Monday, June 22, 2009

Another day on the scales

That did it...I was officially ticked....furious...... "don't get in my way" kind of mad. After a week of diligently watching what I ate and working out faithfully I stepped onto the scale to discover I had gained ANOTHER pound. Now I was over two pounds heavier than I was when I started! I wanted to kick something...and myself. I walked around in a blue funk for most of the day. I begrudgingly tried to continue to make better eating decisions, but instead of working out, I took a nap. Even as I closed my eyes, that number loomed in my head.

Now, I can almost hear some of you saying the proverbial "Muscle weighs more than're just gaining muscle." If that is the case, then maybe I should quit teaching because at this rate I should be ready for a life as a professional body builder by August. Let's be brutally honest...I don't care if it's muscle or fat that I'm trying to squeeze into my jeans...what I really want there is a little air....a little breathing room between my stomach and the waist band would be a welcome change!

I know I can't be alone in this frustration...if I were then diet pills and weight loss programs would be something seen only in science fiction. (By the way, have you noticed in science fiction the only people that are overweight are the villains? Think Jaba the Hut from Star Wars...see what I mean?) I know others are struggling, but it doesn't really make me feel better. I want to be supportive of them while being slim and trim myself. I want to be "Bob" or "Jillian" from Biggest Loser fame who pushes others to be their best...I don't want to have to fight this battle myself. But maybe it's in fighting the battle that I can learn to help someone else. I can sympathize with the frustration people feel when they watch someone eat a triple hot fudge sundae and never gain a pound while they lick the spoon after serving their kids ice cream and gain two. I'm learning to understand the feeling of "why try" when faced with doing what's right only to be confronted with failure. Maybe weight isn't the only thing I gained yesterday...maybe I gained a little compassion along with it.

This morning I reluctantly climbed back onto that scale. The two pound weight gain was gone, and I was greeted by my old familiar number...the one I started with. I had allowed my entire day to be ruined by something that would be gone with the dawn of the new day. I stopped to wonder how many other things in life I have allowed to steal my joy only to discover that with they too passed from view with the dawn of the next new day. In Lamentations 3 (the root word of Lamentations is lament....and I guess I have been lamenting that things weren't going the way I wanted...) the Bible yet again gives hope: "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

(You know, that is "portion control" that I think I can definitely live with.)

This really isn't about some arbitrary number that glows up at me from my morning weigh in. This is really about realizing that each day has battles of its own that we must face...and each day holds blessings that can easily be ignored if we become too preoccupied with our losses, or in my case, with "gains". It's about realizing that the sum of my life will be not in the number on the scale, but on how I lived each of my days....
I'm going to try to make today one I can smile about. Care to join me?


Happy Feet 26.2 said...

Great Blog today. I enjoyed it.

I know other things are so much more important, but I still want to drop a few. I can't be helped!

Donna said...

Wonder if we ever get completely happy with the shape we're in?