would be guided on the path that He has for him. It wasn't the school we thought he'd be going to, but I have peace that it is where God will guide him on the next step of his journey. 

And once again, I'm realizing I am at a loss as to how to protect Levi or help him. I want to scoop him up and hug him...of course this is NOT something he wants me to do. I want to hold him just one more time and let him know it will be okay, or maybe have him tell me that...again, not something he wants me to do. All I can do is trust, trust that all I have taught him has found good soil. Trust that God has a plan for him that is greater than what even I can imagine and that God will direct him.

It's all more than a bit overwhelming...letting go, not knowing what lies ahead. That's when the second part of today's story comes into play. Just before I got to my car with all these thoughts running through my head, I saw a sweet smiling lady with a shirt that simply said, "But God..."

I don't know what the future holds, but God knows...and that is enough.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Walking backwards...

Revisiting a post from a couple of years ago.

I looked up at the clock and realized it was time for my students to return from activity...which meant I needed to step outside my room and make sure they weren't getting "lost" as they walked down the hall. I looked down at the sea of hormones in tennis shoes making their way toward me and that's when I saw him. That familiar blue jacket of one our students. He was at the front, moving my way - backwards. Deep in conversation, he was oblivious to the fact that he was headed directly into the watchful gaze of a teacher...

I called out to him. "Hey, buddy. God made your eyes and your feet face in the same direction for a reason - so you could watch where you are going!"

We both laughed and he turned around as I just shook my head in amazement of these silly kids.

I didn't really think about it again...that is until I was reading the book, God Loves Broken People by Sheila Walsh. 

At the end of the first chapter, this passage jumped out at me. "God says to you and me, "It's time for something new in your life. I open up new roads before you. I want to fill the desert of your soul with living water and satisfy your thirst with heaven's swift, cool brooks. Don't dwell on the past, and refuse to camp in the tragedies of your history or family background. Leave it all behind! And then come to Me, for I have something brand-new in mind for you.
So with one hand firmly gripping the Word of God, and the other hand reaching for the fresh future God is busily at work preparing for us, let us walk together on this journey into God's best..."

As I read this, my young blue-jacketed friend flashed back into my mind.

I had to wonder if I am doing just like my little friend. Am I walking backward, looking at the mistakes and regrets of my past and forgetting to look forward to where God is leading?

Keep in mind, I am almost 54 years old, (make that 57 now), so there's a whole lot of "past" I could focus on...and realistically, not QUITE as much future. But I'm supposed to focus FORWARD?

For some reason, all this brought a verse to mind. 
Acts 2:17 -“In the Last Days,” God says,
“I will pour out my Spirit on every kind of people:
Your sons will prophesy,  also your daughters;
Your young men will see visions,  your old men dream dreams."

Dream dreams? You mean God wants to give dreams to us "old guys" too? Dreams of what the future will bring? I mean, aren't we too old for dreams? When we were young we had lots of dreams, but our dreams never really came true. Instead we got reality. Is it possible that our dreams were for a time yet to come?

Like my crazy random thoughts are known to do, they wandered back to a church service years ago. I sat on the second row and listened as the missionary Jewell Matheny spoke. She told of when she was younger and knew she had a call from God, yet there were babies that needed her. How was she supposed to serve when she was up to her elbows in dirty diapers and runny noses? She cried out to God - when would her time come?

Those who know this wonderful family know that Jewell Matheny DID do some amazing things. First she raised a family that loves and serves God and she served alongside her husband as a pastor's wife and as a missionary. Then, after her husband's death, when many would think of retiring, God gave her a dream. She followed that dream and is now known as Mama Jewell to so many in Africa. As one African pastor said, "Africa will never be the same thanks to Mama Matheny!" 

The point of all this? God has a plan for each of us. It's not just for the young...but even for the "old" - we can still dream dreams. We've got to stop walking backward and looking at the past. God made our feet and our eyes point in the same direction for a reason...so we can watch where we are going. And as long as we are going with God - the journey is for a hope and a future.

"Never let your memories be greater than your dreams." - Doug Ivester

*Note: The next day when I got to school, I was looking forward to finding my little blue-jacketed friend so that I could give him a hug...only to discover the day before was his last day. He had moved. I was almost overwhelmed to the point of tears when I realized that God had "put a spotlight" on my young friend so that I could see....and not forget to pray as he moves forward into what God has prepared for him.

So you had a bad day...

Remember that song that was used on American Idol a few years ago? That song, and the message of this blog that I wrote a few years ago came to mind this morning. No, I haven't been having a bad day, and I truly hope today won't be one either...but perhaps this is to remind me, or someone else today....we win! So You Had a Bad Day song, listen here...

It had been one of those days. If it could go wrong, it seemed like it had. It wasn't just the everyday little things either. I was getting hit with things that had me standing there with my mouth wide open wanting to say, "You've GOT to be kidding!" By the end of the day, I wanted to cry - just sit down and cry! No, I wanted to sit down, cry and QUIT! It just didn't seem like it was worth trying. To be honest I was just plain worn out.

As I headed back to my room, I noticed the door of another teacher who I knew prayed for her fellow teachers each week. I peeked my head in just to ask if she'd remember me in her prayers this week. I got a lot more. Not only did she pray with me then, but she shared something that God had revealed to her - that anger can hinder our prayers. Anger, frustration, hurt - they could all keep me from being able to pray for the situation. I knew what she said was true and I left with it on my mind, but to be honest I was still reeling from the blows of the day. I still wanted to just give up.

When I got home, I told my husband all that had happened and then I sat down to my favorite unwind activity - checking facebook. It seemed that a lot of my friends were having days a lot like mine - one even called it an "epic fail."  Yep, that pretty much described it. I stared at the screen and I knew what my status would be - "No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Sure glad I've got God's promise on that."

I sat and just looked at my status. Something about that word, 'formed', caught my eye. The weapons used against me today to discourage me weren't just picked at random - they wereformed. It was as if the enemy knew exactly what shape the weapon should be to inflict the most damage. He knew which buttons to push to cause my discouragement to mount. He took the time to form a weapon against me. Why? Because if he was able to succeed in getting me to get discouraged and quit, I wouldn't be able to accomplish that which God had placed me there for. He wanted me to give up...and to be honest, it almost worked!

I looked up the word "formed" and it means, among other things: to construct or frame; compose; to place in order; arrange; organize; shape; fashion. My enemy took the time to compose, organize, shape and fashion the attack against me in such a way that it would hit my most vulnerable areas. It's a good thing that I know that when and where I am weakest, my Father is strong - otherwise those weapons might have had more power to destroy! The worst part of that would have been that the mission God gave me might have been left incomplete. So that's why the devil is so intent on making me angry, frustrated and discouraged! He wants me to give up on what I know God has told me to do! Knowing that all this was an attempt to not only defeat me but to make me give up on the mission God has put in front of me - well, that just makes me mad!

I don't know what your day has been like. Maybe it's been great, or maybe like me you feel like you've been sucker-punched in the gut and you're still feeling a little bit dazed. There is good news...you have an advocate that is standing before the Father with an answer to refute every lie the enemy uses to try condemn you. Our problem is that we listen to the accuser more than we listen to our Advocate! We actually help him form the weapons he wants to use against us! I don't know about you, but I'm tired of feeding him ammunition! 

I truly hope your day was one filled with sunshine and lollipops, but just in case it wasn't, I want to leave you with some words of encouragement from Isaiah 54:17. "no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD."

The Lord has declared it and that's good enough for me. Today will not defeat me, it will become just another battle won for the Lord!

Rainfall and potholes....

The other day, as I was on my way to school, I passed a spot in the road that I've learned to avoid because of a persistent pothole. As I carefully slowed in anticipation, I thought about the fact that this pothole has been "repaired" many times, but after every heavy rain, it appears once more. Once again, those 'random thoughts' started turning in my head.

That pothole shows up after every heavy rain. Maybe the problem isn't the rain, maybe the rain is simply revealing an ongoing structural problem that is simply being given a bandaid to try and repair it. That's a lot like our lives. Rain doesn't cause the problems, it simply reveals them. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust alike, the difference is how that rain effects them. Life is going to have problems, but often we blame what is happening to us on the problem when in fact it is a "structural defect" within us that is simply being revealed.

Perhaps my problem isn't lack of funds; perhaps it is how I have set up my lifestyle. Perhaps the problem isn't my health; perhaps it's the choices I've made or my lack of self discipline. Perhaps my problem isn't that grouchy person I have to work or go to school with, (or even live with); perhaps it is my low self esteem or lack of patience or selfishness (how dare they ruin my day!) Perhaps the problem isn't my teacher or boss; perhaps it is what kind of student or worker I have shown myself to be. Perhaps the problem isn't what the person said or did; perhaps it's my anger. You get the picture.

This analogy can go into many different realms. Perhaps the problem with anything isn't what we perceive it to be. Perhaps it is simply revealing an area we truly need to make changes to in ourselves or our nation. Since I can't seem to do much about the nation, (see earlier blog about no one asking me!) then I guess it's up to me to make the changes in me.

If I don't like the way my kids act, I might need to look at my behavior toward them and others. (They do learn from me, especially that which I wish they didn't!) If I don't like the way my neighborhood is, perhaps I need to look and see if I'm making a difference there. If I don't like the way things are done at my job, perhaps I need to look at what part I might play in the problem, whether in attitude or action. If I don't like the way my government is doing things, perhaps I need to look at what I am doing to make a difference in that area. Now, I realize there are areas that "hit us" that we had nothing to do with! We can't control those things - only our reactions to them. Maybe the reason for our storm isn't so much for us, as to help someone around us see how we go about weathering what life throws at us. Maybe they need to watch us "fix the potholes" so they will know how to accomplish the same in their own lives.

I find that when I see something that "somebody" needs to fix, I almost immediately hear in my spirit - "So - aren't you somebody?..."  

We all have "potholes" in our lives. It's up to us to take the time and effort (and sometimes painful expense - metaphorical and sometimes actual) and fix it. Putting another patch on it may seem to work for a while, but rest assured, it will rain again. If I don't want to constantly have to avoid that pothole, I'm gonna have to do something about it. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some potholes to start filling....

Ephesians 2:10b TEV 

"God has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do"

Matthew 5:13-16The Message (MSG)

13 “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

This is an updated version of a post from 2009...still applies to my life today!

Have you been audacious today???

This random thought began this morning as I watched a video clip from Living Waters Ministry. It was a short segment right at the very end and a man was saying "For God so loved the world that He gave His only forgotten Son..." 

Wait. Did I hear that right? Did he just say "only FORGOTTEN Son"? How could it be that someone would misquote probably one of the most well known verses from the Bible? Then it hit me - that's the way some people treat Jesus, they just forget about Him.

I continued to browse through my morning emails and drink my coffee, thinking all the while about what I had just seen. Then another e-mail caught my eye. Well, to be honest, I almost passed over it because I saw the title and THOUGHT I knew the passage it was talking about....Oh, I know that one already. I'm so glad I went back for a second look at the blog from thehighcalling.org titled "Walking Around in the Skin of the Mat Carriers." (for complete article, click here) 

In that article, Mark D. Roberts looked at the life of the men who carried the paralyzed man to Jesus and ultimately lowered him through the roof. (Luke 5:17-26) One particular phrase caught my eye and resonated in my spirit...Mark notes that in verse 20 of the passage, Jesus saw "their faith". (Emphasis mine.) To quote from the article, "What he actually saw, of course, was their audacious act of breaking into a house and lowering a man on a mat. Faith took the form of bold action. It involved taking big risks."

That's when it hit me. I want to live a life of audacious faith. I want to live my life in such a way that people can SEE my faith....not just hearing words but seeing me live in such a way that they can't help but see Jesus. In the words of St. Francis of Assisi, I want to "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary, use words."

In case you wonder what audacious means, I looked it up! The dictionary defines it as"extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless." That's who I want to be - someone who is bold, daring, and fearless in living out my faith! Then maybe people will be able to "see my faith" and remember Jesus - the one I'm living for. I've even gone so far as to make a little post-it note sign for my desk. It says, "Have you been audacious today?"

So how about it? Are you ready to tackle life in a world that has "forgotten" the Son? Are you willing to be audacious in your faith? Are you willing to stand out? Join me in this adventure and let's see just how amazing life can be.

Best friends....

Today I was sitting on my front porch - we can do that in January in South Mississippi, one of the many reasons I love living here. 

When I sit on this front porch, I am flooded with memories of the days right after Katrina. We spent a lot of time on our porch in those days since it was summer and we had no power...I also have a lot of really good memories of friends like Cathy and Dave and Honey and Dave - no, not the same Daves, and it's not a prerequisite that you have to be married to someone named Dave to live in our neighborhood, personally I have a "Dale"...

Anyway, all this got me to thinking about today's topic - friends.

When you think of friend, what comes to mind? Secrets, laughter, memories, adventure..

I am blessed with a number of friends and they have been there for me,  not just in times of trouble, but also in times of fun. Some of my fondest memories of laughter include these sweet ladies...(Memories of laughter with my "navigator" and I  were on our way to visit our other dear friend and we got lost because we were in deep conversation immediately comes to mind.)

I love my friends - friends have this wonderful way of accepting  us for who we are and while they don't try to change us, they do nudge us out of our comfort zone every once in a while and show us there is more...

Friends aren't just for hard times, they are also there for good times to share and multiply the joy! What is a party without friends? Good times are so much more fun when they are there to share them with you.

Well, all this got me thinking about my very best friend, Jesus. Jesus is so much more than just my 'heavenly boss" which is how some seem to see him. He is far more than just someone to go to when I get in a tight. He is there in bad times AND good. In fact, he multiplies my joy! He is my FRIEND!

But honestly, I forget sometimes that Jesus is my friend. Just like in the days after the power came back on following Katrina, we all started to get busy again and we spent less and less time together. Oh, we were still friends, but somehow things just weren't quite the same.

Today I want to focus once again on spending TIME with my friend, Jesus.

Proverbs 18:24 (MSG)

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.

For those who like the video version, you can click the link below.

Video version of today's blog.

Stuck in reruns....

Welcome to my very first attempt at a video blog. Feel free to comment...we'll see if this becomes a "regular" thing. 

(Hmmm, thinking maybe I should have gotten a bit more "dressed up" for my first video.)