Hold on or give it away?

Do you ever have those thoughts that come into you head as you're going to sleep, and you just can't shake them? Last night I had one of those thoughts. It was about some things I was wrestling with...in my mind some pretty big problems. They were just too big for me to handle. Honestly I had no real control over them at all. All I could do was worry about them. I was sort of praying/complaining to God about these things, asking Him to help me when I realized how ridiculous that was.

Don't get me wrong - it's not ridiculous to pray. It's what I was praying. I was asking God to help me...I was standing before my Father God with my ridiculous toy tools in my hand asking Him to help me. It's as if I keep telling Him, "I can fix it. I just need You to tell me what to do!" The truth is I had no more idea about how to fix the problem than a 5 year old has about how to fix an automobile! Instead of asking Him to help me, I needed to simply get out of the way and let Him fix it!

We often recite the phrase "cast all your cares upon Jesus" and yet I don't think I had a clue how or what that meant. I was really good at going to Him and showing Him what I was worried about, but I kept it clinched in my grubby little hands the whole time. I'm gonna fix it, I just need Him to tell me HOW.

I can picture God patiently standing there, waiting for me to finally hand it over so He could take care of things, but I won't let it go. I have to keep examining it and telling Him about what's wrong and how He could go about fixing it. It's times like that I'm glad my Father God isn't like me. I'd be tempted to just throw up my hands and say, "Fine, go ahead. Break it completely! But don't come crying to me because I tried to get you to hand it over and let me just take care of it!" Whew...bet you're glad I'm not God too!

God stands and waits for us to give it to Him - completely.

Recently I had another situation/problem I couldn't fix, (there have been lots to choose from lately.) I was out for a run and praying/complaining to God, asking Him how to fix things....what should I do. I'm not sure at what point things changed, but I do remember turning the corner of the street and saying, "It's yours God. I give it up. I trust you with this completely." Tears started to fall and the promises of God started to run through my mind. I had finally let go of what I could not control in the first place.

I am wondering how many times I stand in the way of what God wants to do because I feel like I need to fix it. I'm also trying to wrap my head around how in the world I can let God flow THROUGH me instead of trying to get Him to HELP me. Asking Him to help me sort of feels like I'm handing Him my plastic hammer and telling HIM where to hit the engine to get it going again. Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds - but isn't that what we do? We - well, I - keep trying to get God to help ME when I haven't a clue! Instead, I need to hand it over to Him, move aside and do what HE tells me to do.

Maybe today's random thought is a bit too random, but it's because I'm still learning. I need to stop asking God to help me and instead step aside and ask Him, "Can I help?" There are problems out there so big I don't know where to begin. A good place to start is by giving them totally to Him. I need to open my grubby little hands, let go and let God.

Oh, and there's one more part....somewhere in all this I'm learning to stop asking God to fix others and asking instead that He fix me and how I deal with them. Somehow I think that might be a whole other blog.

1 Peter 5:7 (New International Reader's Version)
"Turn all your worries over to him. He cares about you."