It will get better, but first...

It is Spring Break and like most good teachers I am spending my time wisely - cleaning! Well, cleaning may not be the correct term. Digging out from under the pile of "stuff" that accumulates during the school year that I keep putting off till later would be more accurate.

I'm not the best housekeeper, but honestly I'm not the worst. It's just that during the school year I come home and the last thing on my mind is dealing with housework. Add to the mix my sweet daughter who occasionally "cleans" for me (which means it all gets stuffed into a closet no matter what it is) and when I finally get a few days off, SOMETHING has to be done!

I put off that closet all week but this is the last day of break and that closet has been taunting me all week long. Today I plugged in my courage and opened that closet door.

I was immediately greeted with piles of Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, craft supplies, and a few unidentifiable costume pieces. In my defense, I do children's ministry and you never know what you'll need for a Sunday morning object lesson AND my daughter was the one to put all the odd and end Christmas supplies in the wrong closet. Still, somebody had to do something with that closet and I am "somebody".

It wasn't long before I had pulled out half the contents of the closet and it was piled on the table, the counter and the floor. That's where today's random thought came in...the closet was bad, and it was going to be better, but in the middle it looked a whole lot worse.

Life is a lot like my closet, whether it's getting healthy, parenting, or even dealing with finances. Getting to where you want to be can get messy and in the middle of it, things may even look a lot worse than when you started, but don't give up. It's just a part of the process.

Take for example, dieting and getting in shape. Ever see someone who is OUT of shape start going to the gym? After a couple of visits they don't look like they are getting stronger; they look like they need to be in physical therapy just to be able to walk! But anyone who has made it through those first agonizing sessions knows, they are getting stronger...and quitting is NOT the answer, even though they may feel like it.

So why is it that I am able to understand that in closet cleaning and in working out and just about every other area of my life the "looking worse instead of better is all a part of the process but in my prayer life and in Bible study I forget. I start to pray and things don't get better - they get FAR worse! I was just reminded of that part in the movie "War Room" when Priscilla Shirer's character prayed and instead of everything suddenly becoming sunshine and lollipops it looked like everything was falling apart at once. Of course it looks that way, because it will get better but first...

Remember the story of Daniel when he prayed and an angel came to him. The angel told him that he had been sent the moment that Daniel had humbled himself and prayed, but that the prince of Persia had delayed him. I have to wonder what all was going on in Daniel's life during those three weeks of waiting. Did his world look a little like the mess I had all over the place as I tried to clean out that closet? Was he surrounded by seemingly unending chaos? Was his wrapping paper mixed in with craft supplies, children's costumes, object lessons, and junk that should have just been thrown away a long time ago? Oh wait, we're talking about Daniel here, not my closet...sorry.

The point is that when we set out to set something right, something that has somehow gotten out of order, it more often than not starts to look a whole lot worse before it finally starts to look better. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's so we can realize that it's a lot harder to get things BACK into order than it would have been so just keep them in order in the first place. Maybe it's so we can learn to recognize what is really important. Maybe it's just because we live in a fallen world. 

We will be tempted to just stuff everything back into the closet and quickly close the door. With any luck no one will look in there till summer - or ever...but instead we push through. After all, we can't just leave the Santa wrapping paper and the dolphin bank and the purple fairy wings sitting in the middle of the dining room table, and we know eventually someone will open that door.  

Don't give up. While it might look like things are getting worse instead of better, we know that He Who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it if we will hang in there and let Him! Now on to that OTHER closet.

Daniel 10:12 (MSG)

“‘Relax, Daniel,’ he continued, ‘don’t be afraid. From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you. But I was waylaid by the angel-prince of the kingdom of Persia and was delayed for a good three weeks. But then Michael, one of the chief angel-princes, intervened to help me. I left him there with the prince of the kingdom of Persia. And now I’m here to help you understand what will eventually happen to your people. The vision has to do with what’s ahead.’

Wet wood...

It's another rainy day in South Mississippi, not nearly as rainy as last week when we had major flooding in the area, but rainy all the same. Maybe it's that rain, combined with too many "survival shows" on tv that prompted today's random thought about wet wood.

Lately I have realized that I am tired, not physically tired, but weary. Most parents can relate, especially those parents of teenagers. While these children are precious gifts from God, when they turn into teenagers they can become....difficult at times.

But it's not just having teenagers that can make you tired. Sometimes life is just so daily, it has a way of wearing away till we are simply saturated and weighed down. Then, no matter how much we try to shake it off, we are like wet wood on the survival shows. We try to start a fire within but promising sparks fall flat and fizzle out with a sigh.

It's not just one thing, it's a million and one things. Like rain drops that start slow and then build in force till they are a wall of water, they leave a person cold and tired and surrounded by wet. It's hard to even hold much hope for the sparks anymore. We used to have a saying in our church, "If that don't light your fire, then your wood's wet." I guess that my wood is just wet.

That's when I remembered a story about some wet wood. It wasn't during a rainy season, in fact the people were in the third year of a drought. The ruler of the day was King Ahab and he was not what anyone would call a Godly man, plus he was married to an evil woman named Jezebel who was a worshipper of Baal. In the middle of all this chaos was God's man, Elijah and the setting for a major confrontation.

I won't retell the whole story here, there's a link where you can read it in its entirety at the end of the blog; but my favorite part is when both Elijah and the prophets of Baal set up bulls for sacrifice. Whichever God answered with fire from heaven would win. The prophets of Baal failed miserably and when it was Elijah's turn, he did something very odd. He poured water all over his wood. Not just a little, but so much that it filled a moat around the altar. His wood was WET!

All that wet wood didn't stop God from doing something beyond amazing. He sent down fire, lit that wet wood, burned up the sacrifice, and even dried up the water around it, all with wet wood. It really didn't matter that the wood was tired and wet, God used it to burn BRIGHT for all to see!

This really gives me hope. Maybe others are like me, and have been feeling a little weary lately - like the wood's wet and the fire has just gone out. Maybe you've even tried to get the fire going again, but nothing has worked. It seems...impossible. But nothing is impossible with God.

Wet wood or not, I believe we can still burn for God so that the whole world will see. Today I discovered that it helps to get in the car and just drive and pray. As I did, the prayers that came from my lips gave me hope...hope for fire! So turn up the praise music and allow God to start the fire inside. Have hope and burn brightly my friends.

Elijah and the prophets of Baal

Do I trust my GPS more than God...

Today was a quick spring break trip for my daughter and me. Like many of our trips, it would include a trip by the outlet mall (a place we've visited many times before), but first we planned to check out a future field trip location that was "on our way". Not long after we left the house, I handed my daughter my phone and asked her to program in our location while I drove.

The first part of our journey was along very familiar territory, no problem. Then, about 45 minutes on the road, my trusty phone started to talk to me. "Turn right in 600 feet." Well, I hadn't seen a turn coming but okay. I turned right.

We drove on for a few more miles and my phone started talking again. "Turn in one mile." Okay. No problem. I'm just driving, driving, driving...and looking at the sights along the way. A few more miles and it was time to turn again. It didn't look like the way I thought I should go, but I really didn't have much choice but to follow directions. I had no clue where we were headed, but as long as I follow the instructions from my GPS, I could just enjoy the drive. I could notice the scenery and when the time came to turn, I knew what to do, which way to go. All I had to do is drive and listen...wow, that makes things a LOT easier.

At one point, traffic was really heavy and I actually missed a turn. My GPS patiently (okay, well, it didn't yell) told me to make a u-turn at the next road left. Done. Now I was headed down what seemed to be a dead-end road. Still, GPS said I was headed the right way...sure enough I soon saw a sign pointing to our destination just ahead. Within minutes we arrived safe and sound. Thanks GPS!

That's when the random thought came, "Do I put more trust in my GPS than I do with God?"

Think about it. If I trust God as much as I say I do, then why don't I simply "drive" and trust that when directions are needed, they will come? It removes a lot of the pressure of trying to figure out how God was going to get me where I need to be. How much easier it would be to follow God if I just relaxed about the "how" to get there and simply enjoyed the "scenery" along the way? How much easier knowing that if I do make a wrong turn, God will tell me where to turn around?

No more trying to figure out how God will do things. No more trying to "help" make it happen. No more worrying if I'm actually on the correct road (okay, that one may be harder to do...) None of those would have helped my GPS today, in fact it might have actually made my GPS want to yell at me! Overall, it's going to be a LOT easier on me if I just trust and drive. 

I know my GPS may fail me, but God will NEVER let me down. That is something I can definitely put my trust in.

Isaiah 30:21(NIV)

21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Other parents...

I think just about every parent has had this conversation with their child. It starts out with a "simple" request from the child and everything goes smoothly until that point when the parent says "no". 

Sometimes the "no" comes because the parent sees that something is not good for the child, but as they get older the "no" often comes because the parent is simply unable to grant the request due to lack of resources, either financial or otherwise. At this point the child pulls out the dreaded "other parents" arrow, the one that was tipped with a rubber stopper when they were a small child but is now sharpened to a steely point and pierces straight to the heart. 

The child isn't trying to hurt the parent, they just do not understand. They "want" and as a parent we desperately "want" to help but we have long ago come to the realization that we are not Superman. Heck, we're not even Ironman or Hulk or even a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. At best we are the sidekick that is constantly having to be rescued. We are Jimmy Olsen or Pepper or whoever it was that hung out with the Hulk. We are helpless.

Recently I stood and had a conversation with another parent who was dealing with this same kind of situation. I wanted to just hug her because I understand! Oh, how I understand! Other parents seem to be able to "give" their children everything and we stand there with nothing in our hands, hoping we'll figure out a way to simply hang on and not drown in bills before they become "self-sufficient adults"...and in the process, of course, we feel like we have failed them somehow.

It's a vicious cycle. We feel guilt that we've allowed them to become so selfish and at the same time wish so much that we could make things easier on them. We see them struggle to grow and they look to us as if somehow we can make it easier...only we can't. 

As parents, we feel that we are the only ones struggling - the only ones who somehow failed at this parenting thing, but we aren't. That is what the enemy wants us to believe, that we're the only ones... that way he keeps us isolated and in despair. But look around. There is a whole generation with their hand out saying they "deserve" something for free. 

Before you think I am looking down on youth, I am not. I think we were probably all like that at their age, but we just weren't as vocal and weren't surrounded by others who agreed with us. My parents struggled, I didn't realize till years after they were gone just how much. Oh, how I wish I could hug them and say I am sorry for being such a selfish brat. 

The thing is, giving a child everything is not the answer, but it is something every parent wants to be able to do. I guess it's a good thing God hasn't allowed me to have the resources to give to my children all that I want to because it would short circuit what He wants to do in their lives...the plan He has for THEM. 

It is in the struggle that we grow. We've all heard the story of the person who "helped" a butterfly out of the cocoon or the bird from the egg...they discover that because of  the "helping" the creature doesn't survive. The struggle is necessary.

Our head knows this, sometimes even our hearts realize this is true; but then that precious child looks at us and you can see that they no longer see you as the superhero they once did. In fact, at times they look at us in disgust as utter failures...and it hurts. The arrow no longer has that rubber tip, it is sharp and jagged and it finds its way to our heart. Think I'm exaggerating? Ask any parent who has been on the receiving end of one of those looks. The pain is very real.

I don't like to write a blog that is filled with hopelessness and this one is not...for in time there is a glimmer of hope that shines through. The seeds of love and faith that you have planted in them will grow. God's Word does not return void and we've planted it in them. We may not see it yet, but it will come. 

Train up a child in the way that they should go...our job is training, their job is to go. Somewhere in between along with all the pain and frustration, there will come joy. I have to believe it because God said it was so...and "God don't tell no lies."

One more thing. As we talked, I remembered another "parent" who had provided for their child and taught him in the way that he should go only to have the child turn and do something very, very stupid. Maybe he thought his father was holding out on him. Perhaps you've heard of him. His name was Adam, and he had a wife named Eve. 

God understands a my heartbreak and frustration. Somehow that makes me feel a little better.

So, no matter what those "other parents" do, don't worry. They are working to raise the child God entrusted to them. It may look like they are somehow doing a better job, but God knew what He was doing when He gave this child to you...even if you are pretty sure He must have made a mistake. Don't look at the "other parents, look to Him. Trust Him. He's got this. 

After my conversation with that parent, I heard the following song come on the radio. It could be the anthem for all parents everywhere. I will trust in You

Helpful advice on parenting: Joe McGee Ministries

Side note: As I searched for a picture to go with this blog, I remembered that children are "arrows"...as we launch them into the world they go forth to destroy the enemy, each in their own way.  Special thanks to Madi and her mom for allowing me to use her photo for this blog. She is one arrow that is going far and I look forward to hearing all the wonderful things that she will do!

Proverbs 22:6
Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.

I'm not ready...

Summer is getting closer and as a teacher I can say, I AM READY! Oh, my body isn't ready, and my plans aren't ready, but I am! I am SO ready.

But for other things in life, I am so NOT ready.

This summer my children will both move out. My daughter will be moving in with some friends for her first "place" and my son will be headed off to college. (I will not go down that whole, "where did the years go" stream of thought, but I do wonder how it passed so quickly.)

I remember longing for children for so many years, hoping for them. I was so ready - I thought. I was totally NOT ready for the challenges that came with raising kids. Thankfully, God has been more than able when I was not - which was most of the time. Now they are young adults...and again I'm not ready.

Oh, I'm ready to let them grow and become all they need to be. My daughter has become such an amazing young woman and my son...well, he is pretty amazing, too. Let's just say that the words of a friend, "God allows teenage boys to be so difficult so it won't hurt as much when they move out" is proving to be true. So, I am looking forward to their move in many ways...but not ready at the same time.

Most of all, I'm not ready to be old. Before anyone tries to tell me that I'm not that old, realize that I do have a mirror and I have looked into it. And thanks to "Time Hop" I get to see further evidence of the ravages of time. I'm not sure if parenting or teaching has taken such a toll on me, but those gray hairs, wrinkled skin, and tired expression didn't happen overnight, even if it seems like they did.

We spend our lives planning for things like "What we will do when we grow up" or "when we marry" or "when we have kids" and some smart people even plan for retirement...but I'm not sure any of us plans to grow old. It just sort of sneaks up on you like some venomous snake and digs it's poison into you as you innocently pass by on the trail of life. Next thing you know, you look like your parents - or worse, your GRANDPARENTS!

I won't lie. I don't like this whole getting older stuff. My body doesn't work right, my memory is fleeting at best and the world keeps changing faster and faster and I'm still just trying to master the last great "new thing". Who am I kidding? I'm just now got a handle on texting, I don't even have a clue about the rest. The other day my daughter "face timed" me. She found it hilarious that I held the phone up to my ear and all she could see was a black screen...and my hair. The days I used to dread of someone being able to see me in my pj's without makeup while on the phone have become a reality...and to think some people carry their phones into the restroom! 

See, I am old...and I am simply not ready for it. But like most things in life, ready or not here it comes. My only comfort can be found in the Lord. He promised that ALL the days of my life were prepared before I'd even lived one day. (Ps 139) So whether I am ready or not, God is. This is a part of His plan.

There is a song that says God makes all things beautiful. It's hard to believe that He can make this stage of my life "beautiful" - especially when I look in the mirror. But if God has a plan, I know it is for my good and His glory...what could be more beautiful than that? Old dreams once thought to be long dead and gone are being promised anew. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that either!

So ready or not...the adventure continues. Guess God's not done with us "older" people yet. That's good news for the weary soul.

Psalm 139: 15 - 18 (Msg)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
    God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them—
    any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!

The missing ingredient...

By now, my expertise at cooking is approaching legendary status....or perhaps I should say my LACK of expertise. I sincerely wish I had inherited the cooking gene from at least one side of my family - but somehow I have made it well into my adult years without ever attaining that elusive "I love to cook" trait that is so endearing in others. 

Take, for example, my wonderful breakfast muffins. I had finally discovered a recipe for breakfast muffins that were both nutritious and delicious! I made these muffins quite a few times, and I did well as long as I followed the recipe to a "t". Then one day, I decided I could remember how to make these muffins without referring to the paper recipe - after all, it was extremely simple and I had made them before. 

I set to work combining all my ingredients and popped them into the oven. They smelled wonderful - but, I did notice, a little different this time. After waiting the required 30 minutes (at least I think that's how long it was) I took my creation from the oven and eagerly poured myself a glass of milk so that I could sample the results. I took a huge bite and it was - plain. Something was missing. My wonderful muffins may have looked normal, but they were definitely FLAT in the taste department.

I racked my brain trying to retrace my cooking steps and figure out what had gone wrong...then it hit me. I forgot to put in the sugar. I had done everything else right, but I had forgotten the one ingredient that made my muffins sweet. Being resourceful and unwilling to toss them, I improvised by adding jam or topping each muffin with a non-calorie sweetener (as seen on tv). We managed to eat the entire batch, but the whole incident stuck with me. I had forgotten a key ingredient.

I have to wonder how many times in my day I do the same thing. I may do the right things, say the right things, even act the right way, but without that key ingredient - it all seems a little flat and tasteless. Without the sweetness of love, it's just not the same.

I have had times in my life when I knew I was speaking God's truth, but because I lacked that special ingredient, it's more than a little "flat". I spoke from my own cavalier attitude, and not from a heart of love. While it may have contained the same "nutritional value", it was still a little tough to swallow. I honestly wonder how many times in a day I do this and then wonder why the world does not receive the truth I have to share. (Did I mention I'm not a very good cook? Guess that goes for spiritual cooking as well.)

This Valentine's Day, I know I've got a lot to learn about cooking. You can say a prayer for my poor husband and family since I will probably be trying to cook a special Valentine's meal for them this evening. At least I know that it will be flavored with love....and hopefully that will make it taste just fine.

For more information of that "missing ingredient" go to 1 Corinthians 13 in your Bible. I think you'll like the recipe you find there.


1 Cor. 13 - The Way of Love


"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 
Love never gives up. 
Love cares more for others than for self. 
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
Love doesn't strut, 
Doesn't have a swelled head, 
Doesn't force itself on others, 
Isn't always "me first," 
Doesn't fly off the handle, 
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
Doesn't revel when others grovel, 
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
Puts up with anything, 
Trusts God always, 
Always looks for the best, 
Never looks back, 
But keeps going to the end."

*This is a repost from a few years back. Really wish I could remember what the recipe for those muffins was...at least I remember the recipe for love!

The test...

You know that subject in school you struggled with - no, not the one you failed and had to take over. The one you passed - barely. You breathed a sigh of relief and thought, "Thank goodness THAT is over! Now I can move on!" 

The problem is, in school, every lesson builds upon the one before. In simple terms, that "test" you barely passed will show up again, only harder with more layers added to it. And to make matters worse, the "new" problem you are dealing with cannot be solved unless you are able to understand the previous one. And by understand, I DON'T mean passed by the seat of your pants and a couple of lucky guesses!

Take for example subtracting fractions. If you thought that was tough and barely "got" it, just wait till the fractions start having a different denominator...or when they throw in mixed numbers, or when you have to start BORROWING! Oh the horror of it all!!!! Every step depends on you being able to do the first step.

I'm discovering that life works a lot like school. Every struggle, every lesson is not an end, but merely a checkpoint on the path. Little lessons we learned may not seem important, but they are building blocks to greater things.

Right now, I seem to be working on passing a test. It's probably one I should have mastered years ago, but the fact remains I have barely squeaked by and once again find myself staring at the "problem"...only this time it is a small part of an even greater "problem" that I need to understand. Maybe calling it a problem is too much, but it definitely is a check point I need to pass before moving forward. This time, I'd like to finally "get" it so that when I encounter it again it won't be so hard. I need to not only "pass" this test, I need to master it. I need to really understand.

I wonder if others are like me and find that the tests keep getting harder...guess that means we're making progress...at least a little bit. Maybe later I'll share the "topic" of my test....after I at least come close to passing.

Thank heavens we don't have to do this alone.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.