Sold...

Last night I had the strangest dream. We sold our house. We got exactly what we asked for it, it sold rather quickly, and it sold to a couple that we know. We were caught somewhat off-guard since we didn't expect it to happen so quickly and we didn't really know where we would go. We weren't worried about it, just didn't know what would lie ahead. 

This dream struck me since we have not really talked about selling our home; in fact, we are getting closer to finally having it paid off! This old house is far from perfect, but it has stood through a major hurricane, escaped several nearby tornadoes, and weathered just about every other kind of storm that could come its way. It won't be featured in a decorating magazine or anywhere other than this blog...and my memories. It has served us well. Nope, no thoughts of moving at all...This was all on my mind so I decided to look up the meaning of selling your home in dreams.

One theme popped up over and over - selling a home means leaving an old way of life and moving on. (Another post said it meant I was preparing to die, but I choose to ignore that one.)

Leaving an old way of life and moving on, I guess that pretty much depicts where I am in my life. As I prepare for BOTH of my children to move out in the coming months, I find I am re-evaluating my life and what it will now become. The fact that the couple in my dream is one that adopted their child a little over a year ago just cements that this is probably what prompted this dream. Both of my children are adopted and I have pretty much poured my life into them for the past 21 years, like any parent does. Now they don't really need me like they once did. 

I remember that just a few days before we brought our daughter home, a pastor friend prayed over us and told me he felt God wanted me to know something. He told me that even though I had been active in ministry, I was about to begin the ministry that would bring me greater joy than I had ever imagined. He had no idea we were planning to meet with the adoption agency that week to bring our daughter home, but he was so right...this "ministry" of being a parent has been one of the hardest and yet most fulfilling things I could have ever imagined. I have failed more times than I'd like to admit, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to be "Mom." In fact, I have loved that I have been known as "Sam's mom" or "Levi's mom" over the past two decades...but now it's time to find a "title" change.

So now I find myself "selling" the old me - really more like turning it over to a younger family just beginning this journey, and an unknown future lies ahead. What I have known will soon become history, something in the past. Ahead lies...well, I have no idea what lies ahead.

I guess in a way we are all "selling our houses" at some point in our lives. Life is anything but static. During all this "change" I can hang on to the promise of God that no matter what lies ahead, He is already there. 

For all of those "fellow moms" who are finding that their title is changing, I pray that as you "sell your house" you have peace. God has so much more for us and I pray that you find your new "title" quickly. Like parenting, I have a feeling it will be far more difficult and FAR more rewarding than we could have ever imagined.

A blog from a friend really helped solidify my thoughts on this topic. I highly recommend it to all my fellow wanderers...
 Lost and Wandering in your Wilderness by Dr. Beverly Smallwood

No matter where our journey takes us, our Father knows and has made a way for us...and it will be good. 

Jeremiah 29:11

 I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Philippians 3

12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

15-16 So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

17-19 Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

20-21 But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

Tombs...

Perhaps it is the fact that today is Good Friday, but for whatever reason, my random thoughts today have gone to the subject of tombs.

It started with a conversation I had with someone who was dealing with some pretty "rough" characters the past few weeks. As I tried to encourage her (and myself) that we are called to be the light no matter where we are, I made reference to a couple of different Bible stories that we are all familiar with. I said, "At times I think I'd rather be dealing with those whom run among the tombs than those who are nice and cleaned up like the Pharisees and the Sadducees." That's what got the thought-wheels turning.

The more I thought about it, both groups of people in those stories, the heathen and the religious, had tombs in their lives. It was obvious the problem the demoniac had. He was living (if you could call that living) among the dead. He was surrounded by tombs and it showed. The other groups, the "religious 'right'" I guess some might call them (not a political statement by the way) had their own tombs to deal with. The problem for most of them was that their tombs were hidden where no one could see - no one but the Son of God that is. That group had their lives all cleaned up, but on the inside they had their own problems. They were "white-washed tombs". 

Every day we deal with people who are dealing with death. Some are surrounded by it, and some are dead inside. Visible or not, death has a way of making its presence known. The difference is with one you what you see is what you get and with the other you have no idea what you are facing.

We don't call them tombs much any more, at least not in the South. We call them graveyards. As a child I remember going with my mom to the graveyard to tend the graves (something I never really understood.) As a young adult, she once asked me where I wanted to be buried. I told her I didn't really care, I wouldn't be there anyway. 

Some are afraid of graveyards. When I was little, it seemed that every scary story had a graveyard/cemetery somewhere in it...but Jesus wasn't afraid of tombs. He went to the demoniac who wandered among the tombs; He called out the Pharisees and Sadducees for what they were - white-washed tombs; He called his friend OUT of the tomb; and just to make sure that all could see His power over death, He broke free from the tomb. No tomb was a match for Him, whether it was inside or out.

Today marks the day they laid my Lord in a tomb...a borrowed one at that. In just two days we celebrate the realization that what He had told His disciples was true...three days after the Temple had been torn down it would be restored. That alone is news good enough to make us want to go out into the "graveyard of a world" and proclaim release to those who are trapped among the dead. And for those who "look good" on the outside, it's good news that they don't have to be a walking tomb themselves, zombies as it were. Dead is dead, whether outside or in. 

Jesus promised something much different - life abundant...and that is Good News!

Jesus healed the demoniac

Matthew 23:27-28The Message (MSG)

27-28 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.

John 11 - The death of Lazarus (MSG)

17When Jesus finally got there, he found Lazarus already four days dead...

21-22 Martha said, “Master, if you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.”

23 Jesus said, “Your brother will be raised up.”

24 Martha replied, “I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.”

25-26 “You don’t have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all...

38-39 Then Jesus...arrived at the tomb. It was a simple cave in the hillside with a slab of stone laid against it. Jesus said, “Remove the stone.” The sister of the dead man, Martha, said, “Master, by this time there’s a stench. He’s been dead four days!”

40 Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

41-42 Then, to the others, “Go ahead, take away the stone.”

They removed the stone. Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and prayed, “Father, I’m grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen, but on account of this crowd standing here I’ve spoken so that they might believe that you sent me.”

43-44 Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.

Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

Luke 24The Message (MSG)

Looking for the Living One in a Cemetery

24 1-3 At the crack of dawn on Sunday, the women came to the tomb carrying the burial spices they had prepared. They found the entrance stone rolled back from the tomb, so they walked in. But once inside, they couldn’t find the body of the Master Jesus.

4-8 They were puzzled, wondering what to make of this. Then, out of nowhere it seemed, two men, light cascading over them, stood there. The women were awestruck and bowed down in worship. The men said, “Why are you looking for the Living One in a cemetery? He is not here, but raised up. Remember how he told you when you were still back in Galilee that he had to be handed over to sinners, be killed on a cross, and in three days rise up?” Then they remembered Jesus’ words.

Other Parents...

I think just about every parent has had this conversation with their child. It starts out with a "simple" request from the child and everything goes smoothly until that point when the parent says "no". 

Sometimes the "no" comes because the parent sees that something is not good for the child, but as they get older the "no" often comes because the parent is simply unable to grant the request due to lack of resources, either financial or otherwise. At this point the child pulls out the dreaded "other parents" arrow, the one that was tipped with a rubber stopper when they were a small child but is now sharpened to a steely point and pierces straight to the heart. 

The child isn't trying to hurt the parent, they just do not understand. They "want" and as a parent we desperately "want" to help but we have long ago come to the realization that we are not Superman. Heck, we're not even Ironman or Hulk or even a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. At best we are the sidekick that is constantly having to be rescued. We are Jimmy Olsen or Pepper or whoever it was that hung out with the Hulk. We are helpless.

Recently I stood and had a conversation with another parent who was dealing with this same kind of situation. I wanted to just hug her because I understand! Oh, how I understand! Other parents seem to be able to "give" their children everything and we stand there with nothing in our hands, hoping we'll figure out a way to simply hang on and not drown in bills before they become "self-sufficient adults"...and in the process, of course, we feel like we have failed them somehow.

It's a vicious cycle. We feel guilt that we've allowed them to become so selfish and at the same time wish so much that we could make things easier on them. We see them struggle to grow and they look to us as if somehow we can make it easier...only we can't. 

As parents, we feel that we are the only ones struggling - the only ones who somehow failed at this parenting thing, but we aren't. That is what the enemy wants us to believe, that we're the only ones... that way he keeps us isolated and in despair. But look around. There is a whole generation with their hand out saying they "deserve" something for free. 

Before you think I am looking down on youth, I am not. I think we were probably all like that at their age, but we just weren't as vocal and weren't surrounded by others who agreed with us. My parents struggled, I didn't realize till years after they were gone just how much. Oh, how I wish I could hug them and say I am sorry for being such a selfish brat. 

The thing is, giving a child everything is not the answer, but it is something every parent wants to be able to do. I guess it's a good thing God hasn't allowed me to have the resources to give to my children all that I want to because it would short circuit what He wants to do in their lives...the plan He has for THEM. 

It is in the struggle that we grow. We've all heard the story of the person who "helped" a butterfly out of the cocoon or the bird from the egg...they discover that because of  the "helping" the creature doesn't survive. The struggle is necessary.

Our head knows this, sometimes even our hearts realize this is true; but then that precious child looks at us and you can see that they no longer see you as the superhero they once did. In fact, at times they look at us in disgust as utter failures...and it hurts. The arrow no longer has that rubber tip, it is sharp and jagged and it finds its way to our heart. Think I'm exaggerating? Ask any parent who has been on the receiving end of one of those looks. The pain is very real.

I don't like to write a blog that is filled with hopelessness and this one is not...for in time there is a glimmer of hope that shines through. The seeds of love and faith that you have planted in them will grow. God's Word does not return void and we've planted it in them. We may not see it yet, but it will come. 

Train up a child in the way that they should go...our job is training, their job is to go. Somewhere in between along with all the pain and frustration, there will come joy. I have to believe it because God said it was so...and "God don't tell no lies."

One more thing. As we talked, I remembered another "parent" who had provided for their child and taught him in the way that he should go only to have the child turn and do something very, very stupid. Maybe he thought his father was holding out on him. Perhaps you've heard of him. His name was Adam, and he had a wife named Eve. 

God understands a my heartbreak and frustration. Somehow that makes me feel a little better.

So, no matter what those "other parents" do, don't worry. They are working to raise the child God entrusted to them. It may look like they are somehow doing a better job, but God knew what He was doing when He gave this child to you...even if you are pretty sure He must have made a mistake. Don't look at the "other parents, look to Him. Trust Him. He's got this. 

After my conversation with that parent, I heard the following song come on the radio. It could be the anthem for all parents everywhere. I will trust in You

Helpful advice on parenting: Joe McGee Ministries

Side note: As I searched for a picture to go with this blog, I remembered that children are "arrows"...as we launch them into the world they go forth to destroy the enemy, each in their own way.  Special thanks to Madi and her mom for allowing me to use her photo for this blog. She is one arrow that is going far and I look forward to hearing all the wonderful things that she will do!

Proverbs 22:6
Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.

Take offense...

It seems that the entire world is "offended" lately. We walk around afraid that we might "say" something that will offend someone else while we are clueless to what we have done. We used to call it "hurt feelings," but "offense" sounds so much more sophisticated. 

Offense is something that can happen even when nothing offensive was intended! For example, once I happened to laughingly say to a group of people "Oh, you people have too much time on your hands. Can you please watch my students while I run to the restroom..." Now, by "you people", I was referring to the group of people sitting in front of me discussing some tv show that was popular at the time. It really did not occur to me that the entire group happened to be of a different race than me, but after I walked away, someone in the group took an "offense". Thankfully another person in the group helped me out. They basically said, "Come on - this is Donna. You know she didn't mean that." Someone mistook something I said off-handedly to be somehow directed toward them in a negative way. 

That was on my mind this morning (for different reasons) when I started thinking about the word, "offense." Offense means something that causes another person to be hurt or angry, or it can mean an illegal act, but it also can have a very positive meaning...just ask my son. 

My son has played football for a number of years now and to begin with, he found himself on the defensive team, and he didn't really like it. He wanted nothing more than to play offense, specifically he wanted to carry the ball. He appreciated the job the defense did, but HE wanted to play offense! No matter how good the defense is, it was the offense that moved the ball down the field for the score.

Watching my son play offense has been a real learning experience for this mom. My prayer life has definitely INCREASED because every time he is on that field, someone is out to hit him. It's the other team's job to keep him from making progress, sometimes quite violently! While he does not like the "dirty teams" that he has played, I have never heard him complain about the other team doing their job. He has come home covered with bruises, and left a few on the other team as well, and not once has he whined that the other team was trying to keep him from advancing. If anything, he just worked harder to get strong enough to break through the opposing line!

What would happen if instead of thinking of offense as being "unfair" we considered it our chance to become stronger?

We shouldn't really be surprised when life is tough. The Bible tells us to consider it all JOY when tests and trials come our way because they make us stronger. I wonder if my son thinks it's a joy when the other team blocks him? It definitely means they see him as a threat!

Maybe it's time to rethink our ideas about offense. Maybe it's time we focused on seeing offense not as something that happens to us. It will come, especially if we are living life; just don't take it personally. I've watched my son actually help another player off the ground and then congratulate him for making a good play, and they have done the same. What would it be like if we did that in everyday life?

I realize there is the verse that says if something we do offends another, we should avoid it, but that seems to be speaking about other believers who may not yet be mature in their faith. (1 Cor. 8) Keeping that in mind, I don't want to offend nor do I want to be the one offended! Just as my son doesn't want to trip up another player on his team, he also doesn't want to be tripped! We should expect that as believers we will all be working together toward the same goal - growing in Christ!

I've got a LONG way to go before I can walk the walk of being on the offense and still not taking offense, but I'm ready to give it a try. I'm no longer content to simply be on defense, I'm ready to make progress. 

One last point that probably comes from the "English teacher" in me. Maybe the difference in it all lies in a tiny little article-adjective, the difference between "an" and "the". It's time to stop taking "an" offense but to instead take "the" offense. I am in no way out to be hurtful to anyone around me, and honestly I need to realize that others aren't going out of their way to be hurtful to me. Should the opportunities come to take an offense instead of the offense, I will choose to realize it must mean that the enemy of my soul sees me as a threat, and I'm okay with that.

I really hope that you don't find that "offensive."

James 1:2-4The Message (MSG)

2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

I stumbled across another good view on "taking offense" as I searched for a picture for this blog. It's worth checking out. Taking offense

It will get better, but first...

It is Spring Break and like most good teachers I am spending my time wisely - cleaning! Well, cleaning may not be the correct term. Digging out from under the pile of "stuff" that accumulates during the school year that I keep putting off till later would be more accurate.

I'm not the best housekeeper, but honestly I'm not the worst. It's just that during the school year I come home and the last thing on my mind is dealing with housework. Add to the mix my sweet daughter who occasionally "cleans" for me (which means it all gets stuffed into a closet no matter what it is) and when I finally get a few days off, SOMETHING has to be done!

I put off that closet all week but this is the last day of break and that closet has been taunting me all week long. Today I plugged in my courage and opened that closet door.

I was immediately greeted with piles of Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, craft supplies, and a few unidentifiable costume pieces. In my defense, I do children's ministry and you never know what you'll need for a Sunday morning object lesson AND my daughter was the one to put all the odd and end Christmas supplies in the wrong closet. Still, somebody had to do something with that closet and I am "somebody".

It wasn't long before I had pulled out half the contents of the closet and it was piled on the table, the counter and the floor. That's where today's random thought came in...the closet was bad, and it was going to be better, but in the middle it looked a whole lot worse.

Life is a lot like my closet, whether it's getting healthy, parenting, or even dealing with finances. Getting to where you want to be can get messy and in the middle of it, things may even look a lot worse than when you started, but don't give up. It's just a part of the process.

Take for example, dieting and getting in shape. Ever see someone who is OUT of shape start going to the gym? After a couple of visits they don't look like they are getting stronger; they look like they need to be in physical therapy just to be able to walk! But anyone who has made it through those first agonizing sessions knows, they are getting stronger...and quitting is NOT the answer, even though they may feel like it.

So why is it that I am able to understand that in closet cleaning and in working out and just about every other area of my life the "looking worse instead of better is all a part of the process but in my prayer life and in Bible study I forget. I start to pray and things don't get better - they get FAR worse! I was just reminded of that part in the movie "War Room" when Priscilla Shirer's character prayed and instead of everything suddenly becoming sunshine and lollipops it looked like everything was falling apart at once. Of course it looks that way, because it will get better but first...

Remember the story of Daniel when he prayed and an angel came to him. The angel told him that he had been sent the moment that Daniel had humbled himself and prayed, but that the prince of Persia had delayed him. I have to wonder what all was going on in Daniel's life during those three weeks of waiting. Did his world look a little like the mess I had all over the place as I tried to clean out that closet? Was he surrounded by seemingly unending chaos? Was his wrapping paper mixed in with craft supplies, children's costumes, object lessons, and junk that should have just been thrown away a long time ago? Oh wait, we're talking about Daniel here, not my closet...sorry.

The point is that when we set out to set something right, something that has somehow gotten out of order, it more often than not starts to look a whole lot worse before it finally starts to look better. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's so we can realize that it's a lot harder to get things BACK into order than it would have been so just keep them in order in the first place. Maybe it's so we can learn to recognize what is really important. Maybe it's just because we live in a fallen world. 

We will be tempted to just stuff everything back into the closet and quickly close the door. With any luck no one will look in there till summer - or ever...but instead we push through. After all, we can't just leave the Santa wrapping paper and the dolphin bank and the purple fairy wings sitting in the middle of the dining room table, and we know eventually someone will open that door.  

Don't give up. While it might look like things are getting worse instead of better, we know that He Who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it if we will hang in there and let Him! Now on to that OTHER closet.

Daniel 10:12 (MSG)

“‘Relax, Daniel,’ he continued, ‘don’t be afraid. From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you. But I was waylaid by the angel-prince of the kingdom of Persia and was delayed for a good three weeks. But then Michael, one of the chief angel-princes, intervened to help me. I left him there with the prince of the kingdom of Persia. And now I’m here to help you understand what will eventually happen to your people. The vision has to do with what’s ahead.’

Wet wood...

It's another rainy day in South Mississippi, not nearly as rainy as last week when we had major flooding in the area, but rainy all the same. Maybe it's that rain, combined with too many "survival shows" on tv that prompted today's random thought about wet wood.

Lately I have realized that I am tired, not physically tired, but weary. Most parents can relate, especially those parents of teenagers. While these children are precious gifts from God, when they turn into teenagers they can become....difficult at times.

But it's not just having teenagers that can make you tired. Sometimes life is just so daily, it has a way of wearing away till we are simply saturated and weighed down. Then, no matter how much we try to shake it off, we are like wet wood on the survival shows. We try to start a fire within but promising sparks fall flat and fizzle out with a sigh.

It's not just one thing, it's a million and one things. Like rain drops that start slow and then build in force till they are a wall of water, they leave a person cold and tired and surrounded by wet. It's hard to even hold much hope for the sparks anymore. We used to have a saying in our church, "If that don't light your fire, then your wood's wet." I guess that my wood is just wet.

That's when I remembered a story about some wet wood. It wasn't during a rainy season, in fact the people were in the third year of a drought. The ruler of the day was King Ahab and he was not what anyone would call a Godly man, plus he was married to an evil woman named Jezebel who was a worshipper of Baal. In the middle of all this chaos was God's man, Elijah and the setting for a major confrontation.

I won't retell the whole story here, there's a link where you can read it in its entirety at the end of the blog; but my favorite part is when both Elijah and the prophets of Baal set up bulls for sacrifice. Whichever God answered with fire from heaven would win. The prophets of Baal failed miserably and when it was Elijah's turn, he did something very odd. He poured water all over his wood. Not just a little, but so much that it filled a moat around the altar. His wood was WET!

All that wet wood didn't stop God from doing something beyond amazing. He sent down fire, lit that wet wood, burned up the sacrifice, and even dried up the water around it, all with wet wood. It really didn't matter that the wood was tired and wet, God used it to burn BRIGHT for all to see!

This really gives me hope. Maybe others are like me, and have been feeling a little weary lately - like the wood's wet and the fire has just gone out. Maybe you've even tried to get the fire going again, but nothing has worked. It seems...impossible. But nothing is impossible with God.

Wet wood or not, I believe we can still burn for God so that the whole world will see. Today I discovered that it helps to get in the car and just drive and pray. As I did, the prayers that came from my lips gave me hope...hope for fire! So turn up the praise music and allow God to start the fire inside. Have hope and burn brightly my friends.

Elijah and the prophets of Baal

Do I trust my GPS more than God...

Today was a quick spring break trip for my daughter and me. Like many of our trips, it would include a trip by the outlet mall (a place we've visited many times before), but first we planned to check out a future field trip location that was "on our way". Not long after we left the house, I handed my daughter my phone and asked her to program in our location while I drove.

The first part of our journey was along very familiar territory, no problem. Then, about 45 minutes on the road, my trusty phone started to talk to me. "Turn right in 600 feet." Well, I hadn't seen a turn coming but okay. I turned right.

We drove on for a few more miles and my phone started talking again. "Turn in one mile." Okay. No problem. I'm just driving, driving, driving...and looking at the sights along the way. A few more miles and it was time to turn again. It didn't look like the way I thought I should go, but I really didn't have much choice but to follow directions. I had no clue where we were headed, but as long as I follow the instructions from my GPS, I could just enjoy the drive. I could notice the scenery and when the time came to turn, I knew what to do, which way to go. All I had to do is drive and listen...wow, that makes things a LOT easier.

At one point, traffic was really heavy and I actually missed a turn. My GPS patiently (okay, well, it didn't yell) told me to make a u-turn at the next road left. Done. Now I was headed down what seemed to be a dead-end road. Still, GPS said I was headed the right way...sure enough I soon saw a sign pointing to our destination just ahead. Within minutes we arrived safe and sound. Thanks GPS!

That's when the random thought came, "Do I put more trust in my GPS than I do with God?"

Think about it. If I trust God as much as I say I do, then why don't I simply "drive" and trust that when directions are needed, they will come? It removes a lot of the pressure of trying to figure out how God was going to get me where I need to be. How much easier it would be to follow God if I just relaxed about the "how" to get there and simply enjoyed the "scenery" along the way? How much easier knowing that if I do make a wrong turn, God will tell me where to turn around?

No more trying to figure out how God will do things. No more trying to "help" make it happen. No more worrying if I'm actually on the correct road (okay, that one may be harder to do...) None of those would have helped my GPS today, in fact it might have actually made my GPS want to yell at me! Overall, it's going to be a LOT easier on me if I just trust and drive. 

I know my GPS may fail me, but God will NEVER let me down. That is something I can definitely put my trust in.

Isaiah 30:21(NIV)

21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Other parents...

I think just about every parent has had this conversation with their child. It starts out with a "simple" request from the child and everything goes smoothly until that point when the parent says "no". 

Sometimes the "no" comes because the parent sees that something is not good for the child, but as they get older the "no" often comes because the parent is simply unable to grant the request due to lack of resources, either financial or otherwise. At this point the child pulls out the dreaded "other parents" arrow, the one that was tipped with a rubber stopper when they were a small child but is now sharpened to a steely point and pierces straight to the heart. 

The child isn't trying to hurt the parent, they just do not understand. They "want" and as a parent we desperately "want" to help but we have long ago come to the realization that we are not Superman. Heck, we're not even Ironman or Hulk or even a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. At best we are the sidekick that is constantly having to be rescued. We are Jimmy Olsen or Pepper or whoever it was that hung out with the Hulk. We are helpless.

Recently I stood and had a conversation with another parent who was dealing with this same kind of situation. I wanted to just hug her because I understand! Oh, how I understand! Other parents seem to be able to "give" their children everything and we stand there with nothing in our hands, hoping we'll figure out a way to simply hang on and not drown in bills before they become "self-sufficient adults"...and in the process, of course, we feel like we have failed them somehow.

It's a vicious cycle. We feel guilt that we've allowed them to become so selfish and at the same time wish so much that we could make things easier on them. We see them struggle to grow and they look to us as if somehow we can make it easier...only we can't. 

As parents, we feel that we are the only ones struggling - the only ones who somehow failed at this parenting thing, but we aren't. That is what the enemy wants us to believe, that we're the only ones... that way he keeps us isolated and in despair. But look around. There is a whole generation with their hand out saying they "deserve" something for free. 

Before you think I am looking down on youth, I am not. I think we were probably all like that at their age, but we just weren't as vocal and weren't surrounded by others who agreed with us. My parents struggled, I didn't realize till years after they were gone just how much. Oh, how I wish I could hug them and say I am sorry for being such a selfish brat. 

The thing is, giving a child everything is not the answer, but it is something every parent wants to be able to do. I guess it's a good thing God hasn't allowed me to have the resources to give to my children all that I want to because it would short circuit what He wants to do in their lives...the plan He has for THEM. 

It is in the struggle that we grow. We've all heard the story of the person who "helped" a butterfly out of the cocoon or the bird from the egg...they discover that because of  the "helping" the creature doesn't survive. The struggle is necessary.

Our head knows this, sometimes even our hearts realize this is true; but then that precious child looks at us and you can see that they no longer see you as the superhero they once did. In fact, at times they look at us in disgust as utter failures...and it hurts. The arrow no longer has that rubber tip, it is sharp and jagged and it finds its way to our heart. Think I'm exaggerating? Ask any parent who has been on the receiving end of one of those looks. The pain is very real.

I don't like to write a blog that is filled with hopelessness and this one is not...for in time there is a glimmer of hope that shines through. The seeds of love and faith that you have planted in them will grow. God's Word does not return void and we've planted it in them. We may not see it yet, but it will come. 

Train up a child in the way that they should go...our job is training, their job is to go. Somewhere in between along with all the pain and frustration, there will come joy. I have to believe it because God said it was so...and "God don't tell no lies."

One more thing. As we talked, I remembered another "parent" who had provided for their child and taught him in the way that he should go only to have the child turn and do something very, very stupid. Maybe he thought his father was holding out on him. Perhaps you've heard of him. His name was Adam, and he had a wife named Eve. 

God understands a my heartbreak and frustration. Somehow that makes me feel a little better.

So, no matter what those "other parents" do, don't worry. They are working to raise the child God entrusted to them. It may look like they are somehow doing a better job, but God knew what He was doing when He gave this child to you...even if you are pretty sure He must have made a mistake. Don't look at the "other parents, look to Him. Trust Him. He's got this. 

After my conversation with that parent, I heard the following song come on the radio. It could be the anthem for all parents everywhere. I will trust in You

Helpful advice on parenting: Joe McGee Ministries

Side note: As I searched for a picture to go with this blog, I remembered that children are "arrows"...as we launch them into the world they go forth to destroy the enemy, each in their own way.  Special thanks to Madi and her mom for allowing me to use her photo for this blog. She is one arrow that is going far and I look forward to hearing all the wonderful things that she will do!

Proverbs 22:6
Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.

I'm not ready...

Summer is getting closer and as a teacher I can say, I AM READY! Oh, my body isn't ready, and my plans aren't ready, but I am! I am SO ready.

But for other things in life, I am so NOT ready.

This summer my children will both move out. My daughter will be moving in with some friends for her first "place" and my son will be headed off to college. (I will not go down that whole, "where did the years go" stream of thought, but I do wonder how it passed so quickly.)

I remember longing for children for so many years, hoping for them. I was so ready - I thought. I was totally NOT ready for the challenges that came with raising kids. Thankfully, God has been more than able when I was not - which was most of the time. Now they are young adults...and again I'm not ready.

Oh, I'm ready to let them grow and become all they need to be. My daughter has become such an amazing young woman and my son...well, he is pretty amazing, too. Let's just say that the words of a friend, "God allows teenage boys to be so difficult so it won't hurt as much when they move out" is proving to be true. So, I am looking forward to their move in many ways...but not ready at the same time.

Most of all, I'm not ready to be old. Before anyone tries to tell me that I'm not that old, realize that I do have a mirror and I have looked into it. And thanks to "Time Hop" I get to see further evidence of the ravages of time. I'm not sure if parenting or teaching has taken such a toll on me, but those gray hairs, wrinkled skin, and tired expression didn't happen overnight, even if it seems like they did.

We spend our lives planning for things like "What we will do when we grow up" or "when we marry" or "when we have kids" and some smart people even plan for retirement...but I'm not sure any of us plans to grow old. It just sort of sneaks up on you like some venomous snake and digs it's poison into you as you innocently pass by on the trail of life. Next thing you know, you look like your parents - or worse, your GRANDPARENTS!

I won't lie. I don't like this whole getting older stuff. My body doesn't work right, my memory is fleeting at best and the world keeps changing faster and faster and I'm still just trying to master the last great "new thing". Who am I kidding? I'm just now got a handle on texting, I don't even have a clue about the rest. The other day my daughter "face timed" me. She found it hilarious that I held the phone up to my ear and all she could see was a black screen...and my hair. The days I used to dread of someone being able to see me in my pj's without makeup while on the phone have become a reality...and to think some people carry their phones into the restroom! 

See, I am old...and I am simply not ready for it. But like most things in life, ready or not here it comes. My only comfort can be found in the Lord. He promised that ALL the days of my life were prepared before I'd even lived one day. (Ps 139) So whether I am ready or not, God is. This is a part of His plan.

There is a song that says God makes all things beautiful. It's hard to believe that He can make this stage of my life "beautiful" - especially when I look in the mirror. But if God has a plan, I know it is for my good and His glory...what could be more beautiful than that? Old dreams once thought to be long dead and gone are being promised anew. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that either!

So ready or not...the adventure continues. Guess God's not done with us "older" people yet. That's good news for the weary soul.

Psalm 139: 15 - 18 (Msg)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
    God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them—
    any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!