He notices me!

I have spent much of my life hoping to be noticed. I am just so "average." I am not the pretty girl, or the cheerleader, or the athlete, or the smart one, or pretty much any of the things that people notice....but I am loud and sometimes a little funny.

I hate being the loud one - seriously. It is a part of my life that I so wish I could change, but I do see how God uses it in my life. My voice is very distinctive and can be heard above the noise. I often say that I have been accused of many things, but not being able to be heard has never been one of them. As a teacher, that works for me....yet I often still hate that part of who I am.

I learned at an early age that I could make people laugh. I don't take that gift lightly for there is far too little laughter in this world. Nothing gives me the rush of hearing someone laugh at what I have said while they look at life in a different way. I love that people expect to laugh when they are with me.

Yet I realized the other day that I have spent much of my life just hoping to be "noticed" - surprising for someone who is just so hard to ignore.

I came to this realization during a Bible study the other night when we were talking about how our relationship with our fathers in some ways determines how we see our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Now, I had a wonderful relationship with my daddy - I always figured he pretty much hung the moon. (Yes, I know that would have been my Heavenly Father that did that, but I thought God had probably used Daddy to at least help with the positioning.) Still, I spent much of my growing up hoping that Daddy would notice me. When I was young, I would go to him and uncross his legs so I could climb up into his lap. I knew he loved me, but I wanted him to stop and pay attention to just me.

My daddy never said a lot - he was usually working, and I now realize, he was tired. Still, if I got a smile out of him, it made my day. I just wanted him to stop for a minute from all he had to do and notice me - to tell me I was good. I valued his opinion over that of the world. I wanted him to simply notice me....

Yep, as I sat in that group of women on a Wednesday night, I realized that I just hope that in the midst of millions of people, I will somehow be noticed. That is why when we read the scripture from Matthew 6:26-33, it took my breath away. I have read that passage so many times before; but that night, sitting around the plastic table with so many others, I saw something more....God notices me!

He notices me!!! He sees me trying so hard to find His will. He sees the times when I am scared and still moving forward. He sees my tears when I am alone and I think no one knows. He sees my smile when I have a tiny victory. I am not someone who stands out as special in any way, but somehow in the middle of all the busy-ness, He notices me!

He hears me when I'm saying nothing, but my heart is crying out, "Please see me." How is it possible that in the midst of all these people who have so much more faith than me, who are so much kinder than me, who are doing such great things - He hears me?

I realize that compared to many, my life is wonderful! I have a roof over my head, food on my table, two wonderful (most of the time) children, a husband who is also an amazing father to our children, a job, my health...I could go on and on. Yet somehow God notices my longing glances through the window of Life's bakery and gives me not only what I need, but sometimes the very things I hope for. He notices me.

I long to be special to Him. This week, I realized once again that I don't have to beg my Father to allow me to sit in His lap to get His attention....He already notices me. I'm not just one in a million - I am His. He's not too busy for me. He sees how hard I am trying and how tired I have become. He sees my frustration and how I stand there, wondering what to do. He notices me. Oh, how I wish I had to words to truly express how much that means.

Guess what - He notices you too...honestly I don't know how since He's paying such great attention to me, but He does. This week, may you be completely overwhelmed with the knowledge that you are special to your Father; I know I am. He notices me.

Matthew 6:26-33

The Message (MSG)

 ^25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
 ^27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
 ^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.