Okay, it's been a while since I've blogged, but I try not to write unless the "muse" really strikes and obviously, it hasn't struck in a while! Must be summer.
Today, I finished up a wonderful weekend at our church with friends at a Loving Well Weekend. The guest speaker (via tape of course) was Beth Moore. Anyone who has heard her teaching can tell you she has quite a way of relating truth through stories....maybe that's what helped stir my "Random thoughts" again.
In our small group, we were discussing that as women we tend to beat ourselves up sometimes over words we've spoken, or things we've done or left undone....the list goes on and on. Of course, if anyone asks us how we are doing we'll just say "fine". We don't let anyone get too close or see what's really going on inside. We play it safe....everything is just "fine". Of course, as many emails will tell you (mostly those attempting to interpret the difference in male and female speak), fine is anything but. That's where the picture started to form in my head. The picture of my daughter's cleaning.
Now, let me begin by saying that my daughter has really grown in her cleaning since her early attempts, and I'm very thankful for the wonderful help that she is! (Have I sufficiently covered myself so that she won't stop cleaning? I sure hope so.) However, in her early attempts at cleaning, there was more "hiding" than real cleaning going on. You know what I mean. The counters in the kitchen would be spotless! Everything was magazine perfect. Anyone would be so happy to call that kitchen their own. Things got kind of interesting however when I started looking for things.
"Honey, where are those bills I had on the counter? I need to pay them." Or, "Where is the can opener? It was right here and now I can't find it." You get the picture. You see, in the early days of cleaning, she would simply take whatever was there and stuff it away...as long as you couldn't see it, it was okay. I have found some of the strangest things in the strangest places after one of her cleaning sessions. Sometimes the cupboards would be packed so tight, when I opened them, all manner of things fell out on my head.
Right there is where the word picture REALLY hits home. Her cleaning isn't all that different from the way I sometimes deal with life. How many times have I simply stuffed the garbage in my life into some "cupboard" so that everything on the outside looked picture perfect? Instead of really dealing with anger, hurts, whatever - I find ways to put it away, presumably to deal with later. Only I don't deal with it later. I just stuff some more stuff in there the next time I need to look "perfect" and the next time and the next time until some poor unsuspecting soul (usually my husband) opens up the "cabinet" looking for something only to have all my garbage pour down upon his head. I hope you can see this picture as clearly as I do right now. My poor loving husband standing there with piles of emotional garbage falling around him and all he really wanted was a cup of coffee.
I think that for many of us, it's time to start cleaning out the garbage. Whatever the past has dealt, or just left lying around on our counters, it's time to either use it, or get rid of it. It is no longer acceptable to stuff it into the cabinet of our hearts and minds like a ticking time bomb or loaded cabinet waiting to spill out onto those around me. There is no need to hide the hurt or rehearse the hurt or frame it and look at it each day. It's time to toss it. It's time to accept my less than magazine perfect life and realize I have been blessed beyond what I could ever hope or imagine...and garbage stuffed into the corners doesn't fit who I am called to be.
If this somehow spoke to someone, I pray your day be blessed with an abundance of sunshine in the dark corners and joy as you allow God to help you "toss out the garbage". It's a decision that we have to make everyday. The good news is, after a while it gets easier to do. Garbage thoughts don't have a chance to build up cause we get rid of them when they hit the door....not store them away for later.
So that's my Random thought for the week. Next time I'll try and write about something lighter - like why women get so excited about a sale!