Thursday, September 9, 2010

Bad mood kind of day

The truth of the matter was I was in no mood to be in a good mood. Do you ever have days like this? I started out the day somewhat stressed and by 10 a.m. I was in full-tilt, bad-mood mode. Perhaps it had to do with the huge load of work I saw towering over me. Maybe it was the jam packed schedule that was taunting me for the next few days. It could have even been that my students were all wired for sound and it felt a bit like I was trying to herd bees. Really, I'm not sure there was a good reason why; I was just in a bad mood.
Then someone came to my room to chat. Poor person. I know they came for a shoulder of sympathy and a word of encouragement, but instead they got me. Not just me, but me in my full tilt "You've got to be kidding" sarcastic glory. They came to find a cool drink of water to go on and got a taste of some pretty rancid liquid instead.
In case you're wondering, yes, I feel pretty guilty. Oh, I've tried to reason my way out of it. I even looked in the Bible to see if Jesus ever got fed up with those around Him. I kind of think perhaps He did. Check out Matthew 17:17-18 [Message translation] - "Jesus said, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here." He ordered the afflicting demon out—and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well." Still I'm left with the problem of knowing I'm not Jesus and that when the disciples left they had actually gotten what they came for...the boy was healed. I'm pretty sure my friends just left with a bad taste in their mouths.
The fact is, I really don't have an excuse. I am called to live for Christ. Out of me there should be flowing rivers of living water, not some foul stench filled mess. Even if I think I'm having a bad day, that's no reason to let the stream become polluted with my dead attitude.
Did Jesus get aggravated with those who came to Him...the ones who should have known better? Maybe...but He didn't turn them away. He simply helped them and pointed them in the right direction: "When the disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it out?" "Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle."
Do I seriously believe that God has a purpose for me, that He has a plan and somehow my day fits into that plan? If so, then I need to say to my mountain of bad attitude, "MOVE! Stop stinking up the water!"
To be honest, my mood isn't much better this morning....but that's no excuse. I may need to do as Jesus did and get away to pray. I may need to take out the garbage of the day that as piled up in my spirit. I may need to get my eyes off myself! I may even need to ask forgiveness....but I can't allow the rivers of living water to be blocked by me.
The words to "in the Middle of Me" by Todd Agnew pretty well sum it up:

I need a little more sunshine in the middle of rain
Need a little more joy in the middle of pain
Need a little more color in the middle of this plain jane

I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me

I need a little more patience in the middle of stress
I need a little more beauty in the middle of this mess
Need a little more substance in the middle of this emptiness

I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me

Need more of You and less of me
More of You and little less insanity
More of You and little less complexity

I’ve looked as deep as I can see
It seems more of You is better for me

I need a little more rhythm in the middle of this lazy rhyme
Need a little more spontaneity in the middle of this daily grind
Need a little more truth not music in this world of lies

I’ve looked as deep as I can see
And I think I need a little more You in the middle of me

Here's to trying to make today a better matter what may come my way.

John 7:38 (Amplified Bible)

"He who believes in Me [who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, From his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water."

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