Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I was shocked....

I was completely shocked...this had never happened before.

It had been a rough day, as most days are toward the end of the school year, but today was one for the books....students are tired and so am I. Then after school, I rushed my daughter to tryouts, went to pick up my son at a friend's house, and then rushed home to take care of a couple of things before dashing off to give blood. All in all, it was a typical day for just about any mom in America today.
I arrived at the blood services location and was told I'd have to wait. This wasn't a problem, but I was looking forward to going home. When my turn finally arrived, the nurse was quite excited that my blood type was B positive, (and I thought that was just my personality.) She began discussing with me the possibility of giving platelets since there was such a need for them and I had the right blood type and good veins, etc, etc, etc. Even my weight was a plus...she was happy to see that I weighed...wait, I'm not telling that. Still she was happy about my weight which was more than I could say. Then came the finger prick....I bled on demand as always. She dropped the red dot into the mixture and ...... nothing. It just floated. That has NEVER happened to me before! EVER!!! She took another drop and did some sort of spin...still no luck. I couldn't give. She asked if I had been dieting, which I am supposed to be doing but am not. Then she got personal and asked about caffeine....okay, did I mention it's the end of the school year? I am practically inhaling coffee and chocolate just to keep going! That was probably the problem she assured me. She encouraged me to take some vitamins and cut back on the caffeine (like that's going to happen) and come back in a couple of days. I walked out of the office completely stupefied.
By now you know....here comes the random thought. It occurred to me as I drove home that I hadn't been taking very good care of myself lately...I was putting off what I knew needed to be done until the urgency of the state tests had passed. After all, summer is just around the corner and I can get my life back in order then...can't I? But that nagging feeling came up again. This is just like yesterday when I got into a rush and picked up two left shoes and wound up causing myself more problems. I'm always rushing and not doing what I need to do for me....and then when the time came to help someone else, I couldn't. Someone will be desperately needing those platelets, and because of my careless lifestyle I can't help.

Spiritually, I'm not much better. I grab a verse here, a few minutes of prayer there....enough for my own daily needs. However, if I should run into something that requires a little bit more, I'm not sure I'll have what it takes to get through. Heaven forbid someone else should need me to help them take a stand in prayer. I've got just enough gas to get by. While I've been telling myself I was doing fine and I'd "catch up" this summer, I know that God wants something more. I think He wants that something more not just so I can help others, I think He wants it for me.

Our church has called a month of fasting and prayer and each time I pray about it, I find myself drawn not to fasting but to time spent in His Word. I'm not saying I won't give up a few meals, and maybe even the caffeine, (those around me might want to take cover), but more than that I think God is calling me to a time of filling. I'm low, even if I don't feel like it, and while I'm eager to give to others, my reserves say I need to fill up myself first.

I'm kind of reminded of the 10 foolish virgins who forgot to take enough oil for their lamps. When the bridegroom tarried, they just didn't have enough. I don't like to admit that I could be considered one of those foolish ones.

The good news is, I'm not that low. A couple of days of eating right, vitamins, and a bit less stress and my little red "blob of blood" will probably sink right to the bottom. I'm glad I discovered this now, before it became serious. Same with my spiritual walk....I'm glad I realized I'm a bit low, before it started to effect my walk.

How about you? How are you doing, both physically and spiritually? Time to take inventory and replenish your supplies. Prepare....for you never know when you might need it.

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