Sunday, May 17, 2009

Absence makes the heart grow.....

We've all heard the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". This week, I think I'm experiencing just a little of that - and I don't like it.

For some reason, the "Random Thoughts" haven't been coming as easily. I had gotten used to those wonderful feelings of hearing from God and making the connection and sharing!
I'm not saying that I've heard nothing this week. There have been lots of "God moments" that assure me that I am not walking alone, but those moments where I know that I'm seeing a peek of the connection between heaven and earth...well, those haven't been there. And I miss them. They have become like the private joke or smile shared between a husband and wife or two best friends. You've seen them. Those moments of intimacy that can only come from time shared together. I see those moments between my husband and daughter. Those shared jokes that only require a side-ways glance to send them both into peals of laughter. Those quick remarks that only make sense to the two of them. Those are the mark of time spent together and love. Those moments show even more than love...they show "like". They truly "like" each other. That's what I'm missing.

Usually, separation comes when we get too busy....we put each other off until later. We don't mean harm, we just have something that demands our attention right then. Every once in a while having a day like this won't take toll on a friendship, but when it happens every day...well, that's when the jokes start to fade. The glances don't come as often. The love is still there, but the "like" isn't quite as strong as before....and you start to miss them.
If we go too long without reconnecting, soon the "missing you" starts to fade and we move farther and farther apart. I have friends that I truly love and yet I realize I have allowed the daily struggles to push me to the point where we no longer have those shared "moments" that only we understand. I don't want to live my life that way with friends, and I certainly don't want to live my life that way with my Father. Absence has not only made this heart grow fonder, it has caused me to realize just how much I need those daily "smiles" from God...and from His children.

We all get the same amount of time each day, and some of it is already "spent" for us with things like our jobs, but so much more time each day is OURS to decide where it will be spent. I wonder just how much of this valuable resource I have thrown away? I'd never knowingly throw hundred dollar bills into the trash, but I toss my hours into a trash bin with mindless activities that have no real relation to anything.

To my friends, my family, and mostly to God....I miss you. I'm sorry for the missed opportunities to share with you. I'm taking time to remember all the things I love about you and how wonderful you are. Absence has done enough....I want no more. I'm ready for time spent with you.

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